Spinoff: what do you consider the "cons" of homeschooling?

[tempus vernum]

At the moment, I see only sunshine and rainbows ;)

[tempus vernum]

PS please don't bash. I am more referring to when you are considering HS or other options - what do you list as your "cons"?

[heidisue]

the last thread where those of us who aren't homeschooling were accused of throwing our kids to the wolves has me a little gun shy. i prefer to keep the targets far from my head...or heart.

[abbiroads]

:think

[Leslie]

Living on one income is a con to consider. It does present some sacrifices. We're at a point where dh is working two jobs, we're down to one vehicle (and it's about to die), stove/fridge/other things are breaking - and we can't afford to replace them. One son is thinking about college and will probably need his own room and a vehicle to get to and from . . . we're seeing big expenses looming before us and no foreseeable way out if I continue to stay home and homeschool.

[allisonintx]

My house is a wreck, umm, because we are here all the time.

When my kids were in school I had time to run errands and have peaceful time. I don't have that, but I traded for a lot of other cool things.

Oh, yea, and my MIL has recently decided that she needs to test my girls to make sure that they are on-target with the state scope and sequence even though I told her what we are doing is SO different from that because I disagree with it. That's a 'con' in my book.

Our home is 'repurposed' so it doesn't look neatly decorated because the family room is more functional as a project room.

[HuggaBuggaMommy]

At this point, my only *con* is having to plan all my ds's social interactions. We don't live in a neighborhood where ds can just go out and play. So, there's a lot of driving and planning play dates and finding ways for ds to socialize. (He is an only child - if he had siblings, I'm not sure this would be as big an issue).

[J3K]

Most cons on my list I found were selfish.

The only remaining con in our life is people who bash homeschoolers. Publicly and loudly when you tell them you are homeschoolers.

The ones who do it in front of your kids are even worse.

[RubySlippers]

:think

That's a hard question because it goes both ways....

If a con is that you are home with them...well, it's also a plus to be home with them. :D
If a con is that you don't take time to pursue your own interests...then you include/teach your children those interests. Examples are that I take my girls hiking with me, and they do similar crafting projects as me if they share that interest. :D
If a con is that the house is a mess...well, it's also a blessing to have them help out. :D
If a con is that you have less money....well, you don't make much more (I didn't) with them in daycare or private school. You'd really have to put them in public school to possibly make more money...and then you have other issues to tackle.

I'm really finding myself very, very grateful and humbled that God has allowed me to educate our children. I could have a very big, serious rant about the things that the public school system is NOT teaching our kids in just the area of history.
So, if the con is that I have to teach my children...then the plus is that I also get to teach my children. :D

[Singingmom]

The house definitely has a lived in/worked in/played in/schooled in look to it. I don't think that's truly a con, but there are moments where it makes me want to pull my hair out.

My boys are together a *lot*, and while I'm grateful for the fact that they're best friends, they can really get on each other's nerves. I don't think that would be as much of a problem if they were apart all day and only together in the late afternoon/evening. That's not what I want for our family, but it's hard that they don't have a little more space.

[teamommy]

I only see the sunshine and rainbows now, too. :)

But, my children are still very young. Concerns for 3-4 years down the road, in whether we continue on this journey:

Fewer opportunities for socialization with other children, especially those from diverse backgrounds. (Please don't bash me. I know this might not be true for everyone, but for our family right now, it is). For us this is more important when the children get older.

Fewer opportunities for participating in the arts and electives in a group setting, with talented teachers. Children's choir is an example (my church doesn't have a regular one). Foreign language is available in elementary schools here, but not available now as homeschoolers.

And, I don't know how to put this one...there can be a bit of a stigma to being a homeschooler. Although not as much as there used to be, because there are more and more homeschoolers all the time. There are plenty of people who see it as odd. While I can handle this, I do wonder if it will be hard on my kids at some point.

[tempus vernum]

the last thread where those of us who aren't homeschooling were accused of throwing our kids to the wolves has me a little gun shy. i prefer to keep the targets far from my head...or heart.


:hug I didn't see that thread and am sorry you were hurt :hug

Thank you for all the thoughts.

It's not really all sunshine and rainbows around here all the time :shifty Today was HORRENDOUS actually cuz AF is so so bad I was yelling half the day. But overall we are happy homeschooling and never did a pro/con list honestly. It was just a natural decision for us that stemmed from what we felt God wanted for our family. That's why I was curious.

[Mother of Sons]

When my kids were in school I had time to run errands and have peaceful time.

This is my biggest right now. Every once in awhile my husband is home and I can take and go browse shops or run errands. Or even when I am home, the house is so quiet and I can putter and do what I want. I really really really enjoy that and sometimes I think PS sounds really good so I could have more of it.

It's a big time commitment.

