new to unschooling...help

[mamamachanteuse]

Hi guys, I've been homeschooling my dd 6 yo since last year. We started with FIAR but only did the first volume because it was a struggle to get her to sit down and do it. This year we started with a very eclectic curriculum and abandoned it after oh... about 3 weeks. She just doesn't want to have to sit and DO School for 4 hours per day! I had been looking at unschooling last year and came to a decision to try it after our misstart this year. I've joined a local unschooling group which is helping answer my questions but I'm a little dissapointed because it seems that there aren't any other Christians involved and they are all talking about what sounds like non-coersive parenting.
How do you, Christian unschoolers here, deal with that? And where does unschooling and life meet?
Thanks,
Temple

[KitKat]

I am not technically an unschooler. We do use a structured curriculum, but we are very lenient in our use of it. So from my perspective...

When do unschooling and life meet?

Well, unschooling is life...

I know, not much help, but here how about this...

Instead of sitting down with a curriculum, you turn life into a curriculum. Instead of teaching counting, by dry repetition, have your child count out cups to put into the dishwasher. Instead of teaching abc's with having them write on paper, have them use sidewalk chalk and copy what you write. Instead of teaching phonics by sitting down have them grab items at the store that start with the letter of the day.

Then of course, set your home up for learning. Rather than having TV on in their rooms, have manipulatives, or educational games. etc.


So, though there may be limited amounts of actual "instruction" you use your day to instruct your child. When your child is reading, encourage reading books with information that is useful. For instance, while "The poky little puppy" has it's place (my favorite book from childhood actually :P) keep plenty of books about history and science around.

You make life a learning experience.

[euromom]

:popcorn

[cindergretta]

Oh for the LIFE of me, I can't remember this GREAT book I read about unschooling from a Christian perspective.  I borrowed it from the library.  If I think of it, I will edit this post!  :grin

Christian Unschooling : Growing Your Children in the Freedom of Christ Teri J Brown/Elissa M Wahl

[Chris3jam]

Yes, Christians unschool. There is a yahoo group (or two) - - http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Chr-U/

And http://www.amazon.com/Christian-Unschooling-Growing-Children-Freedom/dp/1891400223/sr=8-1/qid=1160016333/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-6557704-3392703?ie=UTF8&s=books

I started to unschool my kids when I saw that I was killing the love of learning in them. I had burnt them out before grade 1. :(

We use everything as a learning "tool". . ..even TV and movies. I make TV watching interactive. We talk. . .we discuss. We read books. . . do science experiments. Life is learning. . .you can't escape it. :)

[AttachedMamma]

I love this style of learning and you can incorporate some structure into it if/when your child has the desire. Play it by ear. Make it more experiential, engaging in the every day. For example, instead of teaching the number line on a page or with a book, draw it out in the street w/chalk and make a game of it. Check out "the ultimate book of HSing Ideas" :tu Do fun science experiments. Dig up worms in the backyard, visit your local museums, buy a local bird watching book and search out these critters. Read a book about prairie life then try your hand at spinning.

It really is a paradigm shift from the way we were taught how learning happens. :-)

cindi

[pneumaphile]

I think I totally would unschool if I felt I were able. As it is, I have ADHD and I work part-time and add all-day morning sickness on top - it's better that we loosely use curriculum so they're doing *something* even if I can't get off my butt and get a learning-rich environment going.

But I am an unschooler at heart. And that means facilitating learning by creating a rich learning environment, knowing their learning styles (kinesthetic? verbal? mathematical?) and helping them follow their interests. My 2nd grader asks me enough questions that I could get years of learning out of it if I followed up. When we're riding in the car and he asks me a question I don't know that answer to, it would be unschooling to help him google it, to find library books on it, to ask more questions about it, to experiment with it, and to generally run with it. If he's crazy about trains, you can use trains to teach history, science, math, geography, just about anything. That's unschooling! It is life!

And even though lots of unschoolers use NCP, unschooling is NOT NCP, even if some people tell you it is! You can unschool and still have limits and boundaries on your kids, and require them to do things. Really.

I feel like I was just rambling, but hope you get the answers you need.

