Feeling the Preschool pressure- I need help.

[BornFreeBaby]

I guess its because I'm a part of a mostly mainstream MOMs club group, but so many SAHMs are putting their 2 and 3 year old's into part-day 2 or 3 day /week preschool program. I stayed home so that I wouldn't HAVE to put dd1 into preschool, but now that dd2 is here, I see how hard it is to keep dd1 busy when I don't have the time to sit and play with her like I did before dd2 was born. I feel guilty that I'm not doing enough for her- she's running circles around in the house because I'm not engaging her enough. So sometimes I think it would be good for her to go somewhere to be engaged more and 'learn' more. But I know that she's not ready to be apart from me. I know I can do better for her. And I do want to homeschool. But I feel like I have no energy and no drive at the moment to start a program. (sleep deprived?)

I know I can do this at home, I just haven't figured out a routine or schedule since dd2 was born. So pretty much for the last 5 months she's been watching tv and I throw in some playdoh and crayons every now and then when we're not going to play dates. dd2 has a short attention span and is bored at home and getting into trouble. She's 2 1/2.

I need some help or some motivation or something.

[SueQ]

dd2 has a short attention span and is bored at home and getting into trouble. She's 2 1/2.
This part confused me so I want to clarify that I am understanding your situation correctly. Your oldest dd#1 is the 2 1/2 yo and dd#2 is 5 months old. And you feel that dd#1 needs more structure but you feel too tired from taking care of a 5 month old to give her the structure that she needs. Am I understanding your situation correctly?

What has worked for me in the past is to have a special box of toys to pull out when I am busy with the baby but their older sibling was "Bouncing off the walls" In this box I had toys and nick nacs that I bought from yard sales and thrift stores and we called it the treasure chest. I decorated the outside of it like a treasure chest and stashed it behind the nursing chair. When ds started showing signs of boardom, etc. I would say, "Hey it's time for the treasure chest to come out." (I had 3 treasure chests and when one got old we exchanged it for another one."

Other things to have on hand for her to play with and be directed to:

Dress up cloths (I have all boys but they love to dress up as pirates, Native Americans, cowboys, and tons of other characters that they imagine)

blocks
toy animals
crayons
paints (these you need to help with though and may not work for you)

Get a big cardboard box, lay it on it's side and draw burners on the side that is on top that will be the stove, the open part will be the oven. Then get out your pots, pans, cookie sheets, and safe cooking utensils and let her play with them. My boys would rather play with my cooking things then the toys ones. They older ones even draw the food they are cooking on paper, cut them out, and put them in the pots or on the sheets. This entertains them for a long time.

Get out of the house and take a walk. I have found out that this does me as much good as it does my children! We have fun exploring nature together and we all come back feeling refreshed.

Rythem instrauments (She can even make her own using jingle bells, 2 paper plates, beans, and ribben. put the beans inbetween the two plates glue/type the two plates to gether really well, punch holes along the side and tie the bells and ribbons on. Then have her draw on it. There is her tamborine. She can also make drums out of those big oatmeal contianers, plastic "lard" containers, etc.)

Lacing cards (she can make her own by you punching hole on old post cards, photos that you don't want, the front of greeting cards, and then using colored yarn or shoe laces to pull through.)

Buy those big beads, a plastic needle, and yarn and have her string the beads to make a necklace, bracelet, or what ever she wants it to be.

I save the brown paper that comes packed in the books I order from CBD, Rainbow Resource Center, etc. Then when the boys get board, I'll get it out and either lay it on the floor or tape it on the wall and get out the colord pencils, bees wax crayons, markers, etc. and tell them to have fun decorating the wall/floor.

I hope some of these ideas may be helpful to you.

[Marsha]

I plan on homeschooling my kids too, at least the oldest, but she was three yrs when I had second dd, and I put her in one day a week (all I could afford). She's going two days this year, I assume you are talking about a mom's day out program or something like we do.
She has made friends and that has been great for her. She didn't do so well in our playgroup[ at mom's group, it didn't jell for her or something.
She was used to all of my attention and didn't do well w/out it. A box of toys would have not have helped her one little bit. And I was overwhelmed and couldn't help her much.
I have nothing but GOOD things to say about her little program. I don't think it is incompatible with homeschooling or sahm-ing at all since I do it obviously.
My goal is to find something similar to engage her, maybe even trading days w/another homeschooling mom to provide the same "different atmosphere" a couple of days a week after hsing starts.

[2TMama]

I remember feeling this way as my oldest got towards "preschool aged". I think, honestly, part of it was just looking around at what "others" were doing and the questions and comments about how "before ya know it, he'll be in school".

At 2 1/2, I don't even think HOMEschool is needed.....let alone *preschool*. It's normal to take a bit to get into the swing of a workable routine after adding a 2nd child too! (hence the lack of energy/drive as you put it ;) )

It sounds like these expectations are a bit wearing on you. You sound like a wonderful mama who's really looking at how to best meet the needs of her toddler. :tu

BTW, I think the running in circles around the house is pretty normal behavior for that age :D It doesn't mean you're a boring Mama ;) For some reason, God didn't make it so that just because us Mamas feel worn out our kids' energy level is also down (although it'd sure be nice if He would've!!).

