Toddler in same bed with newborn?

[Aisling]

Does anyone have this sleeping arrangement? Is it even *safe*? DD#2yo is NOT budging. She likes to "sweep on mommy's ponytail" (literally, to bury her face in my hair). She's a die hard mommy's girl. Period. She's fully weaned, and sleeping with me is her security blanket bigtime. :/ DD4yo is still sleeping in the side carred crib, and is terrified of sleeping in a separate room. :crazy2 :paranoid She's our best sleeper, and it would REALLY stink to introduce night time drama with her right now. :doh Having an extra mattress in our room in *addition* to the current setup isn't a real possibility. There's just enough room for the glider, and the glider stays. I need it for late night nursing and my own sanity. :shifty

Help me? I'm stressing, stressing, stressing out...this was supposed to magically fall into place by now, and now we're in the "need to decide something in a timely manner" zone. :help ACK!!! :eek

[Rabbit]

Samantha was 18 months old when Simon arrived. No way was she budging. Josh slowly weaned her over to his side, but in the meantime, the newborn slept tummy to tummy with me, at the edge of the bed, and Samantha slept in the middle, cuddling into my back when she needed me. It was a little harder because I couldn't roll over with the baby to more comfortably nurse on the other side, but it worked out.

[Psyche]

I was going to suggest DH putting himself in between the two of you. What about DD 4yo in a mattress at the foot of the bed, your other DD in the side car crib on your side?

[Aisling]

Samantha was 18 months old when Simon arrived. No way was she budging. Josh slowly weaned her over to his side, but in the meantime, the newborn slept tummy to tummy with me, at the edge of the bed, and Samantha slept in the middle, cuddling into my back when she needed me. It was a little harder because I couldn't roll over with the baby to more comfortably nurse on the other side, but it worked out.


I think this may be what we end up doing...

[Katigre]

I would not feel safe letting a toddler sleep next to a baby - in the same bed if mom is separating them 100% of the time :yes. (Ex. Newborn - Mama - 2yo - Daddy - 4yo) But otherwise it's just not safe - a toddler doesn't have the 6th sense that a mama does about where the baby is and how to not roll on him/her. After the baby is 12 months or so then I'd be fine letting them cosleep next to each other - but not a newborn for sure and not a non-mobile infant.

Would your two girls cosleep together? That can sometimes help.

[MamaPepper]

:popcorn

I'm feeling like I'm going to be having the exact same issues. . . I'm actually getting my new bed tonight and will for the first time be starting to try and transition BOTH boys into their own beds in a separate room. . . I'm not anticipating it going very smoothly, but I'm going to try. . . I personally don't feel that my boys would be safe sleeping with a newborn, but especially Leo b/c he is a wiggle worm, and a body slammer at night (he will sit up in his sleep and slam his full 30 lbs down anywhere he feels will land on me :/)

I will be anxiously looking on this thread for advice on this too!!!

[Rabbit]

We were working on getting Samantha into a toddler bed pulled up next to ours, on her daddy's side, and Simon in the middle. Ha! Simon has now decided that he has to sleep touching me -and- his sister, and she refuses to sleep any way but touching her brother and her daddy, so I have two children smack in the middle of the bed. Naturally, they have to sleep on their backs, spread eagle, too, on a queen size mattress.

[Aisling]

I was going to suggest DH putting himself in between the two of you. What about DD 4yo in a mattress at the foot of the bed, your other DD in the side car crib on your side?


She will absolutely freak. out. :P :tired

Our bedroom is fairly small...there's really not room for another mattress in there. It's pretty crowded as it is with the bed and the crib, and there's just nowhere else to put our dresser in the house. :think I think I'd really prefer to have dd4yo (who likes to chat herself to sleep, and tends to yell in her sleep) used to sleeping in another room, truly. It may take buying another white noise machine and a cool nightlight (she really loves this one that projects stars onto the ceiling), but the idea of trying to sleep at ALL in a room with a crying newborn in the middle of the night (and having the wake up from the noise, asking for water, a banana, etc) scares me right out of my boots. :shifty

I'm an ugly, ugly person when I don't sleep enough. Like, really mean. :bag I'd truly like to minimize nighttime being synonymous with torture if I can. :sigh

[illinoismommy]

I was going to suggest a sibling bed for the two older girls!

[Psyche]

ITU. I'm so thankful Caden is usually in his room. He insisted to the point of tears to sleep with us instead of my parents when we were there last (for two nights, the first night I encouraged him to stay with my parents and he did okay but I feel guilty now), so the second night we let him and it was so nerve racking to try to keep Jon silent. The time we stayed there before that and Caden slept with me and Jon, he sat up in the middle of the night to tell Jon to "SHHHHHHH!" because his grunting woke him up!