[Jillian]

Here's a Radical Unschooling List - they are all very wonderful!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/RadChristianUnschoolers/

[mamamachanteuse]

Thank you for all your thoughtful replies! :D I'm trying to get the house set up and in the last week I've noticed a shift in dd1. She is now spending more energy in finding out about things she is interested in and less energy fighting me over when we "do school"! I'm lovin' it! She was inspired yesterday by our neighbor 7yo girl to make her own daily to do list. She doesn't spell very well yet and didn't want my help with it so she made a pictograph version for herself with things on it like "feed the fish", "get the mail", "play on the computer" (we have several learning tools on the computer). She has also really started helping out more around the house.
We decided just a few weeks ago to try the unschooling approach to TV(unlimited) for 6 mo to see how it goes... and although she is still watching more than I'm comfortable with. I can't deny all the ways she's been learning. And I'm so relieved not to be listening to a constant barrage of "can I watch, can I watch, can I watch?" I hope her interest in TV will naturally ebb and flow within the next 6 mo so I can just let go of that worry.
I also hope that this cooperation we've been getting is not just because she is in the integrating phase(she just turned 6 on 07/31).
Anyway, I'll be checking out the other yahoo groups and the other sites mentioned. Thanks a bunch! :peace

[cindergretta]

I've not heard about unlimited TV in the unschooling approach. Could someone please enlighten me? I've eliminated TV except for a little while in the evening before bed.....

Thanks!

[joandsarah77]

She just doesn't want to have to sit and DO School for 4 hours per day!

Just had to respond to that. Ugg neither would I. Thats your problem right there. A 6 year old dosn't need 4 hours of homeschooling a day. 2 is plenty.

[tempus vernum]

I've not heard about unlimited TV in the unschooling approach. Could someone please enlighten me? I've eliminated TV except for a little while in the evening before bed.....

Thanks!


There is a theory that children will "self manage" their TV consumption the same way they will manage to learn their interests. It's never worked for us because with 2 children over 4 the TV was on ALL the time - and the kids were drawn like flies to it. We had no TV for many years and brought it up about 2 years ago. After almost 2 years of too much TV for mom and dad, we moved it to the basement. After the TV was in the basement for over a month, we brought it up for the first time weekend for movie night on Saturday - it turned into movie weekend :O but it went back down tonight.

I think honestly the ability to self manage TV is very child specific.

P.S. we are unschoolers - well I preer the term relaxed but let's face it I unschool :mrgreen

[tempus vernum]

As far as the OP, I have noticed several differences amongst unschoolers -- Christian and "secular". Some don't have structure at all, some are very structured. We are fairly structured unschoolers with a rhythm to our days (when we are having good days ;) ) What I mean by this is that we have things we do at certain times, my children have chores and responsibilities and I am in charge. I know people that do not require much from their children that unschool and pretty much just are there to keep them safe and let them do "whatever" :shrug. I answer my children's questions (keep them in a little notebook actually) and answer them in detail. We talk about everything and I at times guide their learning if it is appropriate. I think of myself as kind of a waldorfy/montessori/unschooler :lol that's quite a label :O but I use concepts of all three as well as living books during our day.

We have morning "school" which consists of prayer/praise/bible verse recitation or practice/bible reading. Along with read aloud time and Alyssa reads a beginner reader to us. We do this on days we are home or don't have anywhere to be until late morning. (usually 3 times a week). We call it "school".

[Jillian]

We are full fledged unschoolers and I don't limit tv, never have. Television has no power in our house.

And we are not very structured, in that we don't live by a clock. We do have routines, but we take a nap/go to bed when we're tired. We eat when we're hungry, and wake up when our bodies had enough sleep. It's not like dinners at 6pm, then baths and books and bed at 8pm.

And unschooling is NOT letting the kids do "whatever" and just standing by to make sure they are safe. That's minimalistic parenting. Unschooling is finding things your kids will like, and exposing them to it. Unschooling is following your kids lead, even if goes against what you think *should* happen next. Unschooling is not breaking things into neat little categories, because that's not how life really is. Unschooling is listening to yourself, and allowing your children to listen to themselves, rather than hushing yourself and doing what you *should* be doing.