[Maggie]

Jodi, I had to grin and laugh when I opened this thread and read your first post! :mrgreen :heart

Hmmm...cons of homeschooling? Can't really think of any. :shrug :grin

[tempus vernum]

Jodi, I had to grin and laugh when I opened this thread and read your first post! :mrgreen :heart


:giggle Notice the wink at the end of sunshines and rainbows. :giggle I guess I am looking for the cons that don't go away after a bad day, ya know?

[Maggie]

Oh, sorry. :O :hug I have PMS and was yelling all day today, too. :(

[Mama Calidad]

My CON list isn't long, but there is one significant one on there. I end up talking with other hs-ers and end up over at CBD with $182 worth of stuff in my cart. It's Amie's fault this time, but wont' be long before someone else here will be responsible. :glasses

[Mamatoto]

not sure I want to say this anymore :shifty

[ServingGod]

For me it is that my dh works so much and many days is gone from 8am till 10pm. I get very burnt out sometimes, even doing the bare minimum. That tends to color my perspective on most things....Im tired and overwhelmed and been the sole parent for a few days on end...and I still have to push myself to get out with the kdis, create the social interaction they need, etc.

[Gentle Journey]

Living on one income is a con to consider. It does present some sacrifices. We're at a point where dh is working two jobs, we're down to one vehicle (and it's about to die), stove/fridge/other things are breaking - and we can't afford to replace them. One son is thinking about college and will probably need his own room and a vehicle to get to and from . . . we're seeing big expenses looming before us and no foreseeable way out if I continue to stay home and homeschool.


Wouldn't it be better to have your son pay for his own college than to become a WOHM and put your kids in PS if you dont want them there?

I'd be a SAHM even if I wasn't going to HS cause I think kids need a parent when they get home, to be there if they need to come home and I like being a keeper at home.

[greenskittle]

My biggest con that I foresee is that DD really loves the concept of school. Though she is only 2 and a half, she plays school a lot. She even has to do her homework. :giggle She is very outgoing, and social. I worry that she will be bored at home and possibly a little over whelming for her very introverted little sister.

BUT I'm still going to try. :grin I see soooooo many pros that it is silly for me not to try, even with my worries in the back of my head. :yes

[The Tickle Momster]

A con for me is not being able to attend our church's women's bible study since my kids are too old for the childcare provided. And too young to be left alone in a different room.

[AmyDoll]

Here's what's holding me back from *committing to homeschooling* The classrooms! All of that dedicated *stuff* - all ds's size, the good materials, the already developed (tired & true??) curriculum, the order of it all. I'm such a :crazy I'm not sure I could recreate that at home. Technically we should have the space - our house isn't teeny - but I don't want to give up one of my rooms - our rooms are already functional. But I would want a school area - well, and at a minimum I would need a place to put supplies.
At this point, we just live our lives & have our days, I'm afraid "school" would need to be more organized, more dedicated, more scheduled.

[This Busy Mom]

My only con is that it's difficult dealing with my oldest's issues sometimes, but I know it would be more of a problem at school.

[Leslie]

Wouldn't it be better to have your son pay for his own college than to become a WOHM and put your kids in PS if you dont want them there?


He'll have to get scholarships/loans. Me going to work will be a last resort, but this is the first time we've come to a point where we started discussing that option. And, in the context of this thread, that's one of the cons that has to be considered and planned for.


I'd be a SAHM even if I wasn't going to HS cause I think kids need a parent when they get home, to be there if they need to come home and I like being a keeper at home.


I agree - but I also understand (now more than ever!) how finances can influence that kind of decision. I imagine that, in some families, the stress on the husband could affect his health and the marriage. And then it becomes a choice between your husband/marriage or your kids - which do you choose?

[LittleSweetPeas]

Cons? Well, these are the things that I see as drawbacks but not sure if they are cons:

1. not being able to return to work (ironically, as a teacher)
2. not having time to "myself" during the day...or ever?
3. the cost
4. the time commitment involved
5. the cost and time factor involved in giving kids extra-curricular activities to make up for being home all day
6. negative comments and having to explain myself
7. my performance issues when it comes to wanting the best and to doing it all
8. very real concerns about how HS will impact their ability to attend 4 year colleges/universities
9. concern over whether they will be able to adequately function in a 4 year college classroom
10. concern over my kids not "looking" like others socially (you know that "weird homeschooler" label)
11. how I am going to teach higher level math and science :nails

My DD would tell you her biggest concern (at age 4) is:
1. not ever riding in a big yellow school bus

Somehow she doesnt get that mama would drive her to school anyway. She assumes everyone gets picked up in a yellow school bus! :laughtears

[Leslie]

8. very real concerns about how HS will impact their ability to attend 4 year colleges/universities


From what I've seen, this isn't an issue anymore. Colleges want to see your SAT/ACT scores, they don't eliminate people who homeschool. As it's been explained to me as we're looking at colleges, they look at ACT/SAT scores first, then transcripts, if they look at those at all.


