sarahtar
03-06-2006, 11:39 PM
I'm getting ready to send an email off to our pastor, the pastor in charge of the LIFEgroups, and the individual teachers of the three ezzo classes. It's very long. I know our pastor well, he will read the whole thing, and will appreciate having the information at his fingertips. (IOW, he will NOT respond well to "i have some concerns, read this website.")
I know this is long, but if you have comments, I'm open.
(PS borrowed heavily from the letters posted in the sticky. thanks to the authors.)
Dear Pastor xxx,
Looking to become more involved in church life, Randy and I were looking through the list of Lifegroups a few days ago and were shocked to find that First Assembly teaches the Gary Ezzo “Let the Children Come” series (also known as Babywise, Preparation for Parenting, Growing Kids Gods Way, Preparation for the Toddler Years, Reaching the Heart of Your Teen, etc.)
I don’t know if you’re aware of the controversy surrounding Mr. Ezzo and his materials, but Randy and I firmly believe that they have no place being taught in the church. Further, we were somewhat surprised to find these materials being taught because they are such a contradiction to the love, grace, and acceptance that you have worked so hard to foster within the church. You teach about compassion and showing Christ’s love to others during your sermons, and I know that you consider integrity to be a personal ideal we should all be striving for. So we’re a little confused as to why you encourage (or at least allow) these materials to be promoted. We will outline our concerns below.
First, we have concerns about Gary Ezzo himself. He has been under church discipline multiple times, and is currently excommunicated from an evangelical church in California, which he attended before moving to the east coast. He has been caught in habitual lies about a wide variety of things, including inventing degrees he did not earn. All of these things have occurred since his parenting ministry began.
Many prominent evangelical Christians have publically stated concerns about Mr. Ezzo and his materials, including Dr. James Dobson, Dr. John McArthur, Dr. Philip Ryken and Tedd Tripp.
In addition, Gary Ezzo has no medical background whatsoever yet he dipenses medical advice, such as how often parents should feed their newborns. Growing Families International, his company, has claimed that Anne Marie Ezzo has a pediatric nursing background, but no coursework or degrees have ever been cited.
Second, we have concerns over Mr. Ezzo’s presentation of Scripture, which we believe to be twisted and inaccurate. The most troubling to us is the Ezzos’ repeated citations of Matthew 27:46 – “…My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” – to support their teachings that parents should refuse to attend to their crying infants. To quote Focus on the Family on this issue, “We see no way to make such an application of this verse without completely disregarding its original context and purpose.” It seems as though a better model for how to respond to a child’s cries could be based on the numerous passages throughout the Bible that tell us how tenderly God hears our cries and responds to us at our place of need.
Also, the Ezzos seem to imply a Divine status to teachings that clearly are not Biblically supported. For example, though the Bible doesn’t give a specific outline for what to do with a baby all day, their infant care book is subtitled “God’s Order for your Baby’s Day.” And though many of the suggestions in their toddler program (such as how to behave at a buffet dinner) are certainly reasonable, there is absolutely no Biblical basis for suggesting that they are Christian standards or “God’s Way.”
Many of the mandates in the materials are, in fact, directly opposed to what I believe – and what you have taught – is “God’s Way.” For example, I can’t imagine God shutting me in my room, shunning me, when experiencing emotions that are frightening, such as fear, upset, or even rage. In fact, we have been told that He is a comfortor, that He never leaves us, and that He is our Strong Tower. If I am a representative of God to my children, how could I treat them any differently than how Christ would treat me?
Third, there is the matter of the materials themselves, which we know have led to well-meaning parents bringing their children to harm. All of Mr. Ezzo’s books, especially but not limited to Babywise, are full of medical misinformation and lack a sound basis in what we know about how God created breastfeeding, infant sleep patterns, and general child development. We are especially concerned because Mr. Ezzo presents his own opinions as facts, while ignoring established medical facts.
The suggested feeding schedule in Ezzo’s Babywise program has been known to cause Failure to Thrive in infants. Numerous news reports and individual testimonies have shown the medical problems intelligent and devoted families have encountered because of using Babywise. In a response to the rise in popularity of the Babywise methods, the American Association of Pediatrics has publicly warned against parent-designed feeding schedules.
