Creating habit or Fostering attachment?

[Emerald Orchid]

I've been reading Dr.Sears' Nighttime Parenting and The Fussy Baby Book. He says that one of the reasons babies wake up often at night (other than for biological reasons) is to foster attachment with their mom, therefore these nighttime wakings are necessary.

I've also read from AP friendly sources that the reason why babies wake up at night is because they have been used to it and keep doing so by habit. The No Cry Sleep Solution gives examples of babies sttn because their sleepwaking habits were changed.

What are your views on this seeming contradiction?

[light of mine]

:popcorn Very interested in what others think

[emmalouise]

It's a habit that fosters attachment, maybe. And if it's a habit that ends up not working out for other people in the family (like the parent who is parenting at night), then different habits can be created to foster attachment so that there isn't a need for this one any longer. :) If you don't mind the habit, then there's no need to change it.

[swimming with sharks]

It's a habit that fosters attachment, maybe. And if it's a habit that ends up not working out for other people in the family (like the parent who is parenting at night), then different habits can be created to foster attachment so that there isn't a need for this one any longer. :) If you don't mind the habit, then there's no need to change it.


I;'ll go with that one. I've got one who just started sleeping trough the night (46 mths) and one who pretty much sttn at 15 mths...same process...different kids. If it's not working for you change it, but if everyone's happy and sleeping, you've got it. :yes

[Katigre]

I would say both are possible and part of it :shrug. Totally depends on the child and the age too.

For example, on the nights that I teach I know that DS will wake up once before midnight looking for me, coming to find me and cuddle, and as soon as he does he'll fall back asleep easily. On the nights I don't teach (meaning i'm there when he goes to bed whereas the nights i teach i'm gone at bedtime) he doesn't wake up then. I consider that waking up to be a desire for attachment/reconnection and don't consider it a problem :). I've read of many WOHM's whose babies wake up at night to reconnect.

On the other hand, I think we all have read stories about or had friends whose babies (older babies/toddlers especially) woke up out of habit to nurse at night when it was available and once they were nightweaned/breast wasn't available on demand at night and only at certain times, they stopped waking out of habit.

[MarynMunchkins]

It's probably both. :shrug

I've just decided it's not worth the work to get a baby STTN when I can just nurse in bed. ;)