11. how I am going to teach higher level math and science


Video programs and tutoring!

[erinee]

I'll answer, since our kids will probably be schooling at home next year, and if the virtual schools don't happen I will probably homeschool Zach anyway.

The only con for me is not having the feedback from teachers and having people who can help me strategize. Of course, those things aren't needed so much when he's at home, because we don't have problems. But he still has problems with other kids when he's at church or Cub Scouts. He just doesn't fit in very well.

So now the school has had a strategies team meeting and will be doing cognitive testing and BASC tests, and they have a plan that I am actually pretty excited about. Even though I *know* he's not going back to that school, some of the things they have planned for the remainder of the year are things I know Zach will enjoy.

They are also testing him for the G/T program, and I hate for him to miss out on the opportunities that could present. But then I realize that homeschooling has plenty of opportunities of its own.

It's also that dh will always be not *quite* on board. He would like our kids to go to school and be "normal." He knows that school may not be the best place for Zach, and he's willing to leave that up to me, but there's always going to be that aspect of him that wishes Zach would just be able to go to school like every other kid. I can't quite explain his reasoning, and I can provide answers to all of that, but there's just a part of dh that will never be really *excited* about homeschooling. That's hard for me.

The virtual charter schools provide answers to a whole lot of that, but there is no guarantee they'll be able to open. If they don't, I will probably homeschool Zach, and what we do with Megan partly depends on what school system we end up moving into. That may not make any sense to anyone here, but it's sort of our way of trusting God with this decision that dh & I both waffle on so much.

[Teacher Mom]

none

[jghomeschooler]

:yes :yes :yes :yes :yes :yes

Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything; tell God your needs and don't forget to thank Him for His answers.
Phil 4:6 from the sig above
Cons? None, none at all.


ETA:
Phil.4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

I praise God that I am able to homeschool my children, that He blessed me with the knowledge that I can and should homeschool my children. I don't think of any cons, and honestly when I tried to think of a con to post in reply, they all had much better positives as a result of said "con".

[erinee]

:yes :yes :yes :yes :yes :yes

Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything; tell God your needs and don't forget to thank Him for His answers.
Phil 4:6 from the sig above
Cons? None, none at all.


ETA:
Phil.4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

I praise God that I am able to homeschool my children, that He blessed me with the knowledge that I can and should homeschool my children. I don't think of any cons, and honestly when I tried to think of a con to post in reply, they all had much better positives as a result of said "con".


I envy you. I wish I could be more sure of what I want -- either way. I wish I could fully embrace public schooling, for that matter, since it's what my dh wants and would make life a whole lot easier for all of us. If my dh fully embraced homeschooling, I'd have no problem with doing it, but that's not going to happen. He won't stand in my way if I choose to do it, but he won't be excited about it, either. Life would be so much easier if I could just know exactly what I want to do, exactly what's best for my kids, exactly what God wants me to do. I'm not the least bit sure of any of that when it comes to the school decision. :( It's been the biggest thorn in my side since Zach started school. Whatever we end up doing, I'm always going to be sad about what could have been had we went the other way. That's just how it is with me. :(

[Mamatoto]

ETA:
Phil.4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

I praise God that I am able to homeschool my children, that He blessed me with the knowledge that I can and should homeschool my children. I don't think of any cons, and honestly when I tried to think of a con to post in reply, they all had much better positives as a result of said "con".

I think it is great that you feel that way, but I also think it is good to talk about things that are struggles, too. :shrug I don't think that is denying all the wonderful great things about homeschooling to admit that there are struggles. That verse sort of feels like a rebuke. :shifty Maybe I misunderstood the intent of the thread, which I thought was to share honestly in each other's struggles. :think

ETA: I think I must have misunderstood this thread...I am not sure what thread this spun off from....I'm feeling confused. :scratch

[Leslie]

[I think it is great that you feel that way, but I also think it is good to talk about things that are struggles, too. :shrug I don't think that is denying all the wonderful great things about homeschooling to admit that there are struggles.


Every decision has pros and cons - sacrifice in some way. For instance, if you choose to eat your cake, you can't have it, too. :lol In any big decision, they say it's a good idea to list the pros and cons and weigh them as you make the final decision. It's even Biblical - it's called "counting the cost." I assumed that's what the original poster was asking for - what kinds of things to list in the "cons" column.