One of the disturbing elements of “Growing Kids God’s Way” is the Ezzos’ description of “First Time Obedience,” which says that a child must obey the first time they are told to do something. If they don’t, they are sinning. And if the parent repeats the request, they are also sinning. We can’t seem to find in our Bibles where it mentions that repeating a request is a sin. In fact, Scripture shows God giving commands that are questioned or challenged, and then God repeats Himself. Surely God was not sinning when He repeated His command to Moses, for example.
These are just a few examples of a few of the elements to the programs that are quite disturbing to our family. Overall, the Ezzo programs do not seem to our family to be “God’s Way.” We certainly understand that many wonderful parents follow the Ezzo programs, and our intention here is not to insult those parents. It is rather to make sure that you are aware of some of the concerns and problems that surround the materials and their author.
I know that Randy and I have not been the most faithful churchgoers since our son Wally was dedicated in 2004. However, over the past few months, we have felt God tugging at our hearts to return to regular church attendance, and we have been eager to find ways to become more involved in a church.
Unfortunately, we now feel that we must begin looking for a new church home. First Assembly has been a very special place for our family, and you have personally meant a great deal to us over the years, so this decision is causing us some degree of heartache. But if the methods and ideals taught by Gary Ezzo are the standard for raising children at First Assembly, we do not feel that there is a place for our family within the congregation.
We will conclude this letter by letting you know that we firmly believe that our job as parents should involve two main ideals – helping our children grow into healthy, strong, and independent Christian adults and modeling Christ-like behavior to them. We do not believe that the Gary Ezzo programs will help to accomplish either one of those goals. Christ said that what we do for the least of these, we do for him. My son is “the least of these” and I cannot imagine treating him as poorly as the Ezzo materials encourage.
Thank you for taking the time to read our (greatly abbreviated) concerns. We both sincerely hope that you will reconsider offering these classes through the LifeGroups. There are many, many alternative programs available. We would be happy to help you research the alternatives.
Please feel free to call us should you wish to discuss this issue further. xxxxxxx. We can be quite difficult to reach by phone, though, so email might be a better choice.
Grace and peace,
Randy and Sarah Reid
Additional information may be found at www.ezzo.info
I know this is long, but if you have comments, I'm open.
(PS borrowed heavily from the letters posted in the sticky. thanks to the authors.)
Dear Pastor xxx,
Looking to become more involved in church life, Randy and I were looking through the list of Lifegroups a few days ago and were shocked to find that First Assembly teaches the Gary Ezzo “Let the Children Come” series (also known as Babywise, Preparation for Parenting, Growing Kids Gods Way, Preparation for the Toddler Years, Reaching the Heart of Your Teen, etc.)
I don’t know if you’re aware of the controversy surrounding Mr. Ezzo and his materials, but Randy and I firmly believe that they have no place being taught in the church. Further, we were somewhat surprised to find these materials being taught because they are such a contradiction to the love, grace, and acceptance that you have worked so hard to foster within the church. You teach about compassion and showing Christ’s love to others during your sermons, and I know that you consider integrity to be a personal ideal we should all be striving for. So we’re a little confused as to why you encourage (or at least allow) these materials to be promoted. We will outline our concerns below.
First, we have concerns about Gary Ezzo himself. He has been under church discipline multiple times, and is currently excommunicated from an evangelical church in California, which he attended before moving to the east coast. He has been caught in habitual lies about a wide variety of things, including inventing degrees he did not earn. All of these things have occurred since his parenting ministry began.
Many prominent evangelical Christians have publically stated concerns about Mr. Ezzo and his materials, including Dr. James Dobson, Dr. John McArthur, Dr. Philip Ryken and Tedd Tripp.
In addition, Gary Ezzo has no medical background whatsoever yet he dipenses medical advice, such as how often parents should feed their newborns. Growing Families International, his company, has claimed that Anne Marie Ezzo has a pediatric nursing background, but no coursework or degrees have ever been cited.
