Amythestmama
01-21-2007, 03:47 PM
:praise I finally had the opportunity to talk to dh about not spanking! We had previously agreed that spanking shouldn't be overused, should only be for Big misbehaviors. Since then, I had come here and was learning more. He just brushed off my words with "We were spanked and we're OK" when I'd talk about it. But today while dd and I were at church, (dh was sick so he stayed home and kept ds since it was cold and snowing), he read an article in the newspaper about a bill to outlaw spanking in California. He thought it was rather silly but decided to go to the anti-spank websites that were listed with the article. He was a bit surprised by what he found. Anyway, when I got home, he was ready to talk about it and not brush me off so easily. I was able to share with him why spanking isn't getting at *why* the child is acting that particular way. I used the examples of the way his/our parents used spanking: something happened and nobody did it, so everyone was spanked until someone admitted to it. This would temporarily stop the spanking and then you'd be spanked again for 'lying' and then again for the 'crime'. I asked what that taught him. He said it just made him mad. I also explained how spanking a child for actions/attitudes that we ourselves as parents sometimes have is ridiculous.