[jghomeschooler]

I envy you. I wish I could be more sure of what I want -- either way. I wish I could fully embrace public schooling, for that matter, since it's what my dh wants and would make life a whole lot easier for all of us. If my dh fully embraced homeschooling, I'd have no problem with doing it, but that's not going to happen. He won't stand in my way if I choose to do it, but he won't be excited about it, either. Life would be so much easier if I could just know exactly what I want to do, exactly what's best for my kids, exactly what God wants me to do. I'm not the least bit sure of any of that when it comes to the school decision. It's been the biggest thorn in my side since Zach started school. Whatever we end up doing, I'm always going to be sad about what could have been had we went the other way. That's just how it is with me.

:heart :heart I was just sharing my opinion, as others have shared theirs. :scratch It always seems to irritate people when I share mine, and/or evoke defensiveness among others. :shifty That's not my intent. :shrug
You said that no matter what choice you make, you'll ALWAYS be sad about "what could have been" if you chose the other option. Why is that? :think It seems to me that is a choice you are making, choosing to think of what you could be missing out on, instead of embracing what IS and enjoying what you have. I do not mean that to be snarky, it's just an observation.
In everything we do in this world, we have to make decisions. That takes decisiveness that some are not yet ready for. ITU that. If you don't make a decision though, that's also a "decision", am I making sense? You can choose to doubt yourself, think of yourself as inadequate, and think of things your not good at. OR, you can choose to feel confident that God will provide what you/your family needs if/when you need it, and choose to believe in yourself, believe that you are capable of accomplishing the goal you have chosen. It's not something you have no control over. (at least in most cases).
Phil 4:13 :heart

:heart disclaimer: all of my words were typed with love, kindness, and gentleness. any negative assumptions are just plain wrong. remember ladies, to assume positive intent. :heart
:mrgreen

[illinoismommy]

Sigh.... well I am definitely discouraged by what I have seen on this thread in the way of how people behave.... what is the point of popping on a thread to say "well I am not posting on this thread" anyway. Really. Ok now that I have gotten that off my chest let me get to what *I* see are the cons of homeschooling.... even though I am more excited about the pros! :cool

1. You have to make a more concentrated effort to make sure your children have peers/friends, and make playdates, etc, while if you send your children to school they are surrounded by potential friends all the time... lets face it that makes it easier. (yes even though there are also mean people)

2. Mom doesn't get to run errands, clean the house, cook, and recharge during school hours ...... :shifty

3. The cost, loss of my income for many more years to come

Cool. We should make a thread on the pros too.....

[jghomeschooler]

:shrug :shrug :shrug :shrug :shrug :hunh :hunh :hunh :hunh :hunh :hunh :hunh :hunh :hunh

[jghomeschooler]

I think it is great that you feel that way, but I also think it is good to talk about things that are struggles, too. I don't think that is denying all the wonderful great things about homeschooling to admit that there are struggles. That verse sort of feels like a rebuke. Maybe I misunderstood the intent of the thread, which I thought was to share honestly in each other's struggles.

ETA: I think I must have misunderstood this thread...I am not sure what thread this spun off from....I'm feeling confused.
Since you quoted me, I'll reply.
:think :think
I didn't say that. I just posted MY opinion, and a verse regarding my opinion- kinda showing WHY *I* don't think about or focus on the negatives. You get more of what you focus on.
The thread asked what you consider to be a con of homeschooling, so I posted that I don't consider anything to be a con of homeschooling.

[jghomeschooler]

Sigh.... well I am definitely discouraged by what I have seen on this thread in the way of how people behave.... what is the point of popping on a thread to say "well I am not posting on this thread" anyway. Really.
The point of anyone replying to any post is to share their view/opinion. I haven't seen anyone say "well I am not posting on this thread". :scratch I've just seen posts. I wonder if you are specifying the few posts which have stated they see no cons. :think I also wonder if you are specifying my post, and my "behavior". :jawdrop
I am confused.

[marathonmom]

I agree with what has been posted re:cons, and wanted to add, for me, that I miss doing volunteer work. I really wanted to
help with the MOPS in our church, but my kids were too old for MOPS and too young to volunteer, so it wasn't possible.

We struggle with finances too. I'm trying to find something I can do from at home.

[erinee]

I was just sharing my opinion, as others have shared theirs. It always seems to irritate people when I share mine, and/or evoke defensiveness among others. That's not my intent.

Er, did I sound irritated? :scratch I didn't mean to, because I wasn't the least bit irritated. I'm really very perplexed that you thought that, but there must have been something about my post that was off-putting. I'm sorry about that. I truly do wish I could be as convicted as you are. That's something I don't like very much about *myself* -- it has nothing to do with you, really. This has been a really hard decision for me, because I do see some good in being in the public school system. If I sounded defensive, I wasn't -- I just really do wish I shared your conviction, one way or the other, and could make a decision. I'm just talking through this, because we're right smack dab in the middle of trying to decide what to do next year. THe one thing we know for sure is that neither of our kids will be going to *this* school. But we're putting our house on the market so we can move. We've decided we're going to get the best house we can and not worry about the school district -- but if we end up in a certain school district, it will make the decision very hard. If we end up in a poor one, or in the same one we're in now, it'll make it much easier.

