do you cosleep or not?

[pastelsummer]

My daughter doesn't sleep with us, she really never has only when she was sick she slept in a cradle by the bed untill 3 months but started waking up at every noise. So we moved her to her nursery the next room over and she has slept fine since. when I did have her sleep with us when she was really sick NONE of us slept. She goes to her bed a like 9pm and makes a few whiny noises and usually goes to sleep. A few times she will cry and if one of us goes in and rub her back she goes to sleep. (unless daddy hasn't loved her first then she will scream untill he gets home even if I pick her up and cuddle her. I was wondering how everyone else ever managed to cosleep. I have not done it with great success even with my nieces and nephews.

[Heather Micaela]

I am not sure - all kids are different.

My babies have always slept in the crook of my arm. If they awaken, I am not aware becsue they may latch on and nurse a few minutes then go to sleep again. I barely wake up. Other than the first 2-4 weeks, I have never felt sleep deprived.

Also all of us are in one bed still - Mom, Dad and all 3 sibs (and one on the way)

[jewelmcjem]

If she slept by herself up to 3 months, then it may be that she just got used to sleeping by herself. If you started out cosleeping, it might have worked better. So far, we're doing it with Fiona. We didn't with the bigger kids, at least not consistently. I have the swing by the bed,sometimes she'll sleep there when she won't fall asleep with me in bed. But usually she's in with us. Dh is getting used to having her with us -- he was really nervous about it, but yesterday I got up first and left the two of them together and he was perfectly OK with it. Duncan still climbs in with us when he wakes up crying in the night -- usually I would get up with him and sooth him back to sleep, but often I'm nursing the baby and dh either sleeps through it or just ignores him. So I just call him in with us. Now, when Fiona gets to the squirmy, kicking stage I don't know if it will work so well.

[loveberry]

I brought Alex to bed with me because getting up to nurse him a million times a night was not working at all. He liked it, I liked it, and he stayed.

If the kid is actually sleeping through in a separate bed that makes sense, but Alex, once he got over being a conked out newborn, was awake to eat about every hour or two. For a year. No way could I have survived that with him in a separate sleeping space.

[racheepoo]

Well, I had a baby that could not be without skin contact with me for more than a couple of minutes without crying until he was about 18 months old. Even now, at almost 4 y.o., he rolls over often and puts a hand out to make sure I'm there. I can hear him talking in his sleep because I'm not in there right now. He *was* doing okay in his own bed (right next to our big bed) but when I left stbx, he's never slept in his own bed after the first 2 nights. It was hard cosleeping with all of us, because there was no room...but with just me, ds, and the dog--it's fine. :D

[Codi]

I have to agree with Heather. It is just SO MUCH easier co-sleeping. Wouldnt ever wanna change it.

So to answer your question, yes, we do co-sleep.

One of the AP ideals! :)

[Soaring Eagle]

With my dd we did until she was 3 and then switched to the mattress on our bedroom floor and then at 4 we put her in her own room.

My son we usually end up co-sleeping on the recliner half-way through the night...

[Charlie U]

Like Heather's kids did, my youngest dd slept in the crook of my arm. Unfortunately, I woke up every single time she stirred. We swaddled her tightly and that helped, but once she outgrew swaddling, I was up all the time again and exhausted all the time. It was dangerous. She moved into her crib at 6 months.

We aren't cosleeping now, but the girls know if they wake up in the middle of the night, they can come into our bed and sleep the rest of the night with us. The youngest has been too upset to do so when she wakes up. So I will get her out of her room and put her in bed with us.

[kandykidsaturn]

oh heck yes we co sleep. we have since she was born. at the time, i didnt know there was any controversy about it, i just thought some did, some didnt. i tried to have her sleep in her bed when she was a baby, and i would just end up going and getting her when she cried and bringing her to bed with me. She's been here ever since. normally, i try to make her go to sleep in her own bed, and then come to mine, but lately, shes just been going to sleep in my bed too. we've been nodding off around 8-9 :shifty

But i love it, i wouldn't change it. i know if shes sick, i know when she gets up, i know whats going on, and if she has a bad dream, i cuddle her and we both go back to sleep. not to say i dont wake up with a toe up my nose every now and then, but hey, thats part of it, and i love it!

[Yuliana]

I share the bed w/ my 7 yr. old and my 14 month old.

