I'm starting to understand some of the hangups I used to have about God.

[kwisie]

When I was growing up, I knew that God loved me, sent Jesus for me, etc., but I was always afraid of Him. I just knew that if I ever really gave my life to Him, He'd take away everything I liked, make me miserable, and punish me for every remotely wrong thing I did, as well as every good thing I was supposed to do and didn't. I completely avoided anyone that didn't believe exactly like I did, especially the ones that did things on the unwritten list of sins.

Fortunately, over the last several years, my entire way of thinking on these topics has changed. Upon reading posts here as well as the GBD book, I'm starting to understand where so much of this came from. Knowledge really is power in this situation.

I also now understand that my parents disciplined us as they did b/c of what they were raised with and what they were taught in parenting classes at church. I remember them talking about how grateful they were for a church that had parenting seminars and classes to help them. Unfortunately, the help they got was what so many people have gotten at church, a very punitive, us-versus-them style. And based on what I remember from that church, the theology totally matched. :no2 (We found somewhere much less rigid when I was an older teen.)

I am so thankful for my DH who challenged my thinking on everything. He has been the catalyst that has moved me from where I was to where I am now. :clap

Anyway, I just had to get these thoughts out. Excuse my rambling.

[CelticJourney]

It really is amazing how 'father' can be seen so differently depending on who you were raised. Sounds like you have had some great insights. :yes

[Rbonmom]

ITU, I walked away from my relationship with God for many years because I saw Him the way I saw my punitive parents. It felt cold and unloving and like He just was about following a bunch of rules, rather than loving me where I was. I felt like I could never be good enough (as I felt with my parents) and so why bother.
The pregnancy with my ds was where things started turning around. I discovered that the love a parent has for their child, before it's corrupted by the teaching of many of the so called "parenting experts", is the way God feels for me. Even more so, that drew me back to Him. And these past two years have been an incredible time of searching the Scriptures to see what they really say, and learning for myself Who He says He is :tu It's been totally transforming, and having the support of GCM has been huge. Before this, I truly doubted my "feelings" that punitive parenting was the wrong way, the unChristlike way because that's what we're taught in most evangelical churches :no2

What has been so neat is that my mom is finally grasping grace and not only is it transforming her relationship with God, it's made her really rethink so much of her parenting ideas. She said she's had several homeschooling mom's ask her "what do we teach for "character development" (she HS 5 of us) and she said "nothing" and explained to them that it's about a relationship and reflecting Chirst to our kids, and not about teaching a bunch of rules on proper behaviour :tu

[Rabbit]

When I was growing up, I knew that God loved me, sent Jesus for me, etc., but I was always afraid of Him. I just knew that if I ever really gave my life to Him, He'd take away everything I liked, make me miserable, and punish me for every remotely wrong thing I did, as well as every good thing I was supposed to do and didn't.


Thank you for sharing that. This is how I felt growing up, too, and it has been difficult to overcome.

-Natalie

[ArmsOfLove]

:hugheart