2.5 yo wakes hourly...help!

[simplegirl]

:nak2

i've already read through the stickys. N (2.5) has been sleeping in his crib, and getting up maybe once a night since february. for a couple weeks now he gets up hourly, screaming, and wants his back scratched to go back to sleep. we nightweaned but back-scratching has taken its place. dh tends to N b/c i'm in our bed with C (5 weeks). dh refuses to let N back in our bed, plus with newborn i know we shouldn't. dh refuses to cosleep with N in his room (there's a full bed) b/c he feels we'll only be backtracking. i'd sleep in N's room except I have C to tend to and I'm afraid he'd wake up N. I mentioned putting N's mattress on our floor so dh could tend to him faster in the night, thus them getting more sleep and he was opposed.

by the stickies, we're doing the right things so he'll sleep better. dh is really starting to be affected. are there any answers for this? is this a normal phase. N communicates well and we can reason well with him. any suggestions on phrases or words that N will "get" so he can understand? how do we wean from back scratching? i understand night-parenting, but dh doesn't so much. N has been sleeping well for months and now this. i feel like i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place...please help!!!

[Elwing]

How is he doing?

[BornFreeBaby]

It seems to me that N is having a hard time adjusting to his new sleeping place and needs some attention... and it sounds like N is feeling quite left out of the 'family room' because his place next to mommy is being taken. Is there anyway your DH would reconsider letting N back in bed to sleep? What about pushing his crib up to the side of the bed, or letting him camp out on the floor in a sleeping mat or bag? If DH is the one getting up, he may start to realize he will probably get better sleep if he lets down his guard a bit and let N back in bed. :hugheart

[ozmummy]

N is still so little. And he is adjusting to a huge change in family dynamic with the addition of your new little bubba.

I wonder if you would consider just relaxing in it for a few months. If N has a genuine need to be with you guys for a while, then let it happen. When the need is met, the demands will ease. He won't be in your bed when he's 18. And then you can gently wean him out again once he's become more used to being a big brother.

Childhood really is an escalating ride of forward and backward movement. What might be achieved one week will disappear the following week. But that's OK. Progress does happen, just on a bigger time scale than I am sometimes comfortable with. I find I deal with things better when I keep that realisation in the front of my mind. I am able to me more gracious and giving with my little ones.

I don't mean that you are not being kind and gracious with N. I just wanted to share some of my own journey with similar situations....

[simplegirl]

How is he doing?


Thanks for asking :). We've been sick for over a week now so sleeping arrangements have drastically changed. DH has been sleeping in the fullbed with N for a week now while I've been in our bed with C. It's so funny b/c DH says that he's slept better b/c of it :giggle. When we're all better I'm hoping that DH might stay in there for a little while. I personally don't think I want to cosleep with both, maybe if we had a king bed and there's no room for that. I don't mind moving his mattress to our floor but the crib wouldn't fit in our room. When we all get well again, I'll just have to see what happens.

[Elwing]

I'm glad you've gotten more sleep! I think it is very positive that your husband supports you by tending to N during the night. He's not letting him cry it out, but is reaching out to him. I think that is great.
:hug2

[BornFreeBaby]

Glad to hear DH is getting some sleep now. :giggle

The best place for children to sleep is wherever everyone gets the most rest. No matter where that may be and what anyone else thinks!

[simplegirl]

The best place for children to sleep is wherever everyone gets the most rest. No matter where that may be and what anyone else thinks!


ITA!!!

[prov3v5-6]

We have a similar situation at our house with ds3 and ds4 and dh. DH puts ds3 to bed, and usually falls asleep there too. When he does make it back to our bed he shares it with ds4 and me, since I'm breastfeeding. But ds3 wakes up periodically in the night and dh attends to him, usually falling asleep again in ds3's bed! DS3's nighttime weaning habit moved to a milk bottle which he asks for when he wakes up. We're still working on weaning him from this now :scratch

My sisters and mom are "concerned" that we aren't sleeping in our "assigned" beds, and "how are they going to learn to sleep alone!" It works for us - we all get sleep and that's all we care about.

We find that slowly ds3 is slowly waking less and requiring less interaction at night. We actually had 1 night where he slept by himself! Baby steps....