Unschooling has eliminated the guilt I had for being the kind of mother I always wanted to be. Saying yes to jumping in puddles and coloring outside the lines and raking up piles of leaves just to jump in, even if you have nice clothes on. It's funny to me to even be explaining like this, because unschooling looks so different for every family who unschools. Even if there was no *unschooling* label, I'd still be an unschooling mom. Just because its the way we live, not a label to live up to. I was amazed that there was even a "name" for how I was, I thought I just was who was, making choices I felt were right for us. The same as AP, I had no idea there was a term for it! LOL

[Mamatoto]

I don't understand this TV theory with unschooling at all.... :scratch

[tempus vernum]

And unschooling is NOT letting the kids do "whatever" and just standing by to make sure they are safe. That's minimalistic parenting. Unschooling is finding things your kids will like, and exposing them to it. Unschooling is following your kids lead, even if goes against what you think *should* happen next. Unschooling is not breaking things into neat little categories, because that's not how life really is. Unschooling is listening to yourself, and allowing your children to listen to themselves, rather than hushing yourself and doing what you *should* be doing.



I am sorry if I offended you :hugheart This is actually how several families we know IRL "unschool". Hmmm. . .I am not communicating this properly. . . here is what I mean (well actually have been told). They will not ever require a child to finish something if they want to stop they stop. They do not ever gently nudge them towards a particular bent. They left them do whatever, take them to the library regularly but do not encourage a certain type of book, let them lead entirely. I partially agree with your opinion that this is minimalist parenting but they call themselves unschoolers :shrug And TBH it seems to be working for them - I admit I am not intimate with these families that they'd admit things aren't peachy keen. Oh and I am using their words not my observations - this is how THEY describe unschooling. They believe a child has the internal ability to manage themselves and what they need to learn when that an adult getting in the way would just mess up the process - maybe I am not describing this properly :doh Shucks, I want to just erase my words cuz they sound so negative. :shifty

I actually unschool the way you are describing (except without TV because TV takes over our house like a mean green monster :O ) . I actually expose my children to things I also think they'd like not just things they request. If they don't like them, we move on. If they do like them and we commit, they are committed short term unless something occurs that we are uncomfortable with and we determine the event is causing more harm than good.

Maybe if I give an example from our family it iwll make sense. For example, ALyssa loves soccer and did soccer in spring. We took off in summer, started again in fall. This time she started with the homeschool group. She was the very youngest and after the first week she was crying that she hated it. Well, I got to the bottom of it and it was very hard for her to be less skilled than the other kids. We encouraged her that she could do it and it's for learning, etc etc We also told her she was committed until it got cold. She persevered and loves it. She is so glad she is still going. ON top of that she's making friends and enjoying it. The families I know that unschooled have pulled their kids out from activities at the first sign they didn't like it instead of finding out why and possibly encouraged perseverance. They feel the child can self manage. I don't necessarily agree with them but would never tell them to change their ideas. On the other hand, we did allow LUke to drop out sit out as he cannot make it through practices unless he's on steroids (chemo zaps his energy level). We consider circumstances.

I hope this clears things up.

[tempus vernum]

On the TV issue - here is a link http://sandradodd.com/t/debate Unschooling with TV in the house

Interestingly, there is this quote which would make even the staunchest "allow TV" people support me
No child will watch TV all day unless the rest of his life is stressful or frightening or otherwise something he needs to escape from

TV is probably an escape from cancer for my kids. But TBH I don't like TV - I think it's a time waster that's why we don't have one. We kept the TV upstairs for over a year post "cancer diagnosis" as an escape and it was an escape for all of us - we needed an escape. Now we don't seem to need it and TV just fuels Luke's violence.

UNschooling and TV http://www.lifelearning.org/2006/01/14/to-tv-or-not-tv/

UNschooling 101 http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Unschooling_101.html Scroll down to "But what if your kids want to watch TV/ play video games all day?"

Happy reading!

[BornFreeBaby]

great links :tu

[Mother Duck]

We do the unlimited TV thing ... I have found that the girls have self regulated ... the don't watch it all day and the oldest is very good at making sure the younger ones are not watching anything inappropriate :grin Actually they have learned a heap from TV - never thought I'd say that as I was very anti TV until we got Sky TV (satalite/cable :shrug) and the girls watch mostly Animal Planet, National Geographic or Playhouse Disney! I've been very proud of the choices they've made.

I can understand too about TV being an escape from cancer - mine did that a bit too when I was dealing with cancer. :hug

[Jillian]

I am sorry if I offended you :hugheart


Oh no, you didn't at all! I'm sorry if my post sounded like you did! :hug

I don't know about the families you're speaking of, but from what I hear of them in your posts, it seems like they are more caught up in being "unschooly" than actually unschooling.

And how you describe your unschooling life is pretty much how we do it as well. :mrgreen