So my in-laws insulted me yesterday

[LittleSweetPeas]

We were celebrating SIL's birthday. She took her son out of preschool and hasnt really made much of an effort to find him a new one. I asked how it was going, any luck, etc. She said the one she wanted was wait listed. So then her husband pipes in and says:

"Yeah, I'm going to start a new religion and do creepy things like homeschool them"

I keep eating.

"Um, you know homeschool will be our religion" [as I think he realizes what he just said]

SIL laughs.

"Maybe we'll become like that Duggar family..."

SIL laughs some more.

I smile and mumble something about them having to add on to their house to accomodate 15 kids.

We've had this talk before, she knows that we're seriously considering it. Now, I dont think much of their opinions in the first place and personally find it quite funny that even though they make fun of HS that is exactly what they are doing. :giggle I just couldnt believe that people would say stuff like that right in front of me. What is with the passive-agressiveness? Irritating. Are people seriously this mean-spirited toward the choice to HS? Like, does it TRULY affect their life so much?

[cindergretta]

They're intimidated. And people make fun of that which they don't understand or is unfamiliar. Quite juvenile, really. :beandip

[hbmamma]

Yeah, my extended family members (aunts, uncles, grandmother) are like that. They asked how the kids were doing and I proceded to tell them great, that Em was starting school this fall. "What about the cut-off date??" they asked. :rolleyes :hunh What makes this magical cut off date so special? Anyway, I told them that I was planning to homeschool her so that really didn't matter. (I was homeschooled myself). And they give me this blank stare...and make a comment as if I might be "smarter" than my mom and send my kids to school like normal people. :doh :banghead


They're intimidated. And people make fun of that which they don't understand or is unfamiliar. Quite juvenile, really. :beandip

Totally Agree!!

[kiloyd]

I think some people who are unfamiliar with hsing think we are going to keep our children isolated like they will be some social misfits or something. Which is so far off from the truth!

[hsgbdmama]

"What about the cut-off date??" they asked.

You: "What about it?" :popcorn

Them: "Well, you know ..." as they stammer to come up with a coherent answer. :giggle

You: "No, I don't. Tell me." :popcorn

:shifty

[LittleSweetPeas]

:smile

[SouthPaw]

it sounds to me like a case of :foot syndrome that they tried to recover from but ended up looking even sillier :giggle i would just blow it off... but yeah... :rolleyes on the stupid comments

[AttachedMamma]

:sad2 What makes it worse is when there is more than one and they kind of "gang up" on you and make you the butt of their joke. So mean. :( I remember when I was w/a MOPS group and one of them starting making comments about "...those freaky homeschooling granola families..." (little did they know they were describing *me* :giggle) They didn't know me well enough to know I was planning to HS, but it shocked me to hear those mean-spirited comments from CHRISTIANS. I wanted to cry.

cindi.

[Leslie]

:sad2 What makes it worse is when there is more than one and they kind of "gang up" on you and make you the butt of their joke. So mean. :( I remember when I was w/a MOPS group and one of them starting making comments about "...those freaky homeschooling granola families..."


Your child is five years old - you mean these MOPS moms were making this comments just a couple of years ago? I thought homeschooling was more accepted and mainstream these days!

[illinoismommy]

you were too quiet.... you should have said something like "2.3 million people in America are making that creepy choice, and their kids are growing up the better for it too"

[AttachedMamma]

Your child is five years old - you mean these MOPS moms were making this comments just a couple of years ago? I thought homeschooling was more accepted and mainstream these days!


Actually, it was just about 1-1/2 yrs ago--can you stand it? :rolleyes That was the 2nd time I had attempted to be a part of MOPS. The 1st time was when DD was less than a year old and everyone was leaving their babies screaming in childcare. At my table the gals were talking about the "...horrible people who don't vaccinate..."...and I was one of "those" people.

It may be more mainstream today, but there are plenty of people out there who don't support it...and even worse--think you are ruining your kids. :mad Less than a year ago at a women's church group, at my table I was asked if my DD was in preschool/K. I said no. Then they pushed for more info about our plans and what school DD would be going to and I said we were HSing. The table fell dead silent and then they started basically quizzing me about my curriculum and plans (I could tell they weren't genuinely interested, but rather they were wanting to see if I had it all together). Then a mom said, "I couldn't do it. I'd be afraid my kid would turn out stupid." Everyone chuckled and I felt about 2 inches tall. I had absolutely no respect for her/them and was fortunate that they weren't in my bible study group.

How do I manage to get in these groups? :scratch I need to learn to be more assertive w/these types of comments. Usually what I do is let them zing me and zing me and then I lash out.

Strangely enough, all of my bad experiences w/hurtful comments about HSing have come from Christians. Sometimes it makes you feel like you want to defect to the other side, kwim?
cindi

[hbmamma]

That was the 2nd time I had attempted to be a part of MOPS. The 1st time was when DD was less than a year old and everyone was leaving their babies screaming in childcare. At my table the gals were talking about the "...horrible people who don't vaccinate..."...and I was one of "those" people.