[erh384]

:yes and we love it! Dd sleeps best with us... cuddled into one of us... usually playing with our hair. Dh was hesitant at first, but he is so happy about it now... he actually sent me an email this morning to let me know how happy he was that dd woke him up with hugs and kisses when his alarm went off ( :shifty I sleep until as close to 8:30am as possible... our bedroom is babysafe, so IF she wakes up early, she does her own thing).

ETA- we started out using a bassinet in between feedings, but when she outgrew it, we just kept her in bed with us. Then we decided our fs bed was too small & got a KS bed... best investment-ever.

[Soliloquy]

Yes, we co-sleep and we really love it. Some babies prefer their own space, though, as do some parents, and it can work out fine that way, too.

[Psyche]

We've evolved over the months :)

Started out in a co sleeper. Then I started putting him in bed with me when he first woke to eat (accidentally b/c I kept falling asleep). Then he started the night out in his room in his crib, and I'd sleep on the mattress on the floor when he woke to eat. Then it was a crib in our room and he'd come to bed when he first woke. Then he night weaned. Some nights he'd wake up and come to sleep with us. So we do co sleep sometimes. Most nights not though.

[MaybeGracie]

We started out with DS in a bassinet right next to our bed. At about 3 months, he started waking up again for feedings at night (he STTN from 1 month old). Often I'd fall asleep while feeding him and wake up in the morning to find him snuggled up next to me. Over the next couple months, he started spending more and more time in our bed; now we co-sleep full time and love it.

[finnegansmommy]

We do! We started out w/ baby in bassinet for about 3 months. then he went to the bassinet insert of the pack n play (both of these right next to me--next to the bed).

THEN--the TEETHING BEGAN. And nightwaking went from ONCE per night to--a lot. I started putting him in bed w/ me when my dh would leave (6:30 am). Then that crept to his 4 am wakeup. Finally my dh said "just put him in bed with us all night, you'll sleep better!" He was right!!

I think it depends on the family and the child. I don't sleep soundly "all night," but he sleeps snuggled next to me and I barely awaken when he nurses. no night crying, no getting up, etc.....it works very well for us. I have been surprised, very pleasantly, at how great co-sleeping has been for me.

[iburnbrownies]

We do what I like to call "half hearted co-sleeping" meaning we do it when it works, our door is always open, new newborns sleep with us/or in our room, but even Baby M at 5.5 mo starts out the night in her own crib (when she goes down for here longer sleep, usually around 9) and then if she wakes up at night, I take her in our bed to nurse and she stays there until morning. We all seem to fall asleep better this way.

Our ds L still climbs in our bed many nights at around 4 or so and stays until morning....then it is musical beds around her cus he sleeps like a log and I don't trust him not to roll on baby M....so either baby M goes into her crib again, or if she is nursing, then L and DH go to L's bed to snuggle for a while. Sometimes A still climbs in, but that is rare. JoJo very very rarely will come in our bed, but not really to sleep, just to cuddle for a bit.

So, my long winded answer is yes, and I love it! I think it is one of the great snuggly joys of parenting :melting, and someday when it inevitably ends, I will be very sad. But as you can tell from our hodge podge approach, I also think that whatever works for each family, works for that family and go with it. :heart

[Mum2Es]

I don't with DD. She started out in a bassinet in our room but I couldn't sleep - every snuffle or movement woke me - so after a week or so we moved her into her own room. We had lots of ups and downs with sleeping, and she did sleep in with us for half the night (once she woke for a feed) for a few months when she was 1. I couldn't stand it - I'm a very light sleeper and hate to be touched while I'm sleeping, and DH sleeps like a log, so when I brought DD in with us he wouldn't budge so DD and I would be squished in what was left of the bed and I would sleep so badly, and she didn't sleep great either. With the new baby due this year, I've set things up so that I can co-sleep with the baby if it makes things easier - we bought a double bed for the nursery as well as the cot, so the baby can sleep in the cot, but if she/he is waking a lot and it becomes easier, I'll just feed and sleep with him/her in the double bed, while DH stays in our Queen bed, and DD stays in her own room. If DD gets lonely or sad, she can come in with either me and baby (hopefully a double is big enough for me and 2 littlies to sleep comfortably) or go in with Daddy. I'm a lot more prepared to be flexible and go with whatever works this time - except I am not going to try co-sleeping with DH AND child/children. I'm a big believer in going with whatever works for you and your family.

[AdrienneQW]

Dexter never co-slept at all. I think in his time in the NICU he got used to being in his own space and he prefered it that way. He slept in a pack & play in our room until he was about six months, then moved into a crib in his own room.