I agree with everything you said -- although all of those same things could be said if we choose to keep him in public school (when I've talked with my Christian public schooling friends, they've quoted some of the same verses you did :giggle). I agree that I need to just make a choice and live with it once and for all. That's what I'm in the process of trying to do right now, and I'm fairly certain I've chosen homeschooling next year, at least for our son, with or without the virtual charter school. The one thing I have no control over is my dh, and not having unity is a *huge* con, IMO. And yet, he says he won't stand in my way, so I will probably just do it and pray that eventually he'll see such good things coming out of it that he'll get fully on board.

And if that sounds irritated, well, I'm not. Except maybe with myself. And my dh. And with the school. And with stoopit legislators who want to keep a great option that would make all of this so much easier from being available to me. :giggle

[illinoismommy]

Sigh.... well I am definitely discouraged by what I have seen on this thread in the way of how people behave.... what is the point of popping on a thread to say "well I am not posting on this thread" anyway. Really.
The point of anyone replying to any post is to share their view/opinion. I haven't seen anyone say "well I am not posting on this thread". :scratch


Well I did, it went something like "I got hurt on the other thread so I am not posting here" :hunh

[jghomeschooler]

Stoooopit mouse! ARGH!!!!!!!!! Can't copy and paste, so no quote here, :banghead
Erinee, no you didn't sound irritated, but I had read two replies and the combination of yours and the other sounded a weeeee tiny bit possibly :giggle defensive and I thought that mayhaps you/she might be irritated, but you didn't sound irritated. :heart

[jghomeschooler]

Well I did, it went something like "I got hurt on the other thread so I am not posting here" :hunh

Um, :giggle I'm REALLY confused now. What behavior is it that you are discouraged by? :scratch

(and PTL my mouse is working again!!)

[Teacher Mom]

The thread asked what you consider to be a con of homeschooling, so I posted that I don't consider anything to be a con of homeschooling.


:yes :yes :yes

I did not mean to upset anyone. "I" answered the OP honestly. What do you consider the "cons" of homeschooling?

"I" do not have anything on the "cons" side of the chart. I am thankful for the opportunity and the blessing to be able to do this. I was not posting to say "I am not posting". I posted "my" answer to the OP question.

That's all. No offense meant.

[Gentle Journey]

Wouldn't it be better to have your son pay for his own college than to become a WOHM and put your kids in PS if you dont want them there?


He'll have to get scholarships/loans. Me going to work will be a last resort, but this is the first time we've come to a point where we started discussing that option. And, in the context of this thread, that's one of the cons that has to be considered and planned for.


I'd be a SAHM even if I wasn't going to HS cause I think kids need a parent when they get home, to be there if they need to come home and I like being a keeper at home.


I agree - but I also understand (now more than ever!) how finances can influence that kind of decision. I imagine that, in some families, the stress on the husband could affect his health and the marriage. And then it becomes a choice between your husband/marriage or your kids - which do you choose?


Well, DH is in school right now. We'd never dream of asking his parents. When my DH was in university and living at home, he drove over an hour to school each day and worked weekends to pay for his school. You have to do what works best for your family, but I have no intention of paying for my kid's school.

[jghomeschooler]

Well I did, it went something like "I got hurt on the other thread so I am not posting here" :hunh
Um, I'm REALLY confused now. What behavior is it that you are discouraged by?

(and PTL my mouse is working again!!)

Nevermind, I *get* it now. I thought were saying that YOU said "I got hurt on the other thread..." LOL. Now I understand you were saying that someone ELSE said that, and that YOU saw them say that, NOT that YOU said it. No longer confused. :giggle

[Littledisciples]

Ok I will tell you right now

Trying to divide the attention between both the kids.
Not having the money to get the ciriculem I would love to have.
Not having the money to get my visualy impared DD special things.
Not having the time to clean my house.
Always being critized for not having them in school and people asking if their socialized. My kids are the most social people ever.
I feel guilty couse I never get a break and want one so bad. Then I feel bad couse if I think public school con of not being around them.
Not being able to drive and take them places. Of course most people don't encounter that but it puts a damper on a lot of things I would love to do.

[Leslie]

Well, DH is in school right now. We'd never dream of asking his parents. When my DH was in university and living at home, he drove over an hour to school each day and worked weekends to pay for his school. You have to do what works best for your family, but I have no intention of paying for my kid's school.


Paying for my kid's school isn't an option. We couldn't even hope to afford it. But, yes, I wish I could. What can I say? For years and years I alway said, "parents don't owe their kids a college education. If a child wants/needs higher education, he can figure out how to finance it himself" So now I'm having second thoughts, at least for one son in a specific circumstance. :shrug At any rate, paying for his college isn't something we can even consider, so how I feel about it is a moot point.