You know that's why I don't go to MOPS at our church...it's incredibly "cliquey" and since I don't fit into their mindset of sending your kids to school for "me" time or tossing them into nursery whether they like it or not, I often get snubbed and ignored. :shrug I'm not that desperate for other mom friends...that's why I have GCM :yes :O

[AttachedMamma]

You know that's why I don't go to MOPS at our church...it's incredibly "cliquey" and since I don't fit into their mindset of sending your kids to school for "me" time or tossing them into nursery whether they like it or not, I often get snubbed and ignored. :shrug I'm not that desperate for other mom friends...that's why I have GCM :yes :O


:tu ITA! I attempted to try it out the 2nd time a couple of yrs later in case I just got a bad group. But it was still the same garbage--maybe worse. Get this: one gal who would get frequently called into the nursery b/c her baby/tot was screaming was joking about how they played "baby bingo" during church services...which mom would have their id # flash on the screen 1st b/c their child was screaming in child care :jawdrop :cry And then the group sympathetically commented on how hard the nursery caregivers worked in dealing with these screaming babies. I was screaming inside thinking "the workers?! does anyone have any compassion for the children?!" :mad

In the end, I attended about a total of 5 MOPS meetings in all. Good riddance. :grin

Ok, I digress...this is a home schooling board. :O

cindi

[illinoismommy]

It may be more mainstream today, but there are plenty of people out there who don't support it...and even worse--think you are ruining your kids. :mad Less than a year ago at a women's church group, at my table I was asked if my DD was in preschool/K. I said no. Then they pushed for more info about our plans and what school DD would be going to and I said we were HSing. The table fell dead silent and then they started basically quizzing me about my curriculum and plans (I could tell they weren't genuinely interested, but rather they were wanting to see if I had it all together). Then a mom said, "I couldn't do it. I'd be afraid my kid would turn out stupid." Everyone chuckled and I felt about 2 inches tall. I had absolutely no respect for her/them and was fortunate that they weren't in my bible study group.



I either pass the bean dip or am assertive in advance, before anyone says anything. Homeschooling came up yesterday with my mother in law and I started rambling about how its the fastest growing educational choice in the United States, and how we had just come from a house with 20-25 kids playing and all the older ones were homeschooled, and how great of an opportunity it all is... hehe... now really, who can follow that? If anyone said to me that they would be afraid their child would turn out stupid I would just shrug and say "well I'm not a bit concerned about that..." :giggle And when people ask about curriculum I'm going to tell them to leave that to me... lol.... really you can't get behind with a 5 year old :rolleyes

[AttachedMamma]

I either pass the bean dip or am assertive in advance, before anyone says anything. Homeschooling came up yesterday with my mother in law and I started rambling about how its the fastest growing educational choice in the United States, and how we had just come from a house with 20-25 kids playing and all the older ones were homeschooled, and how great of an opportunity it all is... hehe... now really, who can follow that? :tu :highfive

If anyone said to me that they would be afraid their child would turn out stupid I would just shrug and say "well I'm not a bit concerned about that..." :giggle And when people ask about curriculum I'm going to tell them to leave that to me... lol.... really you can't get behind with a 5 year old :rolleyes


DH joked that I should have said, "Why? Are *you* stupid?" :laughtears I'm just never that quick. :doh

[cindergretta]

DH joked that I should have said, "Why? Are *you* stupid?" :laughtears I'm just never that quick. :doh


:laughtears

[LittleSweetPeas]

I am dying inside to comment like that but restrain myself for the sake of family harmony.

Sorry you all had such a bad experience in MOPS. As a MOPS coordinator this year I know the groups are not supposed to be that way. Just in our group alone I am coordinating, my finance person doesnt vaccinate and, including myself, I know there are at least three of us homeschooling and more who have been considering it. Of course maybe its our area--I'm in the Bay Area in CA. :shrug

One of these days I'm not going to be able to hold back though. I'm just thankful that my family keeps their mouths shut. My dad thinks its great I'm considering it. My mom...not so much...but she knows better than to say anything. :yes

[Soliloquy]

They're intimidated. And people make fun of that which they don't understand or is unfamiliar. Quite juvenile, really.


:yes

[Leslie]

Less than a year ago at a women's church group, at my table I was asked if my DD was in preschool/K. I said no. Then they pushed for more info about our plans and what school DD would be going to and I said we were HSing. The table fell dead silent and then they started basically quizzing me about my curriculum and plans (I could tell they weren't genuinely interested, but rather they were wanting to see if I had it all together). Then a mom said, "I couldn't do it. I'd be afraid my kid would turn out stupid." Everyone chuckled and I felt about 2 inches tall.


Just wait. My oldest is a junior in high school, and my next two are in grades 7 and 4. And you know what? NOBODY questions or challenges our decision to homeschool any more. The evidence that it's worked is too obvious to ignore. Maybe you should just hang out with other homeschoolers for awhile, until your child is old enough to "prove" that homeschool isn't a disaster. And when your "creepy unsocialized" high schooler is pleasant and has thoughtful opinions and something intelligent to say about a variety of subjects, while other high schoolers are difficult, only believe what the media feeds them, and will only grunt monosyllables in response to adults, people will stop giving you a hard time. But by then, you won't care because you'll know what you know first-hand. :yes

[Teacher Mom]

Amen to the last reply!

[illinoismommy]

Just wait. My oldest is a junior in high school, and my next two are in grades 7 and 4. And you know what? NOBODY questions or challenges our decision to homeschool any more. The evidence that it's worked is too obvious to ignore. Maybe you should just hang out with other homeschoolers for awhile, until your child is old enough to "prove" that homeschool isn't a disaster. And when your "creepy unsocialized" high schooler is pleasant and has thoughtful opinions and something intelligent to say about a variety of subjects, while other high schoolers are difficult, only believe what the media feeds them, and will only grunt monosyllables in response to adults, people will stop giving you a hard time. But by then, you won't care because you'll know what you know first-hand. :yes


sweet :highfive