Three-child family dynamics

[illinoismommy]

Just a weird question.... in 3 child families, is one child usually left out of the loner? Can 3 get along decently well and play well on their own? Or is it just like in playdates and 3 is a bad number :think

[JavaMama]

It's been fine for us... actually, they do tend to play in twos but that's generally because one of them chose to play quietly solo (ds builds his Thomas wooden railway while dd1 and dd2 play together or dd1 goes to sing and play in her room or dd2 rolls/throws her ball around the room by herself).

I've personally always wanted four just because I'm not super keen on odd numbers but that's not really a reason to have a 4th child I guess. :lol

I would guess that age gap, temperment and interests would affect their play more than how many siblings... but of course ours are young so I can't say for sure. :shrug

[Katigre]

I grew up in a 3 child family, and we played together a lot when we were younger and it worked fine. I like having two siblings now that i'm older - and would have been glad to have a few more too.

[mom2threegirls]

I grew up in a three child family and have three myself... I never really felt like their was a loner of the three of us growing up. I did feel left out occasionally when my brother and sister would do something together (and I'm sure they felt that way when I did something with one of them and not the other!). I'm the middle child and was buddies with both of them and did feel like the "peacemaker" often :shrug. I think my sister did feel left out sometimes because my brother and I were closer in age (we're 1 1/2 years apart, and I'm 3 1/2 years older than my sister) and would do stuff as teens together a lot that she couldn't do. Now as an adult, though, I'm best friends with my sister and don't talk to my brother much :shrug :think. With my own three kids, one of them is never left out as a loner :no. If they all want to play along then they do. Often two of them will want to play something and the 3rd won't but it's her own choice not to play and she's always welcome to join in if she changes her mind. We too have had a problem with 3 kids of similar ages in playdates- one of them is ALWAYS left out (usually my middle DD :( we don't tend to do the 3 kid playdates anymore) but with siblings I think they dynamics are different. They grow up with eachother and get a LOT of practice learning to get along! :smile I'm sure it will get harder as my three get older but so far we haven't had any issues with this at all.

[Allison]

Mine are still very young, so I'm sure yet. However, even though they are all approximately two years apart (the olders are 25 months apart, the middle and youngest are 28 months apart) the older two have had more time to bond and learn how to play with each other. I worry that the baby will get left out by the time the older two are 7 and 5.

[The Tickle Momster]

I am one of 3 and we always picked on my younger sister. We'll probably have 4 cause I don't think 3 is a good #. Just my personal opinion.

[Laurlor]

Three has been great for us. I feel like when two aren't getting along, they just regroup. Having the third has really helped dynamics in our family...it gave the older two something else besides each other to focus on. Plus they both LOVE the third, so he's their common ground.

[greenjellysnakes]

I grew up in a family of three and turned out fine :) There were times when two of us would play together and the other would play alone, but it was always changing as to who the two were. Over time it all evened out, and none of us ever felt left out.

[momaich]

I grew up as the only girl with 2 younger brothers. I definitely felt left out, but I think that was a parenting mistake that incurred that problem. I have 3 myself and it's a bit difficult keeping harmony to tell the truth, but I don't see anyone developing as a loner, though my 9 year old does like to read by himself more often now. I also care for my nephew during the week and so have 4 kids on weekdays. They are all roughly 3 years apart, 9,6,4 and 1. I'm interested to see how their relationships develop as the baby ages.

[Heather Micaela]

I can already tell that three is turning out to be a HUGE blessing. My middle child is very high needs and wants someone to play with her at all times. My oldest adores his sister, but needs time alone. Now that my baby can actually sort of play, dd does not pester my ds to death, but instead goes amd plays with the baby.

My older two are the best of freinds but I see them being pretty inclusive. I suppose there could be a chance on or the other could be left out - but I am not done having kids (in fact ds informed me I am not done until he gets a brother :giggle) so I am not worried about it. I am more worried about not getting time alone than feeling left out.

[WanderingJuniper]

We have 3 and it isn't so bad. Bird often wants to be left out, she likes to play alone. Pirate gets left out because he's a boy but that is rare. Seems that Bear is working out her idea of gender roles and I get to work overtime keeping her thinking balanced about them. I think if they were further apart in age it would probably be a bigger issue but since there is only 3 years between oldest and youngest it is working out. I imagine it is a little different in families with 3 of the same gender.

[illinoismommy]

Thanks for all the replies, we had originally said 4 but now we are thinking 3 might be just the right fit for our family and situation :)

But we are not sure enough that we will make it permanent.... who knows maybe later we will change our mind

[GodChick]

:nak

dh is one of three, and when they were younger, they did tend to play more in twos, but now that they are grown, they are all three really close and are always doing little things to help each other out--help fix a car or a computer, lend the use of a pickup truck, help each other move house, etc. dh loves his brothers and thinks three was a perfect fit for his family. so it definetly can be a good number. :)

[purplerose]

I have 3 and I think it's perfect. :yes All 3 of my kids play great together and rarely does one get left out. I grew up in a family of 4 and there was still always one who got picked on. :shrug