What do you do when they won't sleep?

[TuneMyHeart]

Do you keep trying to get them to sleep until they do? Do you let them play, and then put them back down when they're showing tired signs? We usually keep trying and trying, but after 2-3 hours of us taking turns trying to get her down, we're both so frustrated. Just wondering what others do.

[Marielle]

just make things really boring. My second surprised me by not needing to comfort nurse as much when he needs to go to sleep but then he wants to get up and play. I just usually look at him and tell him that he doesn't have to nurse but he does have to go to sleep and he gives up. Usually out within a few minutes.

With my first we rocked and rocked and rocked. I was rocking him to sleep (and nursing, he was a BIG comfort nurser) well into his 2nd year, pregnancy and all. We would turn down the lights, turn on some soft music and I'd get to him sleep then gently transfer him to our bed. As he got older and I had his brother hubby would put him to bed by laying with him and reading. To this day that is his nighttime routine.

[Can Dance]

this is what I am doing, pulling out all the stops. going to sleep in the evenings isn't the problem right now. she is doing this brutal middle of the night wake up thing for two hours. its awful. so I went to the store and bought: chamomile and lavender and hylands nighttime sleeping stuff. AND rescue remedy. I have white noise going. I just lay there, I have mostly night weaned her except one feeding, and lay beside her on another bed while she is in her crib. she sleeps better in her crib. I would happily nurse her back to sleep, but she doesn't go back to sleep.
what time are you putting her to bed? what kind of a routine do you have?

[CapeTownMommy]

Can Dance, I cant tell you what a relief it is to hear of someone else struggling with the 2-4am playtime thing! It's driving me nuts! Let me know if something works for you. Right now I'm keeping LO awake, she usually has a nap at 3pm and today she stayed awake until 5:30 and then I reckoned if I let her sleep from 5:30 she's just going to struggle with sleep again tonight. So she's now been awake for almost 6 hours straight (close to her record time) and hopefully she'll go down easily and (more importantly) stay down!

She also sleeps in her crib, that way we all get some sleep. She often transfers to our bed during the night, but that depends... last night she was wide awake from 1am to about 2:45, we tried EVERYTHING to get her to sleep, eventually just put her down between us and let her play until she fell asleep on her own. In the past I have gotten up with her and watched TV while she crawls and plays for an hour or two until she's tired again. Sleep deprivation seems to be the norm in our house nowadays...

To answer the OP's question, we rock her, nurse her, sing to her, put her in bed with us, cuddle her, and do whatever else will help to get her to sleep. If none of that works, we let her play until she's tired again.

[TuneMyHeart]

just make things really boring.

How do you make things boring? I don't see how it can get more boring than us laying down with her, trying (and praying ;)) for her to go to sleep!

what time are you putting her to bed? what kind of a routine do you have?

Normally, bath starts about 7 pm. It's flexible though; if she's really tired, we may try to put her down earlier; if she's not, we'll play or run around outside for a little while. After dinner, she gets a bath, then nursing, and I lay her down in her crib. Once in a blue moon, she'll nurse to sleep, but usually not. If she cries after I lay her down, one of us will go lay with her or try to rock her to sleep. But it's taking so long to get her to sleep, that we don't know if we should give up, or let her play. She's obviously tired, but just won't sleep. She's not getting anywhere close to enough sleep right now, so she's probably overtired. She's cutting molars (been doing that for a while though), and we have several more to go. :tired When she wakes up after we've gone to bed, we put her in our bed. If we're awake when she's done nursing, sometimes we put her back in her crib. She usually ends up spending the rest of the night in our bed though.

Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night and won't go back to sleep for a couple hours. Those nights are rough. :hug2 But not as bad as when she screams all night (when she's cutting a tooth). :(

[Can Dance]

among all of the other things I suggested, I also might add leaving the room and saying you'll be coming back. she isn't a tiny baby that you are letting scream. I have had to do that with my 14 month old and really when I look back on it one reason she stays awake is because she wants to talk to me. so I tell her I will be back and I do come back. you know your child, if that will only put her into hysterics then it won't work. if however, she is staying up because she wants to "hang out" then I might try leaving the room for a brief period and coming back. do what you said you would and come back. but I might do that 5 minute thing just to see if she is staying awake because of you.

[Marielle]

when my husband first started putting down my oldest it was a battle of galactic proportions. He would lay there and stew in his brain while my oldest did his best to stay awake. I suggested to my husband to take a book to read and just veg with the full knowledge that the first few weeks it would take Ian a while to go to sleep. Sure enough his time needed to fall asleep started to decrease when he realized my husband would wait him out. Also I think before he was picking up on my husband's anxiousness while he waited for Ian to go to sleep. I've found that for me knitting works best. Super boring for him, and the clicking of the needles puts me to sleep sometimes and I'm the one doing the knitting so I'm sure it works a bit on him too. :lol

Also, when we head to bed I make sure that it's bedtime. I don't allow for getting up to play but that's because despite being spirited he is pretty tired by his bedtime. So I just don't let play become an option at that time of the day.

[4thekids]

Sometimes I let him play. Sometimes I keep working with him. It just depends. I can usually tell if he will go to sleep. If it is obvious that he won't then I don't waste the time trying. :shrug Right at this moment he is playing with cat toys (that cats have never played with he just likes them better than most baby toys :giggle ) and watching a movie :O while I relax and enjoy the computer. It would just stress us both out if I tried to get him to sleep.

[TuneMyHeart]

I thought of something tonight. :idea

The last week or so, she's developed major separation anxiety. It just came out of nowhere, and she can't stand for me to be out of her sight. Tonight, after putting her down, she got fussy and started crying after about 10 minutes, so my DH went in and laid next to her. 45 minutes later, he came out of her room, obviously frustrated. She started crying a few minutes later, so I went in and took her to our bed. She nursed right to sleep. :shrug I normally nurse her in the office or the nursery, then lay her down in her crib. Maybe she just wants to be in our bed right now.

Marielle, ITA about her sensing our anxiousness for her to fall asleep. That's why I have to lay her down; rocking her doesn't really work right now. She won't let me read while I nurse or hold her either; she's too distracted and wants to tear my book or magazine instead of nursing to sleep. :lol

[HomeWithMyBabies]

When it's obvious he's not interested in sleep I just let him play. For my little one, many times that means he has to poop and needs some big muscle movement to help things along. :giggle Afterwards he usually goes back to sleep.