[Aisling]

I would not feel safe letting a toddler sleep next to a baby - in the same bed if mom is separating them 100% of the time :yes. (Ex. Newborn - Mama - 2yo - Daddy - 4yo) But otherwise it's just not safe - a toddler doesn't have the 6th sense that a mama does about where the baby is and how to not roll on him/her. After the baby is 12 months or so then I'd be fine letting them cosleep next to each other - but not a newborn for sure and not a non-mobile infant.

Would your two girls cosleep together? That can sometimes help.


Those two love each other dearly...and they're like oil and water. :giggle DD #1 loves to snuggle and smother, and I'm practically the only person dd#2 will allow to touch her without wigging out completely. Classic touchy-feely and "give me my space already". :giggle I'm not sure I see that going well. :think They've slept in the same space *once*, and when we tried to duplicate it, they ended up fighting like shrieking cats. :bag

ETA: since she's been nightweaned, she sleeps exclusively between mommy and daddy. :yes That might work for a little while at least (having the situation be newborn, me, 2yo, daddy). I'd need to get a rail for the bed. :think

[Rabbit]

:giggle

[klpmommy]

I'm going to have this same situation, except I don't foresee S being nighttime weaned by the time Tadpole arrives. :nails Although if I can get her to only nursing once a night it would help a ton.

[TuneMyHeart]

We tried all sleeping in our room, and Ellie was a major grump from being wakened by the baby at night. She was already in her room for most of the night (one of us would sleep in her bed if she needed us), and she's in there all night now. It's often Ellie and DH in Ellie's bed, and the baby and me in our bed. Ellie has actually started sleeping all night in her room without wanting one of us. :jawdrop

[Yuliana]

I coslept w/ both my boys BUT I put a bed rail on one side, the newborn next to the bedrail, me in the middle and then the older one on the other side.

Since you have a 2 yr. old I would either put one bed rail on each side or put one side of the bed next to the wall and a bed rail on the other side.

[light of mine]

We have a king size mattress on the floor with DH-3yo-Mamma-NB-bedrail. It works very well for us. I did let 5-mo DS and 3 DD accidentally fall asleep next to each other once (my DD always wanted to talk to brother before she goes to sleep), and when DS woke I found him trying to find milkies on his big sister. :giggle

[JellyBean]

Right now DS sleeps with me when DH is out of town (which is over half the week). He transitions to his bed fine when DH is home most of the time unless he just needs a little extra connection time with daddy. So we're planning on days daddy is gone for it to be DS, me, baby, baby, wall and if he really has a hard time in his bed when they get here it will be DH, DS, me baby, baby, wall (thankfully we upgraded to a King!) Hopefully that will work! I'm curious to see how he'll do with waking babies all night though...he may happily choose to sleep in his bed full time!

[Marzipan]

M was 2.5 when C was born, and we did what a pp mentioned-- put her between dh and I and C on the outside next to me (or in the amby occasionally). ,This time, M is in a mattress on the floor, C will move to the middle, and baby will go on the outside-- again. I am desperately hoping to nightwean ds by the birth of baby, and sometime in the next year, M will transition to her own room-- hopefully C will follow by his 3rd birtday or so. 3 people in bed sounds blissful.

[Aisling]

Rachel, doesn't it? :giggle I can't imagine the ROOM we'd have, lol. We have a queen, and a side carred crib, but dd#1 tends to wander into the bed from time to time. I'm scheming now...if we don't get dd#1 moved into another room right away, I bet we could get a cheap toddler mattress to slide under the crib during the daytime. :think

[AngelaVA]

:popcorn Baby is due in 4 weeks and DD has started coming to our bed in the middle of the night again :nails

[expatmom]

Honestly, I'd work on transitioning dd1 to her own room (preferrably in a double bed) and just know that dh might be spending part of or a lot of most nights helping her to sleep. That would give you bed options & more space. We've done musical beds for the past 9 yrs & the one thing we've realized is that it really pays to have big beds in every room where we potentially might be sleeping!

[puah]

i hear ya! the beginning of Dec we started transitioning our 21 mo to the big kids room, and it is going pretty well. but on nights where dh is up there a lot, and then has to call me in for reinforcements i get terrifying visions of the four of us in bed :nails

[SweetMelissa]

We did the bedrail, baby, mama, toddler, daddy thing when Gideon was born and Finn was 21 months old. Finn had a toddler bed at the foot of our bed by that point, but didn't spend a whole lot of time in it. He was also not yet nightweaned, and it was miserable for me, but that's beside the point. Finn is in his own room now, and starts out there, but still comes in with us at some point. Sometimes the two boys end up next to each other, and I can't stand that because I am constantly trying to keep them from hitting or kicking each other and I get no sleep. Anyway, I have no idea what we're going to do when we have a third. :nails Gideon is nightweaned, thank goodness, but both boys still really like to be close to mama at night. I think we'll be getting another toddler bed soon and trying to start the transition with Gideon. I wish we had a double bed in Finn's room so that dh could go in there with him. I often end up taking Gideon to the couch with me (or sneaking of by myself, if possible) just to have a little more space (our sectional is very roomy :rockon).

