Any one else wonder this?

[lmgeenw]

My daughter has always seemed really into workbooks and wanted to learn to read at a very early age. One of the first books I read on HS was The WEll-trained Mind and this book seemed to make a lot of sense to me. But the last few months I have really been leaning more toward the idea of unschooling. I have been reading some of the Moore's books and several other books that talk about the danger of early formal education. It just makes so much sense to me because one big reason I want to HS is that I think kids have enough stress to deal with in this crazy world and I don't want school to be the single most important thing or even biggest influence in my children's life.

Anyway, I am trying to figure out how having a daughter who loves workbooks and who is reading before the age of 5 and asks me all the time to "do school" with her fits into the unschooling equation. One thing that just hit me is that maybe she likes to do these things because she gets to spend time with me and have my focused, individual attention. And maybe just because I love to read and she wants to do something that is important to me. I do try and give her options about what we will do together. I mean if she doesn't want to practice reading or read me a book, I drop it and she doesnt' have to. But am I pressuring her without even realizing it?

Has anyone else ever felt like this and what do you think?

[erinee]

I'm not an unschooler, but my understanding is that workbooks aren't *necessarily* at odds with it -- if your child likes workbooks and is the one choosing to do them, you can just follow her lead and still be an unschooler. I agree that maybe it's because she enjoys the closeness, and you can try facilitating that in other ways, but I don't think you need to give them up if she wants to do them. She may enjoy them because they're like puzzles. I always enjoyed workbooks as a child, and now I enjoy crossword puzzles and logic problem books, which are kind of workbooks for adults, when you think about it.

[slingmamaof4]

You dd sounds like mine. My dd is 4.5 and has been reading for a while now. Since she was under 4. My dd does ask to do workbooks (although she will often pick pages that she can do easily--things she has known for a long time and other times she will pick a page that she is capable of doing, but it is more of a challenge). If she asks to do workbooks I would let her. There is a big difference to me in providing children with a stimulating environment that promotes learning, critical thinking, problem posing...than early formal education. If she likes workbooks have some where she can get them out and do them when she wants. Have lots of books that teach about different kinds of animals, and how plants grow, and about the solor system (you can borrow them from the library). Magic School Bus books and videos are fun and educational. Have a big container of pennies, or chinese marbles, or whatever it maybe that she can use to help figure out addition and subtraction. My dd likes to take out a container of change and do math problems. Another thing that my dd does that is not formal, but educational is she often cooks with me. And thus she has learned fractions. She knows the 1 cup, 3/4 cup, 2/3 cup, 1/2 cup, 1/3 cup, 1/4 cup. I will say next is 1/3 cup of _____ and she can do it.

I think that having a very structured school time is completely unnecessary at a young age. But is she asks for school time then go ahead and do something together. Read a Magic School Bus book and do the project at the end. Let her sort the different kind of coins from her piggy bank and talk about the value of each coin. Let her do some workbook pages if she wants. Help her write a story...you can take turns deciding what will happen next in the story. Or just let her create a story all on her own...she can write it down if she can, if not let her either tape-record it or you can transcribe it. Let her put a puzzle together. There are lots of fun, educational activities that aren't formal at all.

I think you sound like you are doing just fine! And I don't think you are pressuring her.

[Cindy]

Not really :)

My own kids at least aren't going to be "pressured" to do anything they don't want to do ;)

I do use the Well trained Mind as a basic outline, and I am very flexible about how I apply it. I spend an hour or so a day on structured activities with my 6 year old, and allow plenty of time for her to persue independant activities. Many mornings she will involve herself in a book or other activity, and I don't pull her away to do lessons. She does enjoy having some structure. During Christmas break we took a couple of weeks off, and very quickly she was asking to "do school" again. She is one of those kids for which learning is like giving her a piece of candy and asking her to eat it. :giggle History and spelling are her favorite subjects. I try to focus more on my child's needs and interests than tryng to make my approach fit a particular "mold".

BTW reading is a powerful tool which allows children to persue their own interests independantly. I think having an early reader fits in very well with a relaxed approach to homeschooling. It also makes any approach to homeschooling a piece of cake. I have had months with dd that all I did for "school" was set her free with a stack of library books on various subjects. :tu

[Marmee]

Unschooling is really just not imposing school on the child. There is nothing wrong with a child asking for workbooks, just as there is nothing wrong with a child hating them. Everyone is different. My dd read at four (I didn't even know she could until a relative gave her a "Dick and Jane Treasury" book and she sat down and read it aloud to a room full of astonished grown ups!) She is a "bookish" and enjoys small motor activites with lots of detail. She is well-suited to more traditional workbooks and the like. I was a strict John Holt fan with lots of ideas on how we would never touch a workbook, she has taught me otherwise and that is fine! On the other hand, I have a special needs toddler who is also a boy, I expect his experience to be entirely different in many (if not every) way. I heard someone once say that there is nothing wrong with homeschooling or parenting "by the book", just realize you will need a different book for each child! How true!

