Anyone Co sleep with Mom but not Dad?

[Lilly_of the_ Fields]

My DH would love to continue co sleeping with our 13 mo DS2 (DS1 moved into his own bed and room @ 3 and loves it) but his sleeping (DH's not DS2's) has been increasingly disturbed recently as he has an inherited endocrine disorder and suffers periodically from chronic pain/anxiety/wakefulness, especially at times of stress. Well...he's stressed to the eyeballs at the moment and his health is rotten. He goes back to his specialist in a few weeks, but in the meantime he really needs to sleep. He wakes with even the slightest movement (mine or DS2's). He'll even do it "in his sleep" (which sounds odd, but I have actually observed him holding his breath (like he's hypervigilant) when he's still sleeping! :cry He's offered to sleep elsewhere, but I've been thinking of me and bubs moving out instead...I'm thinking of popping a matress of DS1's floor for DS2 and I to share and DS1 if he feels like joining us, LOL). I'm just wondering if anyone has a "kids with mom but not dad" co-sleeping arrangement and how that's working?

Oh, and your prayers for DH's health would be truly appreciated. :heart

[flowermama]

{{hugs}} I will pray for your dh's health. :pray4

Anyway, as for your question, yes, DS and I sleep together at least part of the night, but not with DH. My DH works odd hours, and he doesn't get enough sleep which is not good for his health, has troubles with insonmia, and such, and he gets much more and better sleep if he sleeps alone. Anyway, it works all right for us. :-) :hug2

[Marsha]

my dh has a form of chronic fatigue syndrome and it is characterized by needing more sleep, but having an inability to sleep. Difficulty with sound sleep, too.
Anyway, he moved out of our room when dd2 was about one year old. Yes, I COULD train dd2 to sleep alone, I think, but rightnow she still nurses half the night. And dd1 (who is 5) still sleeps half the night with me about half the nights.
Four in a bed is too much when one of them is dh. If we had a king, I'd love if we all just slept together. But we don't, and our room is really too small for one, so dh sleeps in the "spare/Riley's " room in a twin bed by himself.
He dislikes it, but not enough to help me do anything about it. And I would need help to take 5 yo back to her bed each time until she learns to stay in it if I was also dealing with 2 yo learning to sleep alone. So we do nothing.
It doesn't bother me too much really. It's less stressful than worrying that the kids are disturbing him and having him be all grumpy about it.

[HomeWithMyBabies]

When we were cosleeping full time we had occasions where Dh or I would move somewhere and ds would sleep just with me. For example there was one time where Dh injured himself at work, and was taking some heavy duty pain medication. It wasn't safe at that point so I moved with baby to a mattress in the nursery.

[luvinmykidz]

I sleep with the two kiddos and DH sleeps in the other room....but we are all happy with the way we do it :)

[AmyWA]

My DH NEEDS his sleep so what we did with my DD when she was little was got a twin bed and pushed it up next to our big bed. DD and I would sleep in the big bed and DH would sleep in the twin. That way he wasn't disturbed by the wiggling or woken up by feet in his back, but we all "felt" like we still slept in the same bed. It was awesome! And definately a great alternative to having someone move out of the bedroom. With my DS it wasn't a problem because he kicked himself out of our bed at 5 months (right when he started the wiggling stage - but not because of that). Anyway, maybe that is a solution for you.

[Mother of Sons]

We sleep separately for the first 6 months of each baby because my husband has to get up sooooooooo early for work and he wakes up at all the night noises too. After around 6 months he doesn't wake up as much.

[Ima LeShalosh]

The only advice I can offer is that you might want to consider a mattress on the floor of your room instead of DS1 because you don't want to break the cycle of him being in his own room, in his own bed. Also, it keeps you in the room with your DH...even if you are not in bed with him, you would still have the intimacy of sharing a room with him.

[~yogamom~]

my dd actually co-sleeps with my dh in the master bedroom and i sleep by myself in my dd's room. odd, i know, but i moved out for a couple nights while we nightweaned her at 19 months and i got such great sleep that i haven't moved back in! ;) i think i am actually a lighter sleeper having had a baby in bed with us, so i really appreciate having a bed and room to myself-- my dh snores too, so it's great to get away from that and if his snoring wakes my dd up (very rare), he's the one to get her back to sleep.

