Preparing for the family bed

[joby'smom]

I am due in March. What do I need to do to change our bed into a family bed with a newborn? Any books or information that can be passed on will help us a ton. We only have a queen so it will be snug. Our room is too small to add anything to the side of the bed.

[Teacher Mom]

I remember reading a book from the library called Family Bed.

[joby'smom]

I remember reading a book from the library called Family Bed.


Thanks! I'll go look for it.

A.

[SweetMelissa]

Dr. Sears has a good checklist on his site: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070600.asp.
We have a bed rail on one side, and I keep the baby between myself and the rail. They don't take up any extra room, and are pretty cheap and easy to use. We also have a queen, and sometimes we end up with dh, the baby, the toddler, and myself all piled in. I know all about snug! ;)

[Yuliana]

Congrats. I am not married but I do have my 7 yr. old in the bed too. So it is 3 of us in a Queen size bed.

I sleep in the middle and I have a bed rail on the side of the baby.

Like this one http://www.safety1st.com/product/detail.asp?ID=586

[joby'smom]

My bedroom is so small that I can not use bed rails. The foot of my bed is a foot from the closet so I can't get on it down at the end. So I need the side open. The bed is against the wall. So, I will put the baby between me and the wall. I was told no pillows or comforters. How do you sleep? I need a blanket or something to cover up with even in the summer. Do you sleep with the newborn snuggled up to you or should you be an arms length apart?

[Linnis]

We got a couple snug fitting fitted sheets and DH and I already slept with our own blankets so DS sleeps in no blanket land in the middle. When he was 5 months we bought a Queen sized bed as our double was too small.

[Yuliana]

My bedroom is so small that I can not use bed rails. The foot of my bed is a foot from the closet so I can't get on it down at the end. So I need the side open. The bed is against the wall. So, I will put the baby between me and the wall. I was told no pillows or comforters. How do you sleep? I need a blanket or something to cover up with even in the summer. Do you sleep with the newborn snuggled up to you or should you be an arms length apart?


I have to cover myself too but I don't like comforters so I either use a blanket or a sheet. I share the blanket or sheet w/ the baby but my 7 yr. old gets his own.

Oh and since the beginning he sleeps attached to the boob or 5 in. away from it. We don't have space to be much further.

[joby'smom]

[quote=Alice Cage ]

Oh and since the beginning he sleeps attached to the boob or 5 in. away from it. We don't have space to be much further.


That is kinda what I figured. How many times a night did you nurse? Do you and the baby wake up for nursing together or did you just snuggle and let him nurse? This is just the tip of the iceberg of all my questions. :)

[Linnis]

In the beginning a newborn will nurse often, even as often as every 30 minutes or be attached for 30+ minutes at one time. As they get older they space out but many nurslings love to comfort nurse at night. My DS it took us 6-7 weeks to get nursing with me laying down, down, so I was getting up with the boppy every 2 hours. At 7 weeks I fell asleep and dropped him! :jawdrop He cried and cried and then I cried and cried so I only nursed laying down for a couple of days to work out all the laying down nursing kinks.

Now DS sleeps alone for 3-5 hours and nurses once when I come to bed and 1-4 more times after that but in between he rolls over on to his tummy and stretches out. Or I'll move him to the play pen so I can have some time to myself.

[Katigre]

I personally would not feel safe with a young baby sleeping between me and a wall - a bedrail is safer and doesn't take up extra space width-wise, and the safety-1st one is great - we love ours!

You can also try a snuggle nest when they are newborn.

[Heather Micaela]

I personally would not feel safe with a young baby sleeping between me and a wall
I know people say this all the time, but I have had more issues with sub-par bed rails. And my bed does not budge away from the wall even when I *try* to make it do so to change sheets. And nothing can fall in that crack.

I honestly do not get what the big deal is :shrug

[Yuliana]

What I like about that bed rail is that it does not move. When my lo wasn't walking yet he would stand on the bed while holding on to the bed rail and rock back and forth and that thing did not budge.

The bed rail I had w/ my first was horrible. He even once fell between the bed rail and the bed.

[simplegirl]

I second reading The Family Bed...it was awesome!

[Katigre]

I personally would not feel safe with a young baby sleeping between me and a wall
I know people say this all the time, but I have had more issues with sub-par bed rails.
For me, it is also the idea that a small baby could be pressed against the wall and not have sufficient airflow as well as the potential entrapment of limb issues. I know some bedrails aren't safe, but the Safety 1st one posted is really excellent b/c it sits on top of the mattress and has mesh for ventilation so even if a baby got pinned/stuck against it they could still have adequate airflow. We love ours.

http://www.nfistudios.com/StanfordProductImages/images/079.66225.GIF

[Punkie]

As far as the night nursing goes, kellymom has an article on "lactation yoga" :lol which is nursing from the top breast while lying down

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/basics/lactation-yoga.html

[HummusDip]

We put our mattress directly on the floor, without a box spring or a frame. It was hard because we had this big beautiful Indonesian hand carved sleigh bed, but it was best in the end for co sleeping and all that. In the beginning my dd slept in between my dh and I in something like this http://www.mypreciouskid.com/baby-sleep-pillow.html My dh and I used the same comforter, but we pulled the pillows about 6 inches or so from the end of the bed and had my dd up towards the top of the bed so the blanket didn't get on her at all.

When my dd got older we moved the bed to the wall and she slept on the side against the wall. That didn't last long because once she could crawl, she would crawl all over the bed at night, which was why I loved knowing our bed was only a few inches from the floor, because she did take many a tumbles, but thankfully she was never even hurt to the point of crying from those tumbles.

