What is your toddler's bedtime routine?

[SansSouci]

My 21 m/o does not go down to sleep well at all. I've FINALLY learned that he only needs 10 hours of sleep at night - b/c no matter what time he falls asleep, he's up 10 hours later. And I'm NOT a morning person, so I think a 9pm bedtime works okay (still gives DH and I a bit of time together, but also doesn't make me get up sooooo early in the morning - though 7am is still early in my book, but I'm telling myself this is only temporary).

I think one of the key reasons why ds doesn't go to sleep very well is a lack of routine. Many months ago, I resorted to driving him tos leep (out of desperation to find SOME way to get this kiddo to sleep at night). I think we've been doing this for almost a year. While I take DS for a drive, DH takes DD (4 y/o) and does a bedtime routine with her (get in pjs, brush teeth, read books, fall asleep - yes, he falls asleep in her room, and I wake him up to come to bed eventually in our room).

When I've tried reading DS books in bed, he just thinks it's playtime... and he's not capable of letting me read to him (he wants to flip-flip-flip, new book, flip, new book, flip-flip-flip, etc.). It's really frustrating. When I try to lay with him on his bed, he gets mad b/c he knows what I'm trying to do (get him to know it's bedtime, help him relax, help him fall asleep), and he flips out and screams and tries to leave the room.

When we watch a calming nighttime show on TV, he just wants to play with toys.

He's NOT a snuggler (never has been), so he does not enjoy sitting on my lap for relaxing or calming down.

So... I'm looking for suggestions on a bedtime routine. I'm wondering if I just need to MAKE a bedtime routine happen. Ugh. I feel like I've tried everything, but at the same time I feel like I haven't tried enough. I'm just so tired of this lousy game of trying to get him to go to sleep. If I don't drive him to sleep, it takes HOURS to get him to sleep at home. I'm just so tired of it. Please help! :heart

[Close2MyHeart]

I'd read to him, play with him, lay him down and sing to him. Does he still nurse? Maybe you could change his routine around a bit to make it easier for you. Bath, teeth, story, bed.

[illinoismommy]

bath (on days that we're doing bath)
teeth
jammies/pullup
read story
he turns on night light
read story
he turns off big light
tuck in....

The end.

Oh wait then there is "mommy I need help" or "mommy I need tuck in again" and sometimes I spend some time going from him to baby to put paci in, to him, to baby.... :rolleyes

[MtnMama]

If it helps any at all, I have a 21 month old and she recently had a very sudden shift of going to bed... and not a shift to an easier setting, either. Perhaps some of this is age related? :shrug I typically blame everything on molars... I suspect I still will when she's in her teens (then it could be wisdom teeth, LOL).

Anyway, after a few months of not wanting the sling, I'm back to using it.

here's our routine:
book
brusth teeth
book
lights off
if she settles (which doesn't happen lately, but in theory), it's all gravy.
if she wiggles and jiggles, I tell her she has 5 minutes to go to sleep without the sling, but if she's still not able to settle, then I'll need to help her by putting her in the sling. She doesn't like the sling -- she'll say, "no, no mommy." But the sling helps her fall asleep, so I use it!

I've reread Your One-Year-Old since it has 21 month specifics in it and I've learned that this is a month that children often have a hard time -- testing boundaries and whatnot. I think that Lily is having a hard time finding external boundaries and her own internal boundaries, so a sling helps pull her in so she can get quiet enough to go to sleep. Anyway, without sling, go to sleep takes 2 hours... with sling, it takes 35 minutes. Still a long time (includes bookreading), but once sling hits, we're talking 10 minutes, tops.

[Katigre]

DS is 18 months. He too needs about 12 hours of sleep total per day and takes a 2 hour nap, which means his bedtime is later (9-10pm, he slees until 8am :rockon). Once he drops his nap i think his bedtime will shift back earlier.

Anyway, our routine is pretty simple:
Change diaper
Brush Teeth
Go to bed (we cosleep)
Read books (not always, depends on if he needs more winding down time)
Turn off light and nurse to sleep (he falls asleep within 5 minutes)

I try to keep the lights dim in the house in the evening to help his body recognize that it will be time for sleep. We have had this routine for awhile now - at least 6 months - so he is familiar with it and knows what to expect.