Celeste co-slept for her first three months or so, but never in bed. She slept better in a more upright position, so she slept on my chest or in the crook of my arm in the recliner. Once she got past that stage she slept in a pack & play in our room until she night-weaned, around 15-16 months. Then she went into a crib in her own room.

Now we co-sleep occasionally, like when traveling or when one of the kids has a fever. For the most part though, they're in their own beds.

[crunchyusmcluv]

:yes we cosleep with both of our kids. We even got a king size bed to keep doing it. Evan was not sleeping in his bed and Jacob was still small. Evan is still not sleeping all night in his bed and so he will climb in bed with us. Jacob loves it he knows our door is open to both of them and he will climb up cuddle and give all of us kisses( he sleep in his own bed at first too and usually is the last to come in) It is sooo cute. I wish everyone could have this relationship with their kids. My sister locks the door when they go to sleep and my only thought is how mean but then it is what if there was a fire and the kids woke up and they did not and they are trying to get to them. I get scared about that all the time. I know I got OT sorry. :cry

[Elora]

I share my bed with my son and I love it. I thought I would hate it because I hate sleeping with people - even my husband I preferred in a separate bed. Every time he moved I'd wake up and be so annoyed I couldn't go back to sleep. His breathing drove me insane to listen to and he didn't even snore. He made me too warm. He always was elbowing me or touching me in his sleep an GAH I never got a good night's rest with him.

So when ds wouldn't stay asleep without being in my arms, I was beyond frustrated. I barely slept because I was uncomfortable holding him. Between my light sleeping and his night waking, I was lucky to ever sleep 2 hours.

But something happened, I don't know what changed, but I cannot sleep without him now.

When he first learned to crawl and he would so sleepily crawl across the bed in the middle of the night and crash into me with his eyes still closed and breathe that sweet little contented sigh...cuddle up...all was right in the world.

And when we would lay down, and he began singing with me until we drifted off to sleep together...it made me melt.

He puts his arm under my neck, leans his forehead to mine, or his cheek to mine, pulls me close and hugs me tight. Sometimes he plays with my hair. Sometimes he pats my shoulder. That cuddle to sleep...it's like nothing else in the world. :heart :heart :heart I get :happytears at least once a week over it. It really is the most precious time. A time when he is content to cuddle and love on me...he's not distracted with play, I'm not chasing him and pulling him down from whatever he's decided to climb, we're not feeding, we're not cleaning...all the business of the day is forgotten and he is content to cuddle. He wouldn't nurse, but I would imagine that the down time to reconnect might be similar? I think it keeps us connected and bonded. I plan on cosleeping until he decides he's too cool for mom

[HomeWithMyBabies]

At this point, with an almost five year old and an almost three year old, the boys have their own beds where they start the night. If they wake up and want to join us they are always welcome. Usually our youngest wakes up in the wee hours to finish the night with us.

Ok, truthfully they are almost always welcome...if our oldest insists on jumping on the bed at three am, he's sent back to his own bed to do that.

[FaroeIslandBabes]

well, we didnt plan on it...my three year old Hannah has always slept in a bassinette, crib, toddler bed now. We always put her in her room at night but since shes been in her toddler bed, she wakes up everynight and comes in our room....then my huband goes to her bed! Thats been since my son was born 6 mos. ago...Hes been in a craddle next to the bed and just about 1 week ago moved into his own room in a crib. Hes actually sleeping better...he was waking everytime we moved, so its better for us and him. We've been wanting to put hannah back in her bed when she wakes up so that my husband can stay in our bed...but we just havent found the strength in the middle of the night yet! I dont mind having her with us...but it is hard for us both to sleep when shes there. She moves around constantly and he cant stand being kicked all night! I just keeping thinking...soon she'll be a teenager and wont be jumping in our bed anymore, then I'll miss it :)

[Raspberries]

We co-sleep. What's helped us the most is that our bedroom is wall to wall bed. We have a queen mattress and full mattress on the floor. We keep our dressers and other "stuff" in a different room so that basically our bedroom is just for sleeping. It gives us lots of room and helps me out if I need some extra space. She'll sometimes sleep in one of the beds with me and sometimes with DH in the other. We're trying to transition her to sleeping in the full, full time with DH so that the new baby can be in bed with me. It's made breastfeeding easier, and it just gives us all nice peace of mind. I like being able to be right there and I love snuggling as I sleep. I also love it when she wakes me up with kisses. :heart

[LadybugSam]

Caleb started out in a bassinet next to our bed, until one night when he woke up crying and i went to get him and there was this HUGE spider sitting on top of him. From then on he slept with us in bed.

