Fixing to leave to see my family again...

[hink4687]

So I'm off to visit my family for christmas. My sister is very punitive and my parents tend to follow her lead because they live in the same town and see her and her kids every day. I get a lot of flack for not spanking and they seem to think because of that I am permissive (which I really strive to not be!). Here's my vent from thanksgiving if you want to see what I'm talking about:
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/mb/index.php?topic=88211.0

Any advise on how I can stand my ground and make this a positive experience? I hate it because I love my sister and parents so much and we've never ran into a major disagreement like this before. My sister and I have always been best friends and we are just totally opposite parents and it hurts me to watch how she raises her kids. I just wish there was some way I could be a positive influence on her but being we don't see each other very often now that we've moved away its just hard. Please pray for me that we have a good trip and somehow make an influence on her!

[CelticJourney]

Can you simply say "last visit we got into a very uncomfortable discussion about personal parenting choices. I want our visit to be positive, so I hope we can agree to disagree and simply enjoy our visit together".

[hink4687]

Well the discussions aren't the issue as much as how bad we clash. Like for example...all the kids were sitting at the dinner table waiting for food to be served. Maggie, my sister's almost 3 year old starts hitting her fork on the table. Cooper, my son laughs and follows suit and does the same thing. So I told Cooper, we don't hit the table with our fork, and I grabbed a pan that wasn't being use and took him out of his seat and put him on the floor and said, lets hit the pan instead. Its like a drum! We play with our pots and pans this way a lot at home. My sister freaked out! She said I'm teaching her kids bad examples by allowing Cooper to do this. And watching her spank her daughter for things like forgetting to say "may I be excused" from the table (she's not even three yet for crying out loud!) just break my heart to watch. :bheart I just hate it so much because I love them all so dearly. Just pray for some reason she'll suddenly have a huge change of heart!!!

[heartofjoy]

:hugheart Ugh! that's so hard to deal with. I have the opposite problem with some of my ILs. They tend to be very permissive. They let their kids have whatever they want. So I am the one telling my kids, "no, you may not have another soda. Or please walk in the house. Go outside to run." while they are letting their kids do whatever. Sometimes all you can do is pray. I hope your sister does have a change of heart!

:pray

[klpmommy]

:hug2

[Jemma2]

:pray2