The "con" of living on one income is something that needs considering - however, when one option comes out clearly ahead, you can often find creative ways of working around the cons. The "con" of negative peer pressure on the public school side of the list can be dealt with by heavy parental involvement and limits. The "con" of living on one income can have its own creative solutions, too. We can't afford to pay for school, but we're trying to accomodate by providing a private room for him so he doesn't have the added expense of a dorm or apartment. It's good to list the pros and cons, but in the final analysis, if something is important to you, you'll usually find a way to work with the cons.

[J3K]

Not having the money to get the ciriculem I would love to have.
Not having the money to get my visualy impared DD special things.


I really understand that , and I realize we are all listing our PERSONAL cons , those things that popped up on our INDIVIDUAL lists...but I wanted to address the two cons from Joy.

You wouldn't necessarily have the money if the kids were in school either.

I spent more on stuff the year my son was in public kindy than I spent on a curriculum/necessities/paraphenalia for all three kids hs'ing all last year.

The public system will nickel and dime you to death. Correction , sorry ... MY public system , the one *I* live in , nickels and dimes you to death. Special shoes for the gym floor , special class t shirt , everyone chip in $3 for the class pizza party on Friday , money for school photos , money for a field trip , seventy five cents to get a treat from the library , school clothes , etc... We spent over a thousand dollars the year our son was in kindy. Backpacks ,notebooks , pencils , crayons , paint ,tissues for the classroom ,snacks for when I was homeroom mom , babysitter money to watch the other kids while I acting as hr mom , etc...

The moms I knew who worked and had kids in daycare and in public school were in far worse shape financially than I felt we were. They were running twice as fast as well.

[Marsha]

I don't technically homeschool yet, but I can see the cons for me right now! They are:

never ever any time to myself....I found that I was looking forward to thinking of my high needs oldest being gone for a few hours EVERY DAY

not having any money....I could always look forward to a little pt job when both kids were in school and now I can't

not being able to do things at church like Bible study or volunteer work....yes, I know some things I can bring the kids with and it's good for them, but one reason I like to volunteer is to do something BESIDES being a mom

finding an appropriate group for me and my oldest....so far I can find mainstream friends becaue all our children are young....it's going to be hard as she gets older....a lot of hs groups around here are seriously "religous" and conservative fundy types OR pagan/wiccan. I have one friend who hs and she is Episcopalian and she doesn't fit in either "camp" either. We may have to start our own group.

[2TMama]

While I agree w/ many of the previous posters' "cons", it doesn't make me seriously entertain the alternatives for the upcoming year ;)

I *do* think it's good to get these things out in the open...........to brainstorm about ways to alleviate some of these "cons" :yes

I get tired of monotony......but w/ some forethought I can do things to help w/ it.

I get tired of feeling so tied down to having to get our lessons done....but once they're out of the way we can move on to other things :)

I get tired of feeling like I don't have "me time"......but when I wake up before them I can do just that (PLUS an occasional few hours when dh or grandparents make it possible for me)

I get tired of coveting THE curriculum out there that is either a) too pricey or b) to time/teacher-intensive...but I've learned to be more creative and think outside of the box and change things up....and work at finding what it is that appeals to me about certain curriculum....and trying to work that into what we're doing (also growing in CONTENTMENT ;) )

I get tired of thinking about the "extra" money we'd have if we sent the kids to public school and I was working more...........but then realize that even though it could sometimes feel like a "sacrifice", there would be different expenses associated w/ public school and in the end, it's really not a worthwhile trade-off in our book (sending dc off to school and working more for a bigger paycheck).

It's been a humbling and "stretching" experience for our family. It's helped put a lot of things into perspective. :heart

[tempus vernum]

I *do* think it's good to get these things out in the open...........to brainstorm about ways to alleviate some of these "cons"

Yes, exactly :yes That is what I was hoping for and for the most part I am glad to see it. Not to focus on the cons but to work them out.

One thing that made me REALLY curious about this is for us none of the cons are serious. So I was curious what others are that "make it or break it". The cons for us are all things we can live with or work out. And each one has at least one negative aspect to it sometimes more.

For example: living on one income long term. On the contrary, if we lived on two incomes, I wouldn't be available to our children after school and during school hours if they were ill - this is important to us even if we end up sending our children to school someday. AND we would be a in a higher tax bracket lowering dh's salary.

[This Busy Mom]

I'll be more serious about our cons:

Having four kids at home with me 24/7 is a lot of stress.

My house isn't as clean as either dh or I would like and he's gone most of the time (but it still wouldn't be as tidy as we both would like with the kids at school... but it wouldn't get as messy, either.

I can't help dh as much as he really needs with his business. i suppose some people would think I'm neglecting my duties there... I was homeschooling before he started doing this. I'm also not ready to leave the baby with anyone and she's too fussy to take her with me rightnow.