When he was 1 i moved a crib to sidecar position and he slept there, always making sure that he was at least touching me.

When he was 3 1/2 he moved into his own room, went to sleep in his own bed. But when he woke up in the middle of the night he would cry and i would go and sleep with him in his bed. He never liked that. After a couple months of me sleeping with him in the middle of the night, he stopped crying, and instead of me coming to his bed, he would sneak into our room and cuddle in between us.

He's now and he still comes to sleep with us in the middle of the night aout 80% of the time. I'm not a cuddly sleeper but i feel very comfortable sleeping with him and he doesnt usually wake me up (unless he steals my pillows :P)

[RosieTook]

We've slept with both the girls since they were born. :tu

[crunchymum]

we cosleep and love it, though i will say it's getting to be a tight squeeze! ;) we're currently trying to figure out how to shift things a little - but even when we're all piled on top of each other, we sleep good. used to it, i guess. :)

[HummusDip]

We have cosleep with our daughter every night until she got her own room and bed at 2. Now we put her down in there and when she wakes up, one of us either goes in to comfort her back down to sleep or she comes into bed with us. Although maybe once a week she just sleeps with us. Actually, now that she's weaned, she slept in bed with us last night and we both loved it. So she might just start cosleeping with us full time again, which we would both love. It's that she's a bed hog and she used to wake up and want to nurse if we breathed on her! But now she stays asleep so it's making things a lot more doable. We'll cosleep with the new baby too. :)

[pastelsummer]

Now i feel bad because i am not co-sleeping. :cry But no one ever gets any sleep if we do try.

[milkmommy]

We did colseep at one time or well we did the side car thig. DD and truthfull me as well need space at night even when DD was a tiny infant shes loved me to hold her when nusing or when takinga bottle and when sleepy loved to be rocked and craddled but RIGHt before she fell into that deep sleep we learned better put her down close by but enough space shs was on her "own" or we'd have a horrible screaming fit all night..
At around 9 months DD suddenly decided that even side car wasn't enough space as she would wake use us as her own personal human playground or throw fits so we moved the crib away from our bed and so happiply and peacefully co roomed with us. :shrug
We moved here when she was just shy of two years and for the first time got her own room we thought she'd just sleep with us at least for a while but nope shes immediently took to her own room and while shes still joins us at time for illiness scarry nightmares and such (like right now as we deal with my health shes been a bit moe clingy). We've always had a healthy cosleeping relationship but its deffiently not always been the 'easy" or even the best choice. I agree kids can be very diffrent.
Deanna

[milkmommy]

Now i feel bad because i am not co-sleeping. :cry But no one ever gets any sleep if we do try.


Your meeting your families needs. :shrug I spent many months insisting that DD coleep with us dirrectly because another AP board suggested that not doing so was anti AP and all that. It was months of no one sleeping and DD CIO (but it was in arms so okay :/) till I figured that whatever it just wasn't what worked for our family. :shrug

Deanna

[SamRose]

Now i feel bad because i am not co-sleeping. :cry But no one ever gets any sleep if we do try.

If your baby is naturally comfortable and happy sleeping outside of your bed, U shouldnt feel bad! We co-sleep only as much as we have to. DH doesnt love it, and I can live w/o myself. I started out co-sleeping as needed to BF when ds was born. But he started sleeping thru the nite (8-10 hrs) from 6 wks on, it was wonderful! There was no reason for him to be in our bed, having us bother him w/ movement or vice versa, when we could all get a full nite of uninterrupted sleep w/ him happily in his crib. I had a monitor RIGHT next to his head, and would awaken if his breathing even changed too much, so it was as if he was right next to me NEway.
We did the same thing w/ DD, started out co-sleepin as needed for BFing. She stayed in our bed a long time tho.
I can honestly say that I dont get it how SO MANY moms say they LOVE co-sleeping. We do it as needed, not for fun, or love of all being crammed into one bed. :)
AP is about parenting from the heart & meeting your children's needs, and I know from experience that not all babies need to be in the crook of moms arm (for example) to sleep soundly and happily. I would love if baby #3 slept like my 1st, even if it means having a 'dreaded' crib baby :jawdrop lol.
So all that is to say we co-sleep part time basically! When baby wants or needs to be in our bed, s/he is :yes
(and just ftr, I had never even heard of 'co-sleeping' before I had my 1st baby. It was just natural to me to have my baby in bed w/ me to BF at nite. It made no sense to wake up, get up, feed the baby, put him back to sleep someplace away form me, then get back to sleep myself. It just made sense to keep him by me and we both barely had to wake up.)

