Titus2Momof4
11-21-2006, 07:10 PM
I've begun a debate about spanking with a group of conservative women :shifty. Well, I'm off to scope out Crystal's articles again about specific verses, because that is where we are at now. For some reason, I can sit down and read some deep stuff about verses, etc, and totally understand it and be in agreement about it at the time, bible in hand - but when asked about it later, I only have "surface" answers. I need the deep stuff now. LOL
What is funny is that when I first began posting here again, I simply was not going to spank for the most part. Then it turned to not spanking at all. And now has turned to my being a proponent for not spanking. The good thing, though, is that when engaging in these types of conversations, it's actually *good* for me (especially me, who has fallen off the track before), because it helps solidfy to me why I believe in something. For instance, I remember telling these ladies (who refer to "biblical disicpline"=spanking) that the Bible tells us to discipline (teach) our kids, and that spanking is not *teaching* anything. It is behaviorism (thinking back to when I was a Psych major - now I'm Sociology, btw) plain and simple :shrug. Pain being inflicted does not *teach* a child anything. This reminds me of those electronic dog collars. Sorry that is gory, but is true. The dog isn't learning anything - he's merely learning not to go past that tree or else ZAP. My argument was further helped by a woman who said she did spank her kids, and to this day she sees a kid having a "fit" in the store and thinks why not just spank that child. I said that I would see the child as having a meltdown and think, "maybe he's hungry, maybe he's tired, maybe he's been dragged around all day, or, maybe the parents have taught him that this method of screaming is profitable (parents fault)". But THEN- this same lady said that if she could do it over, she would NOT spank. Why? Because she saw over the years the *anger* and resentment that built up in her kids' eyes towards her, particularly in the later years. I am sorry that she dealt with that, but yes yes yes that is what I was *always* SO afraid of with spanking!!
What is funny is that when I first began posting here again, I simply was not going to spank for the most part. Then it turned to not spanking at all. And now has turned to my being a proponent for not spanking. The good thing, though, is that when engaging in these types of conversations, it's actually *good* for me (especially me, who has fallen off the track before), because it helps solidfy to me why I believe in something. For instance, I remember telling these ladies (who refer to "biblical disicpline"=spanking) that the Bible tells us to discipline (teach) our kids, and that spanking is not *teaching* anything. It is behaviorism (thinking back to when I was a Psych major - now I'm Sociology, btw) plain and simple :shrug. Pain being inflicted does not *teach* a child anything. This reminds me of those electronic dog collars. Sorry that is gory, but is true. The dog isn't learning anything - he's merely learning not to go past that tree or else ZAP. My argument was further helped by a woman who said she did spank her kids, and to this day she sees a kid having a "fit" in the store and thinks why not just spank that child. I said that I would see the child as having a meltdown and think, "maybe he's hungry, maybe he's tired, maybe he's been dragged around all day, or, maybe the parents have taught him that this method of screaming is profitable (parents fault)". But THEN- this same lady said that if she could do it over, she would NOT spank. Why? Because she saw over the years the *anger* and resentment that built up in her kids' eyes towards her, particularly in the later years. I am sorry that she dealt with that, but yes yes yes that is what I was *always* SO afraid of with spanking!!