Here is a picture of our set up at the old house. It's basically the same now but when we moved here we pushed her full sized bed against the king, so we could have more room.
http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r92/CrunchyKat/MVC-005S-1.jpg

[Heather Micaela]

For me, it is also the idea that a small baby could be pressed against the wall and not have sufficient airflow as well as the potential entrapment of limb issues. I know some bedrails aren't safe, but the Safety 1st one posted is really excellent b/c it sits on top of the mattress and has mesh for ventilation so even if a baby got pinned/stuck against it they could still have adequate airflow. We love ours.
OK, I could see that. My babies have always slept on the cook of my arm and never moved until they would be mobile enough to move on thier own, so it has never been an issue. I have used that bedrail before, and it is great :yes, but I still dont like that it jips me of bad space. We have 5 people in one bed so those few inches is A LOT.

[joby'smom]

Thank you all for you input here. I will read the family bed. I also will read "kelly's" thread on breast feeding laying down. Here I thought it would be the same thing if not easier. Good grief do I have a lot to learn. I also have the number for my local Le leche league person and will give them a buzz today. Thank you!

[jenny_islander]

A bit of extra space is always good. We couldn't find a sidecar that fit between our bed and the wall, so DH built one. Have you ever seen those benches that have low arms and a back? It looks sort of like that. The body is an oblong box with one open end (into which we stuff extra bedding). The top of the box shape is where the mattress goes. It's designed so that Baby's mattress is exactly on a level with ours. There are solid wooden bumpers around three sides and the fourth faces my side of the bed.

Now that Eva is so big, she sort of sleeps half on it when she's in bed with us. If we put her in between us, she kicks DH all night long!

[joby'smom]

I remember reading a book from the library called Family Bed.


Does anyone know the author of this book? I just looked it up on Amazon and it $54 :hunh

[simplegirl]

last name Thevenin. I got it for under $10 on half.com.

[Teacher Mom]

$54 yowsa!

Did you look at the library? If I already suggested this, please forgive me. I just did a search at my library and they do not have it anymore. That was a few years back and the book seemed older. But I saw another one called:

Good nights: The Happy Parents Guide To The Family Bed And A Peaceful Night's Sleep by Jay Gorden

I would not spend $54 on a book about a family bed. There has to be more info on on the web somewhere to give you more info. I was already co-sleeping, but it gave me more confidence about my decision at the time being a new mom and going against the norm and all.

Or you can just continue to listen to other moms on here that believe in it.

[HummusDip]

How to nurse lying down:
http://www.mother-2-mother.com/tut-layingdown.htm

[joby'smom]

I just re-read the Amazon link. They only have one new copy of The Family Bed and I guess it is an autographed copy, yada, yada,yada. I personally could care less about anyone's autograph I just want to read the book.

Someone asked if I have checked the library. I am going to share something that should be a thread of it's own. I have major issues...I can't read books from the library or waiting rooms. :blush I need to buy them new. :shrug It's kinda a germ thing.

I'll check to see if the other books mentioned are available.

I am really not a total wacko. :/

[iburnbrownies]

We do partial co-sleeping now...meaning that we put baby M to sleep in her own crib (usually, unless she is nursing or upset or something) when we go to bed and then when she wakes up for her night feeding, then she comes with us and usually just stays there until morning. When she was brand new she slept in our bed all the time Our 4 yo still crawls in our bed too and very rarely our 6 yo will, so then it is musical beds around her :giggle as I don't feel safe with them and baby M in the bed.

You have already received some great advice here in PP but I just wanted to pop in and add that co-sleeping is one of the joys of parenting IMO -- dh and I already look ahead with sadness at the day that will inevitably come when nobody patters to our bed at 4 am anymore and no babies snuggle in to nurse.. :heart :heart...enjoy it with your little one!

[Teacher Mom]

I just wanted to pop in and add that co-sleeping is one of the joys of parenting IMO -- dh and I already look ahead with sadness at the day that will inevitably come when nobody patters to our bed at 4 am anymore and no babies snuggle in to nurse.. :heart :heart...enjoy it with your little one!


:heart :heart :happytears :happytears :yes :yes

[joby'smom]

We do partial co-sleeping now...meaning that we put baby M to sleep in her own crib (usually, unless she is nursing or upset or something) when we go to bed and then when she wakes up for her night feeding, then she comes with us and usually just stays there until morning. When she was brand new she slept in our bed all the time Our 4 yo still crawls in our bed too and very rarely our 6 yo will, so then it is musical beds around her :giggle as I don't feel safe with them and baby M in the bed.

You have already received some great advice here in PP but I just wanted to pop in and add that co-sleeping is one of the joys of parenting IMO -- dh and I already look ahead with sadness at the day that will inevitably come when nobody patters to our bed at 4 am anymore and no babies snuggle in to nurse.. :heart :heart...enjoy it with your little one!


Awe, thanks! I am really looking forward to motherhood. :heart

[simplegirl]

Someone asked if I have checked the library. I am going to share something that should be a thread of it's own. I have major issues...I can't read books from the library or waiting rooms. :blush I need to buy them new. :shrug It's kinda a germ thing.


ITU!! When I read that I immediately thought of that Seifeld episode. :giggle

[joby'smom]

Someone asked if I have checked the library. I am going to share something that should be a thread of it's own. I have major issues...I can't read books from the library or waiting rooms. :blush I need to buy them new. :shrug It's kinda a germ thing.


ITU!! When I read that I immediately thought of that Seifeld episode. :giggle



Goodness, if you knew me more you'd agree with me, that sometimes I think, my whole life is a Seinfeld episode. :giggle

[Teacher Mom]

I never saw that Seinfield, but have thought about that at times. Funny, that you can think you have seen every episode possible, but then one pops up you do not remember.

My love for books wins out though.