[Yuliana]

Now i feel bad because i am not co-sleeping. :cry But no one ever gets any sleep if we do try.


Your meeting your families needs. :shrug I spent many months insisting that DD coleep with us dirrectly because another AP board suggested that not doing so was anti AP and all that. It was months of no one sleeping and DD CIO (but it was in arms so okay :/) till I figured that whatever it just wasn't what worked for our family. :shrug

Deanna


Been AP means meeting your child's needs whatever they may be. Some children need to cosleep, others don't. Some children need to be slinged, others don't. As long as you are meeting your child's needs then you are an AP parent.

[HomeWithMyBabies]

Now i feel bad because i am not co-sleeping. :cry But no one ever gets any sleep if we do try.


My oldest always liked his space, I like my space, Dh likes his space...the only naturally cosleeping person in this family is our littlest. :giggle I'm just not truly partial to it, but we do what works best! It's not a step to being AP, it's just that it's available. It wouldn't make sense to force it when it's not wanted...forcing it would just create frustration. :hug2

[crunchymum]

Now i feel bad because i am not co-sleeping. :cry But no one ever gets any sleep if we do try.


Your meeting your families needs. :shrug I spent many months insisting that DD coleep with us dirrectly because another AP board suggested that not doing so was anti AP and all that. It was months of no one sleeping and DD CIO (but it was in arms so okay :/) till I figured that whatever it just wasn't what worked for our family. :shrug

Deanna



:yes it wouldn't make sense to do something that makes everyone miserable! :hug2

[IslandHome]

Co-sleeping hasn't worked for us either, though we have tried it for weeks at a time at various stages. We still co-sleep occasionally, especially if we're sleeping somewhere other than home.

DS has always disliked being restricted. When he was just born he would wriggle his way out of any wrap. If he sleeps with us he wakes up in a real panic because he feels confined. He is also unbelievably restless and kicks and moves most of the night so as result none of us get very much sleep.

[tnaallen]

Yep. We co-sleep. My 4 year old and 19 month old are both still in there. I'm a very light sleeper and I wake at every noise if they aren't with me (to worry if they have gotten through the gate and fallen downstairs, or are not breathing right, etc...). But I like to be touching someone while I sleep and dh doens't, so my 4 year old and I snuggle smothered together since she's the same way, and my 19 month old has always preferred he own space.

BUT, I don't think I could have survived being a mother if I didn't co-scleep. If I don't get good sleep I get flu like symptoms and am just practically incoherant if awoken in the night. I've tried moving them one at a time to their own bed at hte foot of my bed and then bring them into my bed if they woke up, but even just helping them into our bed and getting settled for that awakening was dreadful. I could never have gotten up to nurse my kiddos in a seperate area or even to just pick them up and lay them in my bed as often as nurslings wake up. My 19 month old wakes up a ton as it is to nurse during teething spells. Thankfully I don't have to really move or wake up for it since she's right next to me. Otherwise I'd too easily fall prey to CIO methods. :shifty

[CapeTownMommy]

We don't cosleep. We went through a few months where she'd end up in our bed for the second half of the night after nursing, but dh and I just don't sleep when she's in our bed, and nowadays neither does she (mommy = playtime!) I have felt very bad about this from an AP perspective, especially when I hear things like "being AP means breastfeeding and cosleeping" but I know that this is best for our little family.

[FaroeIslandBabes]

We don't cosleep. We went through a few months where she'd end up in our bed for the second half of the night after nursing, but dh and I just don't sleep when she's in our bed, and nowadays neither does she (mommy = playtime!) I have felt very bad about this from an AP perspective, especially when I hear things like "being AP means breastfeeding and cosleeping" but I know that this is best for our little family.


Dont feel bad about not co/sleeping...I dont think you have to cosleep to be a gentle christian mommy...Ive just recently learned about this term AP, Id never heard it before a couple of months ago *so obviously, Im new here. ;)(..but I have strived and prayed and struggled to be a gentle, patient and loving mommy to my babies...and its not right to put yourself or for anyone else to put you in a box labeled this or that...if we are living our lives for the Lord and really truely seeking Him, He will show us how to love our children the best way...cosleeping or not :heart

[FaroeIslandBabes]

Oh, one more thing! Jana is a doll! :bear