Need a complete overhaul in our home.

[Cheyenne]

Okay, I don't have a lot of time to post this, so I will keep it short, and if it is too short and people need more info, then I will do my best to add as needed.

I am embarrassed to admit this, but I really need help.

I have realized that my kids have developed many bad habits due to my being overly tired, flaring from fibro and just being lax in parenting. I have the summer time to work with my kids on developing new and good habits and work on my own as well. They tend to drop things everywhere including clothes, toys, trash, etc. Our house is small with six people in here and minimal storage space, so it takes hardly any time at all for things to go from clean to thrashed. They have poor habits when it comes to attitudes, helping out, treating furniture correctly and not destroying it by climbing all over it. I had some of these down for awhile, but with the increase in kids and me feeling worse, many of the good habits declined and now I find myself needing to start over. However trying to get four kids to start doing better when I am struggling myself seems rather impossible. I know it isn't, but I could sure use some advice, and encouragment. We have no good routine and struggle to stick with a routine. My kids are also really off on bedtime and are going to sleep way too late. I am trying to get them back to their normal bedtime of 8:30, but they are struggling to go to sleep and they wind each other up too easily and then they are overstimulated. My husband is not much help in the evening because of needing to go to bed early for work, so I am solo in the evenings. They don't listen to me and tend to get whatever they want whenever they want and when I tell them no, they ignore me completely. Sometimes they are all in different areas, so trying to make sure all 4 are out of trouble and doing as they should makes my head spin. I do try to make what I say happen, but sometimes I am sooooooooo tired and sleep deprived that I am struggling. They have gotten into bad habits of bei ng unwilling to help out and 5 stepping all of them is rather complicated. HELP!!

[Mamatoto]

I know it must be really hard to have such a busy household and dealing with fibro and being tired. :hug2 I think that you are going to have to lead the overhaul for it to happen, though. You may need to begin showing them by modeling how to care for things. Just start small with the kitchen counter and take good care of it and make it look shiny. Then take that attitude and spread it all over your home. Your children will not be able to do it until you do it yourself. Even if that is baby steps at a time.

[ChristianMother27]

aww :hug is there a way you can make use of copycat behavior? like maybe direct the oldest and let them be the example for the younger? :hug again

[greenemama]

the hardest thing for me is being disorganized. if i had a place for everything, i think it would be easier for me to teach the kids where stuff goes. it's hard when the places are always changing.

i can only imagine with double the kiddos. :hug

[Cheyenne]

Thanks for the encouragment. :heart It was hard, because I posted this just before GCM went back down for upgrades, so I had to wait awhile for the replies, but I think posting it still helped because I knew it was out there now. My dh and I did some major decluttering and cleaning this weekend. I also put toys up high to start working with them on playing with only one thing at a time and cleaning it up before getting another. I have started trying to find simple chores to assign the kids and start small with each one washing the table at one time during the day after a meal. I am trying to think about what things are getting messed up the most and how to solve those problems. I am trying to be more proactive and less reactive. I am also trying to get the sleep schedule worked out. Still an uphill battle because they are just not falling asleep even though they are waking up by 8:00 they are still awake at 10:30. :hissyfit I think my routine is good, but I am not sure. I am letting them get extra energy out from 7:00-8:00 with their friends outside riding their bikes, then they come in brush teeth, dress for bed and then read a story for 15 minutes. Then they can lay in bed with books for about 30 min. Should I change something? This is where I am so far. If I come across another hurdle, I will post it here and see if a solution can be found. So far things are going smoother. Thanks!!

[scooter]

My daughter has been impossible to get to sleep at a reasonable time, but since I've been insisting she gets up at a set time each morning, and only allowed 15-20 mins of time in bed before lights out, she has (amazingly) started to drop off to sleep much earlier. I used to let her play in bed, but now she can look through photo albums, or old penpal letters, or her old drawing books. This probably doesn't help much, as she does have her own room. I can relate to the small house, no storage, chaos before you know it situation. I've been thinking of putting a small garden shed outside and storing toys out there, then rotating them, bit like you have started doing. Sounds like you are making progress. Bit by bit, you'll get there, and don't worry about it (the house) or them (the children) being perfect!!!! (now, if I can just listen to my own advice!! :D
Love,
Deb