[DogwoodMama]

:hug Just wanted to say I TOTALLY understand, and you got some great suggestions. :tu

[Dana Joy]

Are you against structured school entirely- or just the seperation from you?
I love the mommy and me preschool program our Adult Ed program has- at 2 and 3 it's only one day a week and mama's stay - at 4 it can be 3 or 4 days a week and mamas have to stay some of the time- but can stay as much as they want. Its developmentally appropriate, and since they have all the equipment and messy play that soemtimes I never get around to- it's nice for ds, I'm going to miss it this fall when I start the daycare.
Anyway you could look at local jr colleges, adult ed, park and rec- they all offer programs like this.
Of course if you are against the notion of school ignore my advice and drive out here once or twice a week- I'll be doing circle time and arts and crafts type stuff here and your always welcome to join us :grin

[illinoismommy]

you could schedule more playdates with mommies and 2 1/2 year olds... and classes in something like kindermusik.... I know what you mean, my guy is only 2 and he already gets bored with just me and I know he's going to get more social too, but I think i'm going to stay away from preschool because i keep reading threads at another homeschooling board where then the parent goes to homeschool and the kid wants to go to school with the friends they made in preschool. We're going to try to stick with lots of playdates and stuff with other future homeschoolers... I'm searching them out now even... and we'll join the homeschooling group as soon as he's old enough

[hsgbdmama]

TBCH, the attitude of the MOPS organization to have the kids segregated by age and doing more structured activities was one of the things that turned me off to them. :/ The notion in general that these little ones need to be in age-segregated, super-structured programs is nuts, IMNSHO.

Two and a half is too young for super structured activities. Read to her. Sing to her. Bring her to the library for toddler/preschool reading/activity days -- ds1 loved this!

Check out the local homeschool groups and find out if they do any kind of "park day" type thing ... I'm sure they will welcome you with open arms! :hearts

Don't expect to get organized in one day! :hug Commit to do 1-2 things per day with dd, such as reading or doing a craft, and build on from there. I'll put in my plug for Before Five in a Row which is for ages 2-4 ... it builds activities around wonderful stories. This might be another way to go, as it is very relaxed. www.fiveinarow.com

[caringmommy]

I went to the CA Homeschool Expo last weekend and went to a lot of sessions by Ann Lahrson-Fisher. During one of the sessions she read off the list of skills that the preschool she now works in required for the kids. She went through each one and talked about how, just by being loving parents, we're providing for learning in each of the areas already. (Her kids are grown now, so she works in a support role in a preschool figuring that any one-on-one time she can give the kids is better than none at all. But, she homeschooled her own kids and wrote a book about homeschooling.) For example, large motor skills is one - she said anytime you are out playing and bouncing a ball etc you are working on this. Fine motor skills - drawing and playdough etc. She said the only thing the preschool has that you won't is "being able to separate from parent." She said that she didn't think that was a great skill to learn at such an early age anyway. :tu It just made me realize that my kids don't need preschool. Maybe your dd needs social time - library story time or playdate, or more outdoor time??? I guess it just hit home for me that anything they'll get from preschool they can get better from playing at home. I don't know if I made any sense...feeling blech today.

[BornFreeBaby]

dd2 has a short attention span and is bored at home and getting into trouble. She's 2 1/2.
This part confused me so I want to clarify that I am understanding your situation correctly. Your oldest dd#1 is the 2 1/2 yo and dd#2 is 5 months old. And you feel that dd#1 needs more structure but you feel too tired from taking care of a 5 month old to give her the structure that she needs. Am I understanding your situation correctly?



Yes. That's the jist of it. I do take the girls to playdates very frequently, so she's engaged with other children. What I need is to start doing things with her one-on-one at home, but it just seems like its hard to do, even with anne in the sling (she doesn't like the swing) and the baby really doesn't like to be put down for very long. I need to set her up with easy activities that she can do herself. I like all of your ideas. I have a dress-up box, but she does need some help. She can't use scissors yet, but maybe some of the beads and other activites you mentioned. I agree that its too early for a structured home school. I guess I just need to have some sort of routine- especially in the late afternoon.


Are you against structured school entirely- or just the seperation from you?
I love the mommy and me preschool program our Adult Ed program has- at 2 and 3 it's only one day a week and mama's stay - at 4 it can be 3 or 4 days a week and mamas have to stay some of the time- but can stay as much as they want. Its developmentally appropriate, and since they have all the equipment and messy play that soemtimes I never get around to- it's nice for ds, I'm going to miss it this fall when I start the daycare.
Anyway you could look at local jr colleges, adult ed, park and rec- they all offer programs like this.
Of course if you are against the notion of school ignore my advice and drive out here once or twice a week- I'll be doing circle time and arts and crafts type stuff here and your always welcome to join us :grin


I'm not against a structured school, I just don't want to put her through the separation (screaming) and have her be terrified. She's not ready to be away from me. I think its taking her a long time to get over the separation anxiety because I wasn't very ap with her in the beginning and I forced her to be away from me (and cry for 20-30 min in church nursery) between ages 1-2. Now she is terrified of church and anything where I have to leave her. I can't do Mommy and me or other parent participation preschool program because I have Anne as well. I can't do those activities with her with another baby in tow. But I guess I need to step up on my time spent with her one-on one and maybe start taking her to the library/ outside/ etc. She gets plenty of social time at the moms club- (NOT MOPS) where we go to playdates 3-4 days/week. She's just at this age where she needs to be busy doing things all the time. I think she gets especially crazy when I've been slinging Anne all day/ bfing all day and I haven't spent any time down on the floor playing with her.

[Dana Joy]

I can't do Mommy and me or other parent participation preschool program because I have Anne as well
The adult Ed program here allows siblings as long as they are in contained in slings or strollers.

[BornFreeBaby]

That's good to know... I should ask to see if they allow younger siblings at the parent participation program. That would probably be something good for her to do- if I was right there to help.