Safety Concerns with older child and new baby both co-sleeping in family bed

[iburnbrownies]

Hi -- a question -- we have a new baby (7 weeks) and she is the youngest of 4 children. Our next younest child, our son, is 4 and he goes to sleep in his own bed but climbs into our bed at about 5 each morning. Our baby also falls asleep in her own bed, but when she wakes up to eat at about 2 AM she stays in our bed until morning. I worry that our 4 year old might roll on her, so I usually move the baby back to her own bed when I notice him coming in -- sometimes if it is very early and he comes in, I ask him to go back to bed, which he usually doens't mind as long as I or my DH take him for a minute. I just don't want him to become jealous or resentful of the new baby, although that has not really happened. Any advice? Even safety tips for this specific situation? We usually end up sleeping with my husband on one end, then my 4 year old, then the baby, then me. Our older kids gave up the family bed between 4 and 5, so maybe he is almost ready for that? Just don't want to push him out before he is ready simply because we had a baby...thanks for your advice!

[blessedwithboys]

I put ds on the other side of dh when he comes to bed with us. So- it's ds1, dh, me, ds2. If that doesn't work can your dh go lie down in your ds's bed with him for just a few minutes till he falls asleep? That's an acceptable solution for our ds if coming to our bed doesn't work for some reason (illness, whatever).

[2sunshines]

I agree, the pp had some great suggestions. I wouldn't put him next to the baby. You're right to be concerned. Either have him cuddle with dad on the outside of the bed (dad can hold him on), or have dad go back to his room with him. Another option is to put a toddler bed or a mattress next to your bed for him to sleep on when he comes in. Sometimes when an older child came in in the night and we had no room in the bed, I'll tell him/her to go get his blanket and pillow and make a bed on the floor next to the bed. That worked sometimes.

[Soliloquy]

When Simon was a newborn, we had a bed rail on one side of the bed. Simon slept between me and the bedrail and Gracie slept between me and DH. It went like this:

bedrail
baby Simon
me
Gracie
DH

We slept this way for a long time until Simon got so big we barely fit. Then we put a twin bed next to our bed and Gracie sleep there, now (mostly :giggle).

I would remind your 4 y.o. that babies are fragile and he needs to sleep next to mom or dad.

[BeckaBlue]

I plan to just have my ds on the other side of me :shrug

[iburnbrownies]

Thanks for the advice! I think we'll try getting our DS to sleep on the other side of my DH so that the baby and I can still sleep side by side, but be safe. Our four year old is a big guy too...maybe we need a king sized bed!! :)

[2sunshines]

Oooh, a king sized bed is my dream. :yes If you can afford one and have the space, I say go for it. :tu Our queen bed is just not old enough to justify re-buying, but when it comes time to buy another bed, King is the way to go. :yes