Mother implementing babywise with 2nd child

[Learninggentleness]

A woman from my church gave birth to her second child a few weeks ago. I recently asked her how she was doing with the adjustment to two children and she said, "Well, it's harder because there's two of them. But, Babywise is less traumatic the second time around."

I didn't know if she was in a "postpartum" state and would have a hard time with anyone questioning her ways of parenting right now (this is usually a fragile period, the newborn stage), so I didn't say anything that would go against babywise. I just kind of sunk inside though. :bheart

Since I used Prep for Parenting with my first child (and *not* my second child), I understood what she meant by "traumatic." Ugh. :no2

[MarynMunchkins]

:(

Can you introduce her to a sling? It makes life easier with a baby no matter what, and I think it introduces a lot of people to the concept of gentler parenting.

[mom2threePKs]

If you've used the materials you are in a perfect position to laugh gently and say something like, "Oh my! I remember how I thought everything I did that went against Gary Ezzo's gospel was going to ruin my child. Isn't it nice to have a little experience to weed out he scare tactics from the helpful hints." Now honestly, I don't think BW has many helpful hints but it puts you on her team with experience and opens the door for conversation. When I hear people talking about BW it makes my face flush, my pulse go up and my blood pressure rise so that gentle laugh I recommend is an academy award winning performance!

:hug I know how hard that is!

Magan

[Titus2Momof4]

If you've used the materials you are in a perfect position to laugh gently and say something like, "Oh my! I remember how I thought everything I did that went against Gary Ezzo's gospel was going to ruin my child. Isn't it nice to have a little experience to weed out he scare tactics from the helpful hints." Now honestly, I don't think BW has many helpful hints but it puts you on her team with experience and opens the door for conversation. When I hear people talking about BW it makes my face flush, my pulse go up and my blood pressure rise so that gentle laugh I recommend is an academy award winning performance!

:hug I know how hard that is!

Magan


LOL!

Ditto this, and you can tell your friend that you know someone who implemented BW (sort of..) with her 4th child. I've said before how I never really stuck with it (I haphazardly tried to do scheduling, but that was the only thing we really took from BW2, and even that didn't work), and I agree- do the gentle "laugh" and the "oh gosh, you aren't really doing *that* are you?!" thing....and talk about how having 2 kids is much easier when you aren't trying to do it w/in the confines of Ezzo/scheudling, etc. Inform her that *routines* work much much better, for those (like me) who tend to be 'schedule oriented' by nature. A routine is awesome- let's you have all the things you would have on a schedule (NOT an Ezzo schedule that includes roomtime, structured play time, etc, rather a normal routine).... but w/o the confines of *times* for everything. . .

[MamaEm]

I guess I don't understand if it was so traumatic for her the first time why she would do it again? Oh boy you have your work cut out for you. :hug2 Hope you can help her out.

[Titus2Momof4]

I'm guessing she feels like she "has" to (the friend)?

[Learninggentleness]

I guess I don't understand if it was so traumatic for her the first time why she would do it again?


Well, I think there is the initial "trauma" but then it seems to work well for the whole family - mom has time to herself, child *seems* happy (that's been my personal experience and I've watched it with others). So, there is this hard period at the beginning and then once everything is in place, everything works out fine. I've lived this, so I know the mentality. :bheart It wasn't until I was pregnant with my second child that I allowed myself to *consider* the other way...anything along the lines of attachment parenting.

[TulipMama]

Often, we Babywise moms have so totally bought into the BW sales pitch of "it works" that we are blinded to the ways it is NOT working in our families. I was convinced BW "worked"--in spite of a FTT baby (blamed other things) and in spite of early milk supply loss (again, blamed myself, poor nutrition, not enough rest) and in spite of crying and crying (was taught and convinced it was "normal.")