My neighbor will not get off my back about HS

[AttachedMamma]

I'm so tired of this woman. She is a grandma involved in the care of her grandson. He attends a "gifted" public school b/c he's very bright. My dd has been playing w/him often this summer (we just moved here) and his grandma is often in tow. 1st time it started off w/the questioning about why I'm hsing...next time it was about how DD is like her grandson and therefore needs to be around other kids all day (she said her grandson can't wait to go back to school and that summer break is torture for him...well, I think it's b/c she is a homebody and hardly takes him anywhere). Next time it was about how she's observed that dd is very bright and how I might want to test her...the next time it was commenting that dd is gifted and that I won't be able to give her all she needs. It almost cracked me up how she mentioned that dd is very bright...she behaved like she was giving me some new revelation...as if I don't even know my own child. :rolleyes

The funny thing is--her daughter hs'd her children until jr high, I believe.

The last time I was a bit pms'y and responded defensively... :O told her that our priorities are different than theirs...that knowledge/information isn't our highest priority in teaching our dd and it's not important to us if she knows all the state capitals (she brags about her grandson constantly).

The other thing is she is the epitome of the Pharisees. DD said "o my gosh" at the playground. This woman proceeds to comment on how her grandson knows not to say things like that b/c it is taking the Lord's name in vain and how they're doing a study on the ten commandments; also how nice he is b/c he didn't say anything to dd about what she said "he doesn't want to offend her." (but I guess it's ok for her to offend me and insult my dd?) This is way beyond behaving like a proud grandma--she constantly talks about how he's such a child of God...telling me about his quiet time and how he writes this and that, how he's composing music on his piano...and it's always in the context of comparing to my dd.

I have tried so hard w/this woman, but I can't stand her anymore. Life is difficult enough without someone bringing you down. I'm always bummed/stressed after spending any time with her. The boy is nice and I'd like for dd to continue playdates w/him...she really likes him too...but I don't want to be subjected to his grandmother.

Any advice?

cindi

[Cheyenne]

:hugheart :hugheart

[MarynMunchkins]

"You know, I feel defensive when we talk about our choice to homeschool. I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop suggesting my child would be better off in public school. I want to be able to enjoy spending time with you instead of defending our lifestyle."

:shifty

[mwwr]

Or how about, "Dd would love to have your grandson over to play, but I'm really too busy to visit with you this afternoon. Perhaps you could drop him off?"

How old are the children?

[Mother of Sons]

How about "What is it about our decision to homeschool that makes you feel so defensive that you feel the need to constantly badger me about it?"

[BHope]

:hugheart

[hsgbdmama]

"Well, the Lord has directed us to homeschool, and until He directs us otherwise, we are going to follow His instruction. If you have issues with it, might I suggest that you take it up with Him?" :beandip2

[AttachedMamma]

"Well, the Lord has directed us to homeschool, and until He directs us otherwise, we are going to follow His instruction. If you have issues with it, might I suggest that you take it up with Him?" :beandip2


The 2nd time she made a comment I told her I felt called to HS my DD. I thought that would nip it in the bud (b/c she's also a Christian and I thought she would respect that answer), but she's relentless. :rolleyes I think I need to reiterate that point with her. Another idea came to me when I read your response--that I tell her that if she is concerned about my hsing dd, that she pray for me. I think I also need to point out to her what she is doing, in case she doesn't realize it. :scratch I wonder if she is having a very hard time accepting what I am doing b/c of the similiarity between our children (my DD is almost 6 and her g-son is almost 8) and she needs to constantly justify why they are doing what they are doing. :shrug

All I know is that the problem won't go away if I simply ignore it. :poke It will have to be dealt with next time I see her face to face. Yuk. I hate confrontation. :crazy2

[hsgbdmama]

The 2nd time she made a comment I told her I felt called to HS my DD. I thought that would nip it in the bud (b/c she's also a Christian and I thought she would respect that answer), but she's relentless. :rolleyes I think I need to reiterate that point with her. Another idea came to me when I read your response--that I tell her that if she is concerned about my hsing dd, that she pray for me. I think I also need to point out to her what she is doing, in case she doesn't realize it. :scratch I wonder if she is having a very hard time accepting what I am doing b/c of the similiarity between our children (my DD is almost 6 and her g-son is almost 8) and she needs to constantly justify why they are doing what they are doing. :shrug

Yes, reiterate it but it sounds like you need to be very direct, since subtlety isn't working with her. :rolleyes2 :hug

[booboo]

**Jersey girl attitude here**

I'd question her parenting skills over the fact that she has to take in her grandson. Where did she go wrong with one of her kids? Not that it's her fault, but still something I'd be nudging her about.

I'd definitely be telling her to please stop at this point. "I don't tell you what to do with your life, why are you doing this to me?" I mean, get a grip! I'd also tell her about how ps teaches how to swear and do other things that could make her skin crawl and I don't want to expose my children to that stuff.

Grrrr... :mad

[slingmamaof4]

"My dh and I have prayed about this and we know that this is what God wants us to do at this time. We have thought it out thoroughly and prayed about it earnestly. We feel very confident about this decision. Thank you for letting me know about the great school that ______ attends. I am glad he loves it. But prayers have been answered about this matter." Say it assertively, not mean at all but not all quiet or anything either. Like this is the way it is. Matter-of-factly.

[AttachedMamma]

**Jersey girl attitude here**


:giggle

I *so* get that--I grew up in Jersey! ;)

cindi