Second, we have concerns over Mr. Ezzo’s presentation of Scripture, which we believe to be twisted and inaccurate. The most troubling to us is the Ezzos’ repeated citations of Matthew 27:46 – “…My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” – to support their teachings that parents should refuse to attend to their crying infants. To quote Focus on the Family on this issue, “We see no way to make such an application of this verse without completely disregarding its original context and purpose.” It seems as though a better model for how to respond to a child’s cries could be based on the numerous passages throughout the Bible that tell us how tenderly God hears our cries and responds to us at our place of need.
Also, the Ezzos seem to imply a Divine status to teachings that clearly are not Biblically supported. For example, though the Bible doesn’t give a specific outline for what to do with a baby all day, their infant care book is subtitled “God’s Order for your Baby’s Day.” And though many of the suggestions in their toddler program (such as how to behave at a buffet dinner) are certainly reasonable, there is absolutely no Biblical basis for suggesting that they are Christian standards or “God’s Way.”
Many of the mandates in the materials are, in fact, directly opposed to what I believe – and what you have taught – is “God’s Way.” For example, I can’t imagine God shutting me in my room, shunning me, when experiencing emotions that are frightening, such as fear, upset, or even rage. In fact, we have been told that He is a comfortor, that He never leaves us, and that He is our Strong Tower. If I am a representative of God to my children, how could I treat them any differently than how Christ would treat me?
Third, there is the matter of the materials themselves, which we know have led to well-meaning parents bringing their children to harm. All of Mr. Ezzo’s books, especially but not limited to Babywise, are full of medical misinformation and lack a sound basis in what we know about how God created breastfeeding, infant sleep patterns, and general child development. We are especially concerned because Mr. Ezzo presents his own opinions as facts, while ignoring established medical facts.
The suggested feeding schedule in Ezzo’s Babywise program has been known to cause Failure to Thrive in infants. Numerous news reports and individual testimonies have shown the medical problems intelligent and devoted families have encountered because of using Babywise. In a response to the rise in popularity of the Babywise methods, the American Association of Pediatrics has publicly warned against parent-designed feeding schedules.
One of the disturbing elements of “Growing Kids God’s Way” is the Ezzos’ description of “First Time Obedience,” which says that a child must obey the first time they are told to do something. If they don’t, they are sinning. And if the parent repeats the request, they are also sinning. We can’t seem to find in our Bibles where it mentions that repeating a request is a sin. In fact, Scripture shows God giving commands that are questioned or challenged, and then God repeats Himself. Surely God was not sinning when He repeated His command to Moses, for example.
These are just a few examples of a few of the elements to the programs that are quite disturbing to our family. Overall, the Ezzo programs do not seem to our family to be “God’s Way.” We certainly understand that many wonderful parents follow the Ezzo programs, and our intention here is not to insult those parents. It is rather to make sure that you are aware of some of the concerns and problems that surround the materials and their author.
I know that Randy and I have not been the most faithful churchgoers since our son Wally was dedicated in 2004. However, over the past few months, we have felt God tugging at our hearts to return to regular church attendance, and we have been eager to find ways to become more involved in a church.
Unfortunately, we now feel that we must begin looking for a new church home. First Assembly has been a very special place for our family, and you have personally meant a great deal to us over the years, so this decision is causing us some degree of heartache. But if the methods and ideals taught by Gary Ezzo are the standard for raising children at First Assembly, we do not feel that there is a place for our family within the congregation.
We will conclude this letter by letting you know that we firmly believe that our job as parents should involve two main ideals – helping our children grow into healthy, strong, and independent Christian adults and modeling Christ-like behavior to them. We do not believe that the Gary Ezzo programs will help to accomplish either one of those goals. Christ said that what we do for the least of these, we do for him. My son is “the least of these” and I cannot imagine treating him as poorly as the Ezzo materials encourage.
Thank you for taking the time to read our (greatly abbreviated) concerns. We both sincerely hope that you will reconsider offering these classes through the LifeGroups. There are many, many alternative programs available. We would be happy to help you research the alternatives.
Please feel free to call us should you wish to discuss this issue further. xxxxxxx. We can be quite difficult to reach by phone, though, so email might be a better choice.
Grace and peace,
Randy and Sarah Reid
Additional information may be found at www.ezzo.info