What should I say to her?

[LittleSweetPeas]

I am on a homeschool list and there has been somewhat of a heated debate going on between spankers and non-spankers. I have no idea if this other gentle mom is on here but her reference to gentle parenting was misunderstood. So I shared some things that were on my heart hoping that "honey" might draw them in. Well, it worked! I received a response from one of the moms:

I really appreciated your post. I am a spanker, but only because I believe the bible tells me to do that. I am interested in other alternatives. What are some suggestions. I have three boys (5yo, 3yo, and 17 mo).

She is asking me how to parent gently! Now I think this is great but i have no idea what to say to her. For the most part I dont have any idea what I'm doing just a firm feeling that I desire my home to be grace filled and that is what motivates me to try things until they work. I would love to give her some tangible things to try but have no clue where to start. Can anyone help me?

[Oliveshoots]

Hmmmm....

I would maybe start by telling her about the diff. between consequences and punishemnts (that way it's clear from the start that GBDing is not about removing expectations, just removing punishments! :tu) I would also mention comfort-corner/positive "time-outs". Maybe take some time to explain Get Off Your Butt Parenting. :mrgreen

Of course I would refer her here, and even mention some specific forums or even stickies. And refer her to some specific articles on the main page of this site.

So basically I would say "I would love to share with you some great alternatives that I have found to work well in our home. I got alot of my ideas from this website: www.gentlechristianmothers.com, especially the Gentle Discipline forum. Mostly we use natural/logical consequences, the 5 steps, and a comfort corner to teach our kids and help them make better choices. If you want to know more about those, let me know." Then she can either ask you more specifics about those, or maybe she'll even give you an example of something she would spank for, and you can give her an alternative idea. And I would also try to explain to her "why" the alternative is really more successful and healthy and Biblical.

I think it's awesome that you have that opportunity!!

:pray

[MarynMunchkins]

:rockon

I send people here and to Crystal's site. :)