[Rabbit]

I'm a little afraid of using a bedrail. I'd rather put the bed at a height where I'm not scared of the newborn rolling off.

[azlayla]

:giggle Cute reading all these posts about night time experiences. I'm glad I'm not the only one with talkers, movers and shakers, and sometimes screamers in the bed. My sister is actually moving her bed to the ground and adding mattresses on the floor so they can all just roll about. :lol Hey, whatever works! My DH wouldn't go for that so for now mom, dad, kids, pets and all find a place to crash on the king bed. This is the only place where I could confess that :shifty I'm around some fairly narrow minded people.

~Layla

[KatieMae]

Samantha was 18 months old when Simon arrived. No way was she budging. Josh slowly weaned her over to his side, but in the meantime, the newborn slept tummy to tummy with me, at the edge of the bed, and Samantha slept in the middle, cuddling into my back when she needed me. It was a little harder because I couldn't roll over with the baby to more comfortably nurse on the other side, but it worked out.


That's how it was with us as well. Lilia was 2.5 when Jude was born, so it wasn't long before she decided our cramped queen bed (bedrail-baby-mama-Lilia-daddy) was not ideal & now she & Lucas share a room (each has their own bed.)

[TraceMama]

Our situation is similar. :)

BlueEyes sleeps in his own room and is starting to stay there, but most nights he wanders in and sleeps on the futon on the floor next to our bed. :yes

Dimples *loves* being near me and will not stay in bed if it's just dh and him. :sadno He *needs* to rub my arms for comfort before settling back to sleep. :sigh

We're trying to transition him to the futon on the floor for most of the night. He's falling asleep there, but by the middle of the night he's climbed up into bed and is like velcro. :doh I'm hoping it will get better and that I'll be able to reach my arm down to the futon to comfort him and he'll be able to stay there. :nails

But, chances are, we'll be doing a co-sleeper, baby, Mama, Dimples, Daddy, BlueEyes (on the adjacent futon) sandwich. ;)

[MamaCare]

Oh, my.... right there with ya. We are attempting to transition Calder out of our bed (a king, currently it's DH, Isaac, me, then Calder) before the new one arrives. So far, not going so well. He falls asleep w/me, then is put into the toddler bed right next to ours, but wakes between 2 and 3 and climbs up to snuggle.
Meanwhile, Giselle also goes to sleep w/me (or DH) in her double bed in her own room, but if she wakes (which she has been doing lately) she goes into her big brothers' room (they vary on whether they're willing to have her join them in bed, usually the two of them are in one of the two twins in their room) or will come into our room, but wants to be in the big bed, not the toddler bed. (Which is usually empty by then cause Calder has climbed in the big bed.) :crazy

Last night I tried putting C and G down in her bed, she fell right asleep, but he refused. After trying for an hour to get him down, I gave up and went into my room to get on my pjs... tossed him on my bed. After 3 minutes of fussing while I got my teeth brushed/jammies on/supplements taken, he was dead asleep. I ended up putting him in the toddler bed. (Which he climbed out of later.) DH joined Giselle in her bed when she came into our room. And, strangely, Isaac had a really hard night.... I think he missed DH!

I have no idea what to try now... but three littles in the big bed will not work... and since the two smallest will be night nursing, Calder is going to have to find someone or something else to be his "lovey" during the night. :nails

[Niphredil]

:popcorn

We only have three to the bed now, but I'm nervous about the transition too. N is a huge toss & turner and is still up 2 or 3 times a night. I feel like our sleeping situation is going to be kind of hairy the first few months. :nails

[Firebird Rising]

Honestly, Ashley, I'd be tempted to move MYSELF to another room, leaving the other three there, letting your younger dd attach to daddy a bit more and giving you the chance to be with baby... Then, after a month or two, move back in. I don't know if you could effectively do that, though, this close to birth. I'd consider it still.

Jen D.

[MaiMama]

sub

[tinyheaths]

I am about to be in the same boat. Dh deployed when dd2 was still not yet one and she is VERY attached to me and is still getting used to Daddy being home. Now with this one due in 3 months I am hoping Dh can get her to lay down with him in her sissys room and go to sleep :pray4 We have tried a toddler bed next to me with not to much luck. If that doen't work our plan in for DH to sleep on a mattress on the floor and me to sleep with both one on each side (poor DH).