[Granola_mom]

That would be this house.....momma and the boys but not the daddy!! We began co-sleeping from the beginning...on a double sized futon, we kept the futon until I became preggo with Ds#2. We then upgraded to a King sized, super-comfy bed. HORRAY!! We all thought it would work (co-sleeping in this particular bed) for everyone, Preggo momma, Ds#1, 100Lb black lab, and daddy......Until daddy gained 100 more lbs. himself...(he's says it was sympathy weight when I was pregnant) So baby came, dog got kicked out, and daddy won't sleep in there anymore....... :yes2 We bought bunk beds for the boys and on a usual night he puts older to bed in top bunk and I put younger with me in the king sized bed, hopelessly waiting for him to come in :scratch. I really don't know why he won't sleep in the bed with me and the younger....he says he's not comfy.... :shrug, but...honestly how much room does he need....they don't make em' any bigger than king! He and I really need to have a talk about it, cause I really don't know if he has co-sleeping issues, we never really discussed it.
For instance, If he brings the boys in our room, (to watch a show before bed or something) and the boys both fall asleep in the bed with him and I come in later, he'll get up and go in the other room to sleep...no matter how much room he has.... I want to put the younger in the bunk soon...He would love having his own personal bed in his room. So I don't know, it works but I miss my man to snuggle with!!!!

[Joyce]

DH sleeps alone in a queen sized bed. I sleep part of the night with DS in his twin size bed and part of the night on the floor next to the twin size bed. Sometimes I get an hour or so in the queen size bed. We're not really happy with the arrangement, but DS wakes up so many times during the night and DH snores so loudly it seems the only thing I can do right now.

My DH was never really comfy with DS in bed with us. He was always afraid of rolling over on the little guy. Later, DH was always getting kicked by the little guy. Then he claimed that he just want his wife back, which hasn't happened in the way he has hoped either. Oh well.

[mooseymama]

That's us! It started slowly...Kevin would move part way through the night to the other room when things got a little "hairy" and one day he just went to bed there. It really works well for us. I put the kids down at 8:00 (3 yo in his own bed, but in my room. 18 mo in the kind bed) then DH and I have 2-3 hours before we go to bed. Then we go to the guest room and cuddle for a while, then around 12 (or when 18 month old wakes) I move to the kind size bed. It is actually creating a more rested happier DH in our house, and we are really only missing about 6 hours of sleeping apart, and we were never night time cuddlers-so no big deal!

[ReedleBeetle]

We sleep together until the baby comes to our bed and then DH moves to the living room and Isaac and I share our bed....but DH works midnights 5 days a week, so that isn't many nights we are even in the bed together at all. LOL

[Firebird Rising]

DS starts the night out on the ground on a mat next to our bed. He goes to bed at around 8:30.

DH goes to bed around 10:00 and he goes to bed in our king-size bed.

I go to bed anywhere between 1am and 4am and at that time, either DS and I sleep in the king with DH or we go to the office and sleep on the futon (depends on what's going on in our life at the time and how everyone's feeling and how restless DH is)

When DH goes to bed, I often go in and snuggle with him for half an hour or so to say goodnight.

Jen D.

[HEmomma]

Yep, here too. Dh has to have the tv on to sleep and I have to have quiet or only white noise, so he sleeps on the couch. He's always done that, even before kids. All the kids start out in there own beds, but Squish wakes up and I put him in bed with me and Goosie usually comes in at some point. Bunny normally stays in his bed, but he joins us for a snuggle in the morning.

[Lilly_of the_ Fields]

Just wanted to thank you for your replies. I shared them with DH and he decided to move the bed base into the basement and put our queen size on the floor, like a traditional Japanese futon (ie no legs) and then we put a single next to that and moved the whole thing flush against the wall. So now, when DS2 wakes up (I'm still putting him down in his own cot in DS1's bedroom as that is closer to the lounge/family room where we are of an evening and getting over the whole fear of addiction re rocking, cuddling, feeding him to sleep when I do...) I bring him into our 'beds', with the single there so DS2 and can sleep there if DH is restless (and also meaning I can roll over to snuggle with DH during the night ;) And then DS1 rocks in early in the morning too. It's working really well! And...a pleasant bi-product is that DS2 is sleeping for longer both at night and during the day and both boys bedtimes and naptimes are more or less synchronised. I even managed to put DS2 down in his cot wide awake without him becoming upset last night :hunh he just smiled at me and drifted off. :heart

[Ima LeShalosh]

:tu good deal! Glad you guys found something that works for ALL of you!!!!