[erinee]

One thing that made me REALLY curious about this is for us none of the cons are serious. So I was curious what others are that "make it or break it".

For me, the one make-it-or-break-it con is not having dh fully on board. But I'm really considering going through with it anyway, at least for Zachary. I feel we've given public school our best shot, and even if we move to a "better" school system, I'm so afraid it won't be any better for him. I don't want to waste one more year of his childhood trying to see if he would do better in a better school when I am confident that homeschooling works. There are still some cons, but as you've said, none of those are make-it-or-break-it, especially if we have our VCS.

[RubySlippers]

For me, the one make-it-or-break-it con is not having dh fully on board. But I'm really considering going through with it anyway, at least for Zachary. I feel we've given public school our best shot, and even if we move to a "better" school system, I'm so afraid it won't be any better for him. I don't want to waste one more year of his childhood trying to see if he would do better in a better school when I am confident that homeschooling works. There are still some cons, but as you've said, none of those are make-it-or-break-it, especially if we have our VCS.

Erin, a husband's attitude can change. :)
My husband had a "we'll see, I'm not sure" attitude toward homeschooling before we tried it.
Tbh, I wasn't even sure that I could handle it. ;)
Homeschooling transformed us. My husband is now (and has been for years) fully on board and would not want our children educated in any other way.
I just want to encourage you that being fully on board (which is different than being set against it) is not a requirement, sometimes "fully on board" comes later and is a blessing. :hug :heart

[marathonmom]

Another con that struck me today -

The extracurriculars.

I remember really enjoying band and choir when I was in school. I tried out track and drama too (wasn't good at either). My brother
was an excellent debater.

I really want to give my children these opportunities. My oldest plays violin and will be in string orchestra. They do team sports through our city rec.

But there is no way that we can give them the plethora of activities that they would have in school - we don't have the finances
to pay for all of these activities.

Hairdo may take band next year - the band director in the elementary schools is a Christian homeschool dad and sometimes
hs'ers take band as an adjunct. And yes, I do know that we could do all of these activities adjunct if we worked with the
system, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that being a homeschooler.

I think of this bec. I went to a band/choir concert today for one of Violin's friends. The concert was not at all what I would
wish for my kids - 5 bands, 3 choirs, a whole lot of people and not very personal. But what I remember about band in the small town
where I grew up is a lot more meaningful to me.

[Singingmom]

For me, the one make-it-or-break-it con is not having dh fully on board. But I'm really considering going through with it anyway, at least for Zachary. I feel we've given public school our best shot, and even if we move to a "better" school system, I'm so afraid it won't be any better for him. I don't want to waste one more year of his childhood trying to see if he would do better in a better school when I am confident that homeschooling works. There are still some cons, but as you've said, none of those are make-it-or-break-it, especially if we have our VCS.

Erin, a husband's attitude can change. :)
My husband had a "we'll see, I'm not sure" attitude toward homeschooling before we tried it.
Tbh, I wasn't even sure that I could handle it. ;)
Homeschooling transformed us. My husband is now (and has been for years) fully on board and would not want our children educated in any other way.
I just want to encourage you that being fully on board (which is different than being set against it) is not a requirement, sometimes "fully on board" comes later and is a blessing. :hug :heart


:yes I was thinking the same thing. My dh allowed it in the beginning, but had quite a few reservations. Over the years he has become more and more convinced that this is a good thing.

[Littledisciples]

Another con that struck me today -

The extracurriculars.

I remember really enjoying band and choir when I was in school. I tried out track and drama too (wasn't good at either). My brother
was an excellent debater.

I really want to give my children these opportunities. My oldest plays violin and will be in string orchestra. They do team sports through our city rec.

But there is no way that we can give them the plethora of activities that they would have in school - we don't have the finances
to pay for all of these activities.

Hairdo may take band next year - the band director in the elementary schools is a Christian homeschool dad and sometimes
hs'ers take band as an adjunct. And yes, I do know that we could do all of these activities adjunct if we worked with the
system, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that being a homeschooler.

I think of this bec. I went to a band/choir concert today for one of Violin's friends. The concert was not at all what I would
wish for my kids - 5 bands, 3 choirs, a whole lot of people and not very personal. But what I remember about band in the small town
where I grew up is a lot more meaningful to me.


That is one nice thing about our state at that age they can take only those classes in public school. Our state has duel enrollment so our kids can go both home school and public. So they can take all the extra stuff at middle and high school ages but still being doing most their eduction at home. Even going to the prom would not need be missed.I think growing up in public school myself I often think of things they will miss out on too.

[Soliloquy]

Granted we are just starting out on our unschooling journey (Gracie is only 3) but for right now I'm 100% thrilled about it.

