Nanny 911

[Rbonmom]

I don't subscribe to the parenting ideas in Nanny 911, but I confess I watch from time to time :nails Anyway, I don't know if tonight's episode was new or a repeat but it just was :bheart
The family in the episode was a military family with 3 young kids. They were having all kinds of bedtime issues and lots of chaos. It was SO obvious that the kids were really affected by their dad's frequent deployments, even the parents and the nanny kept commenting on it. The :bheart was that they didn't address it, but rather just tried to correct the "big feelings" that were coming out. The youngest, a 2yr old girl would go into meltdown mode anytime her dad would leave the house :cry The dad would come back in to comfort the little girl, but that was a big "no-no" in the nanny's book. This little 2yr old had a tantrum for 2 full hours before the nanny finally said to put her down for a nap. The reasoning behind letting her meltdown for so long was that according to the nanny "she's never learned to soothe herself so if she's left alone she'll figure out how" :rolleyes Obviously after two hours the poor little thing was beyond her own ability to calm down. It was :sick to see how there was no compassion given to this little one, it was all "she so defiant" blah, blah, blah... not "let figure out why she's melting down" When they showed her finally calmed down, it was when her dad made a pallet on the floor and was laying down with her.
The nanny actually set up the family rules based on military stuff and she and the parents kept going on and on about "the battles" "the war with the kids" etc... :( Anyway, at one point the middle ds, maybe 3 or 4, was having a meltdown at bedtime because he was afraid that dad would be gone in the morning (this was the stated reason by nanny and the parents) Nanny's solution was to keep taking him back into his room and putting him back in bed, and not offering any more hugs and kisses (that's what he was asking for initially). So this meltdown went on and on for close to three hours :sick2 Finally the little boy was kicking the door, while his daddy was on the other side and he actually said "I don't even know you! I hate you!" :jawdrop Oh, it was just so sad. He was clearly verbalizing his feelings but here were this 3 adults just standing there "battling" it out with him. The dad's instincts were to comfort his kids, but every time the nanny was insisting that they let the kids scream it out.
Finally, at the very end of the week they had the dad and mom sit down with the children and explain that daddy wasn't going to be going away for a long time, that he was there and they didn't need to worry :banghead :banghead :banghead The kids did really seem to settle in after that reassurance, but I just couldn't help thinking how much more secure they all would have felt if they dealt with the real issue all along. It was just so frustrating to see that this is the "good advice" given to parents :no2

[hey mommy]

:td :no2 Poor kids... I wish they wouldn't put stuff like that on tv.. Why are parents so afraid of their kids' feelings anyway? Poor little guys.. Doesn't it make you want to reach through the tv and hug them? I've felt that way several times watching that show and Supernanny(though she isn't quite as bad as Nanny 911)..

[catholicapmom]

I saw it last night too and literally cried. :cry Those poor kids!!! I felt soooo sorry for them! I just wanted to give them a huge hug and say that daddy wasn't going to leave them. :cry

[Iveyrock]

The last time I watched a show like that (it was Supernanny) I had to turn off the t.v. I was so angry, I was swearing :blush, something I never do, and so sad for the kids in the show, and the way they reprented the mom. She was actually pretty attached, but you could just see that they were spinning the clips to make her look bad. The dad had called Supernanny, and he was made out to be all level headed and in control. Of course the biggest issues were sleep issues. I can't even write anymore, I'm getting mad again... but I swore I'd never watch it again, and seriously considered writing the producers. I didn't because I hadn't watched the end, but I probably should have.
Amber
*edited for spelling

[gentlemommy]

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[Wholly Mama]

How can that nanny even begin to understand what those kids are going through?! :mad I see those actions as creating life-long problems for those kids. :bheart

[cindergretta]

:sick :td :sad2 :bheart

[Jillian]

I can't even watch those shows. They are just heartbreaking! :bheart

[mamame]

I watched that too and couldn't figure out why they didn't deal with the elephant in the room right away? Let's try TALKING about what's going on first and understand what they're feeling and help them through it. Why NOT lay down with each one in the evening for a little while until they understand that Dad is going to be there for them? Now, I know that what was going on was out of control but I think that's because they didn't deal with stuff right away - even working at PREPARING the kids for Dad's deployments. There were SO many tools that they could have used instead of just ignoring it until it got to the breaking point.

That poor little 2 year old - she just made me so sad. And I was not happy that they didn't deal with the 4 year old's feelings - obviously he was hurting in a big way to say "I hate you Daddy" and "Shut up" but they just ignored it. :(

So sad! Of course things settled down at the end but why couldn't they have had the sit down BEFORE the crying and tantrums??

Ann