Why am I embarassed to talk about planning to HS?

[LittleSweetPeas]

DD is approaching 3 and in our area its an anomaly to not be in preschool beginning now. Quite a few people in the last month have asked me where she is attending or when she'll be starting. Im really not sure what my response should be as most of these people have kids in preschool and are assuming its the "right" thing to do. I start to say I'm keeping them at home and planning on HS but then feel embarassed or worse, feel I might be insulting their choice to preschool. What did/do you say or do and how did you get over the fear of sharing your decision?

[4Cygnets]

I think it takes awhile to get used to explaining why you are going against the grain. The longer you homeschool the more comfortable and confident you will feel.

[Singingmom]

It does feel awkward at first, but just say it with a smile :) You're not insulting their choice to send their dc to preschool any more than they're insulting your choice to hs by telling you their plans. It's funny, but I've found a lot of people do get defensive about their choices when I mention I hs, but you can't worry about that. Just say it with confidence, even if you don't feel it yet. :hug

[asher]

I think with a lot of things that go against the grain, it just takes exposure to those situations & you become confident. For us, God really showed us point blank that a conventional school situation was not what we should do w. ds. My mom has been the only one who has spoken out against us hs'ing & that situation just took time & being forward that although we appreciate her concern, we are doing what God wants us to do & what we think is best for ds. :pray that you find the words you need, Mama.

[joandsarah77]

Oh I hear you on that, I have felt so uncomfortable to say 'We homeschool' It's so much easier to avoid the topic unless asked point blank. It kind of depends who's asking also. So far I havn't had any negative reactions except from our church :eyebrow which is weird as I thought they would be the more suportive ones, go figure. I think instead of saying "I'm keeping them at home and planning on HS" I would just say "We homeschool" I've started to feel just a little more brave saying that. That part about "I'm keeping them at home" is probably making you feel worse, and then making you feel you need to then explain which is putting you on the defiensive. Start thinking of homeschooling as a way of life and you will feel more able to say 'We homeschool' which says it all really. :)

[ArmsOfLove]

Yeah, I agree with just saying "we homeschool" because you already do :) And, whether you feel it or not, the more confidence you can say it with the less likely you'll get a weird reaction.

[DogwoodMama]

I'm going through this too, it does feel weird doesn't it? :hug I have been saying "we are going to HS" but as C gets older I will probably just say "we are HSing." :grin

Last night was encouraging though- I went to a Superbowl party held by friends from church and got a chance to talk to a lady I hadn't before... She has a 15 yo dd who is homeschooled and had only attended preschool for two years... it was very encouraging to talk to her and I was so excited to tell her we are going to homeschool, and she enjoyed talking about when her dd was young and what they did. A bit different than my normal reluctance! :O

[illinoismommy]

Man I wish I could find it.... but I read an article recently in an academic journal.... homeschooling is the fastest growing educational choice in the US (maybe elsewhere too, I don't know).... so you are not alone! :hug2

[lmgeenw]

Yep, I'm struggling with the same thing. Some people are so supportive, but the majority of people have no idea what I am talking about or look at me like I am a complete weirdo or idiot. Right now I am struggling with what to have my daughter tell people.

[Jillian]

It is hard to flat out tell people you are making a hugely different choice, especially when it has to do with kids. It does get easier, and you will get to the point where you don't even flinch when the kids get older and everyone you come in contact with all day asks why they aren't in school...and the kids happily say "We Homeschool!" with big smiley faces! :mrgreen

Why is it people get defensive? I've experienced that too, and just never understood why?!? :shrug

[LittleSweetPeas]

Thanks for all the support!

We had friends over the other night and they asked us about school for our eldest DD. When I told them I was planning on HS, the husband said to me, "Well not that *your* kids are going to turn out this way but the kids I've worked with on the worship team who are HS are completely socially inept. They're smart and all but zero social skills or ability to relate to the other teens." We had a good discussion about it and some of his conclusions are a bit strange just because part of his belief in PS is just for his kids to have to make their own choices related to peer pressure. So of course he feels my thoughts on protecting them from some of the stuff related to peers is completely overprotective and wont "allow" them to make their own choices.

If nothing else they gave me some practice in discussing HS. The funny part was his wife, in the middle of the discussion, revealed that she had thought about HS their future kids. Her husband apparently had never heard this before. Was quite funny actually! :giggle

[Marmee]

Everyone always fires out the "socialization" question when you mention the "h" word. I answer with, "Actually socialization is a big reason why we decided to homeschool. We prefer "real world" socialization as opposed to being surrounded by 30 age mates all day. Our children order their own food in restaurants, can ask for help from librarians, volunteer at the senior housing project (calling BINGO for the little old ladies :giggle), (at this point I gauge reaction and continue spouting off all of our "social" interaction or stop if their eyes are rolling back into their head). My children are generally polite and pleasant, so as they get older, it becomes less and less necessary to SAY anything. At only 6 (almost 7) and 2 and a half, they are far more social than many adults I know!

[hsgbdmama]

I have often said "I'm keeping him home for the time being" and left it at that. :shrug Overall, I've gotten positive response to our decision to hs.

On the socialization question, I simply respond, "My husband and I are satisfied with his social skills, so that's not a concern for us." That usually settles it. If they press, stating the need for being around other kids, I respond with "He plays with the kids at church, the neighbor boy, his cousins and the kids in our homeschool group." If they still don't get it, I'll add, ":scratch I'm not sure exactly which social skills he is going to learn from other x year olds that he cannot learn from his father and me. :shrug" :shifty

[AttachedMamma]

Oh, I understand what you're saying. I don't bring up the topic unless someone asks me. These days it's often b/c DD is 5 and eligible for K next Sept. And I have still found myself sometimes dancing around the subject b/c I want to avoid being attacked, :blush though I know that's wrong and I'm working on that. Sometimes I don't want to tell someone b/c they might feel hurt. They are sincerely nice people and I think they would rather be HSing but can't.

I've gotten better at it...Honestly, if someone asks you, you can't blame yourself for telling them simply, "We're homeschooling." I would avoid explaining why, though, unless pressed for an answer, though you can always bean dip that one if you feel they're trying to set you up. :rolleyes Eventually they'll be asking, "What curriculum do you use?!" If you're eclectic, like me, that's a fun question to answer!

Oh! Just wait until your DD starts answering the question herself! That's a hoot! :lol

cindi

[hsgbdmama]

Oh! Just wait until your DD starts answering the question herself! That's a hoot! :lol

Yes it is! During children's time at church a few months ago, the speaker was asking the kids about school and such and something school related, and suddenly I heard a very familiar voice answer very clearly, "I go to school AT HOME!" It was kind of :woohoo and :doh (I had not made it very public yet that we hs, and our church is filled with ps teachers :shifty ).