When she was a baby and before we had kids DH wanted me to homeschool and I said :no. I wanted that time to myself during the day. I also wanted to keep a clean house and make all kinds of great meals, plus pursue my own interests. Then it dawned on me that I can do these things w/ my kids, that seeing their mom do all of these things and joining in is the best kind of "education" they could get. Unschooling won't hold me back--it will help us all move forward.

There's quite a few homeschoolers that I know so I'm not concerned about the stigma--not now, anyway. Sometimes I do think about some of the things they will miss by not being in school--but, there are things they would miss if they were in school. If they want to pursue music or sports they can do that w/o school programs. Our city has quite a few opportunities for that.

[musicmommy]

Hm...this has made for some interesting reading this afternoon. For us homeschooling was a huge decision. I used to be a public school teacher and was completely anti-homeschooling and somehow, we found our way here. For me, many of the cons are also pros.

Con - grocery shopping is much more of a chore with 3 boys in tow. Pro - my children are learning how to shop and behavior (Although I still have the days I wish they could just stay home.)

Con - the boys sometimes spend way too much time together Pro - they are becoming each other's best friend.

I could go on, but I don't think that is what you are looking for.

For me personally, the biggest con is my fear that I might end up short changing them on their education. That somehow I'm going to overlook something really important and not realize it until it is too late. I guess that is why I'm such a curriculum junkie and love to research. Also the fact that I have nothing to really judge my children's abilities by. I know that part of the reason we homeschool is that I teach for mastery of a concept and yet I'm just never sure if the boys are where they should be. I look at my 7 yo handwriting and think it is atrocious, but when I've had some teacher friends over and they see it, the comment on how great it is. So then I question if I'm being to hard on him or what. But those come out of my own insecurities. I also feel like I'm under a microscope by family that make comments about how it's ok for me to homeschool since I used to be a teacher. Um...I was a music teacher not a "regular" teacher. Or having mil living with us and making little comments that seem to show she is just waiting for us to fail. But again, those bring up my own insecurities.

Hopefully I've made just a little sense...

[icesmom3]

I know for our family one of the cons is the lack of time the boys get to spend with friends....my oldest often complains about not getting time with friends. Over the past couple of months he hasn't mentioned it but has in the past. We live in a very rural area so we don't have any friends next door...except Gramma&Grampa ;)
On the flip side of that....my boys are each others best friend...although they probably wouldn't admit to it :giggle

[SueQ]

The cons for me:

A very lived in looking house. With maps on the living room wall and school items here and there. This is also a pro as my children are picking up the things, using them and always learning but sometimes it would be nice to have a house that looks like everyone else's. :giggle

My 2nd and 3rd are so much alike in personality and they are fighting a lot. If the two oldest were in PS I would get a break from the fighting and they would get a break from each other. BUT they are learning from this. They are learning how to get along with others who get on your nerves. Though sometimes I feel like picking up the phone and enrolling them after a day of constant fighting. :giggle Then the next day they are buddy/buddy and I am glad that I didn't. :mrgreen :heart

I feel like I am always behind and often think that if my children would go to PS I would have time to catch up on the things that I am behind in. BUT talking to my friends with children in PS I see that isn't the case. They stil are always behind on things.

Friends outside the family. We don't have any neighbor children the ages of my boys so we have to drive to do things with children their ages or wait until homeschool support group meetings. BUT they learn to get along with people of *all* age groups and they are each other's best friends.

For me I notice that parts of the cons are also pros which is why I am homeschooling. :giggle

Oh one big con, my mom is worried that the boys are *behind* their peers. If they were in PS if she worried about that she could blame it on the school not on homeschooling. :giggle

Someone mentioned grocery shopping earlier. Ever since #4 was born, dh does the majority of it because I learned that #2 and #3 often start fighting in the grocery store because they are bored, tired, and getting on each other's nerves. :rolleyes

[BornFreeBaby]

Granted we are just starting out on our unschooling journey (Gracie is only 3) but for right now I'm 100% thrilled about it.

Then it dawned on me that I can do these things w/ my kids, that seeing their mom do all of these things and joining in is the best kind of "education" they could get. Unschooling won't hold me back--it will help us all move forward.



I agree and I have the same excitement. I admire my midwife who homeschools in the morning hours and sees her clients after that. Sometimes she brought her daughter to the maternity center. :heart She was very positive that she could make a living and homeschool because the hours of 'school' can be what she decides.

[tempus vernum]

This thread has been exciting to me :tu because I haven't seen anything in here I am unaware of or that has dragged us down :rockon It's an encouragement to me and hope that it's encouraging to others.

Of course, we are only just beginning (eldest is almost 7) and are VERY relaxed so ....

If anyone wants to discuss a particular con and how to "overcome" or at least cope, I'd love to do that, here or in another thread :hug