[JessicaTX]

I have one kid who thrives on workbooks, and another one who will sit down about once a month and complete 4, in their entirety. I know with my workbook lover, she really likes having a finished product. She's my checklist kid, everything must be planned and scheduled, so workbooks fit very well into her view of life. (she writes her own schedules every night before she goes to bed :giggle)

The one who will just sit down a do a whole workbook..well I just don't get him lol. He goes from not sitting still for more than 3 minutes, and whining when I ask him how he spellls his name, to sitting down for an hour and churning out pages. :scratch He's happy with it, so I figure it's working for him.

[Chris3jam]

if your child likes workbooks and is the one choosing to do them, you can just follow her lead and still be an unschooler. I agree that maybe it's because she enjoys the closeness, and you can try facilitating that in other ways, but I don't think you need to give them up if she wants to do them. She may enjoy them because they're like puzzles. I always enjoyed workbooks as a child, and now I enjoy crossword puzzles and logic problem books, which are kind of workbooks for adults, when you think about it.

:yes :tu

[Cindy]

I heard someone once say that there is nothing wrong with homeschooling or parenting "by the book", just realize you will need a different book for each child! How true!


Also you may need a different "book" for the same child at different stages of their life. Sometimes they will want more structure and guidance, other times we do best to just stay out of their way ;) I think the best homeschool approaches are dynamic and respect our children's needs as they grow and change.

[slingmamaof4]

My dd read at four (I didn't even know she could until a relative gave her a "Dick and Jane Treasury" book and she sat down and read it aloud to a room full of astonished grown ups!) She is a "bookish" and enjoys small motor activites with lots of detail. She is well-suited to more traditional workbooks and the like. I was a strict John Holt fan with lots of ideas on how we would never touch a workbook, she has taught me otherwise and that is fine!

My dd has that way too. I knew at 2 she was reading a few words, which really surprised me. But I hasd now idea that she could read before she was 4 until one day out of the blue she read me a story. It was a book similiar style to Dick and Jane. And she needed help with a couple words, but still it floored me. I didn't know she knew all her phonics sounds until my sis got her a phonics computer game when she has just turned 3 and I thought it would be too advanced for her. But dd wanted to try. So I sat down with her prepared to help her along and she needed very little help...not with phonics actually, but with patterns that were also on the game. It seems I have no idea she can do something until she can do it pretty well. And then I am like :hunh :jawdrop :eek.



I heard someone once say that there is nothing wrong with homeschooling or parenting "by the book", just realize you will need a different book for each child! How true!


Also you may need a different "book" for the same child at different stages of their life. Sometimes they will want more structure and guidance, other times we do best to just stay out of their way ;) I think the best homeschool approaches are dynamic and respect our children's needs as they grow and change.


I love both of these quotes. So true.

[fourbygrace]

We are very relaxed in our homeschool approach and were pretty much unschooling the second half of last year. I have added a little more directed learning this year and it is going pretty well. I am using Sonlight books for read aloud time and choosing library books that cover topics that I would like them to learn about for science/history as well.

My dd , 6 (in a few hours), loves workbooks. She begs to do them every day including weekends. My ds, 7.5, dislikes workbooks and would much rather do anything else but workbooks. So I agree with the other posters, that unschooling is going to look different for every family and every child.

Blessings,
Mary

[lmgeenw]

Thanks everyone. I am still obviously trying to figure out what works best for my dd. There is just so much information our there. By the time I figure it out, I will have to start all over with my son and my dd will be at a whole different stage. :) The arguments against early formal education seem so strong. On the other hand it is nice to have a daughter who seems to be "ahead." It takes pressure off of me, especially in terms of friends and relatives who are not supportive of HS. After reading The Successful Homeschooling Family Handbook I am concerned that her early reading may lead to problems later. They even go as far as to say to limit reading to 20 minutes a day. I don't want to discourage dd from reading though. And I am finding it difficult to unschool a child who needs lots of routine and consistency. I just need to keep feeling my way through this! Thanks for your comments though!