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View Full Version : new here! sleeping ??? re: 5 month old


Katie0807
01-07-2009, 12:53 PM
My son is 5 months old. He was very colicky for the 1st 3 months of his life. He is much more settled now.

However, I have questions for moms regarding sleeping at his age:

Should he be on some kind of routine/schedule for his naps?
Should he have a regular bed time/wake up time?

He is growing just fine and is well-rested 80% of the time, but there is really no pattern to his sleeping. Is this a problem? Am I doing something wrong?

For instance, he really sleeps best at night when I let him take an evening nap from 7:30 - 8:30 and then he goes to bed at 11:00 or 11:30. He will wake to eat maybe 2 times then and get up for the day anywhere between 8 and 10:30....is this a big deal??? Can his regular bed-time be 11:00 pm??? I just don't want to sleep deprive him!!!

If I try to keep him up a little later, like until 9:00, and put him to bed then, he will wake up an hour or so later and be difficult to put back to sleep and then he will wake up even more frequently in the night! Sometimes he wants to play in the middle of the night, too! I have never played with him in the night, even as a newborn. I keep the lights off and I do not talk to him except to shhhhush him and sing lullabies.

He is still so little. I can't really reason with him to lay still and go to sleep!

I am just frustrated b/c other moms who I have asked advice from keep telling me he needs to have an earlier bed time and that he needs to be on a nap routine, or even a schedule, and I just can't seem to get him to do it! I don't want to wake him up if he is sleeping and tired and I don't want to force him to go to sleep and stay asleep if he wants to be awake????? Is this so bad????

I have always had sleep issues with this little guy. Even as a newborn, he would only nap for 45 minutes at a time!!! Sometimes only 20 minutes! Until 2 weeks ago, he refused to sleep ANYWHERE (not even with me!) but his car seat! These things have not affected him negatively in any way...I guess they bother me b/c I am a strong Type-A personality and I'd hoped that my baby would follow my plans!!! HAHA!!!

Another strike against me is that as a new, totally inexperienced in the world of children mommy with a majorly colicky baby, someone bought me a copy of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Ugh. I read the whole thing. I wish I had never read that book, b/c even though I disagree with it and found most of it to be like training a puppy!, there are times when I doubt myself and wonder if there is something wrong with me as a mother and that is why my son won't sleep according to my ideals!!!!

Any encouragement/advice would be greatly appreciated! I'm really struggling with myself!!!

THANKS
Katie

tazmom
01-07-2009, 03:09 PM
My first didn't get into a regular routine until around 5-6 mo. Once she did, she slept from about 10 pm to 10 am (with 3-4 feedings at night). I didn't mind since it meant I got to sleep in too.

While I do think routines based on the child's natural tendencies are important, I don't think schedules are. What I mean is, if you see that he sleeps best from 11 pm - 10 am with naps around a certain time, and there's no pressing reason not to, let that be his routine. With a routine you can vary it as needed also. I always said that nap/bed/eating time was give or take an hour. If you see that they are more or less tired, you can change it without worrying about "messing up the schedule."

The bottom line is that you know your baby best. If an evening nap and late bedtime is what works for him and works for you, then there's nothing wrong with it.

KatieMae
01-09-2009, 03:11 PM
I'm sorry you're second-guessing yourself b/c of that book :hug Have you read, "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. Lots & lots of us on here :heart that book :yes She has a lot of ideas for getting into a routine - NOT a schedule ;) - that might be helpful if you think his bedtime is too late. It may just be a matter of waking him a half-hour earlier in the day & getting him to sleep at 10:30pm instead of 11:00pm, ya know? Just making a slight adjustment until it's working better for you... but ultimately, if a late bedtime works for your family, that's PERFECTLY FINE :yes :hug