hbmamma
01-26-2006, 07:28 AM
(I got this through my homeschool group email - thought I'd pass it on to all you) :laughtears
The Dumbest Thing YOU Ever Heard, Part 1 By Mike Farris
My recent column requesting "dumb statements" people had made
regarding home schooling yielded a bumper crop of lols (laugh out
loud) and a few rofls rolling on the floor laughing). I got a
great number of wonderful entries -- far too many to publish.
Today's column is the first of two. Here are half of the top
entries, this week's winners, and my comments interspersed. Here
come the comments.
From Kara Becker:
Our realtor learned we were home schooling. She commented about
the lack of social development that would result, but tried to still
be positive by adding, "Even though they couldn't be realtors, thank
goodness that there are lot of jobs out there which don't require
people skills."
Mike: Thank you, Dale Carnegie (author of "How to Win Friends and
Influence People").
From the Austin family:
A stranger said, "Don't you think your children are being deprived of
the thrill of buying school supplies at Wal-Mart when everyone else
does?"
From Angela Blackman:
A friend who is a paralegal at a very busy law firm said, "How can
you ever t hink you can keep up with having four kids at home?
Don't they just run you off your feet? I'd be exhausted by the end
of the day."
Mike: It is a proven fact that assisting two lawyers is the
equivalent of having six kids or else tending a dozen snakes --
depending on the age of the lawyer.
From Pamela Minerd:
My father asked, "Will I have to bail you out of jail for this?"
From MDT:
My neighbor was picking my brain about getting the public school to
challenge her first grader. She was concerned because my first
grader was already reading while her son of the same age was just
learning the sounds of letters. Nonetheless she challenged my home
schooling saying my son would still miss out. "It's important for
him socially too. He needs to be offered drugs so he can turn them
down." :hunh
From Marci Zinn:
A family member said, "You are just doing this for yourself so you
won't have to buy the kids any school clothes."< br>Mike: Working 8+ hours a
day for 12+ years just smacks of selfishness
if you ask me.
From MDT:
A friend asked, "Do you use books?" :shrug
From Rose Mary Coffey:
When my husband told his mother that we were going to home school,
she replied, "What makes Rose Mary think she has the right to teach
my grandchildren?"
Mike: It's in the same clause of the Constitution which gives
grandmas the right to feed cookies and candy to the grandkids an
hour before being sent home for dinner. :lol
From the Karoutsos Family:
My six year old son was very fidgety in the dentist's chair.
Afterwards the dentist spoke to me and told me of his fidgetiness
and said, "Your son did not sit still. It is possibly due to the
fact that you home school him."
Mike: I guess he thought that dentistry was so boring he would branch
out into child psychology.
From Pam Hynes:
I told an old friend from high school how my son was able to progress
i n each subject at his own rate. She earnestly replied, "What if he
learns it all before he finishes high school?" :think
From the Austin family:
A female public school teacher said, "Your son will turn out to be
much too feminine or gay because you home school him. Being with
his mother so much is not good for boys."
Mike: I guess that spending ages 5 through 12 with female public
school teachers would be better.
From Laurie Winkelmann:
I took my daughter to a podiatrist who specialized in treating
plantar warts. I asked how children contracted these warts. He
told me that they often come from locker rooms or swimming pools.
When I told him that since we home school it wouldn't be a locker
room, but we do take a swimming class, he replied, "Yup, home
schooling, that certainly explains it."
Mike: Sounds like someone needs to breath a little fresh air between
foot examinations.
From Dawn Howey:
A Christian friend, " God didn't homeschool Jesus, He sent Him away
to school."
Mike: I think the friend needs to be sent away to Sunday School.
From Susan Shay:
"Won't they miss out on learning a lot of important stuff? I mean,
how will they ever learn to stand in line?" (Similar statements
were made to Gita Schmitz and Kathi Kearney. All three get tapes.)
Mike: Thank goodness for the rigorous standards of Goals 2000.
From Tracy Pina:
An acquaintance said, "Every kid has to get beat up a few times in
public school or they won't be able to cope in the real world."
Mike: Sticks and stones will break my bones or else I won't be well
rounded.
From Clarence and Barbara Hawkins:
A home school family in our town took their school days off in the
middle of the week to match the father's job schedule. Some nosey
neighbors had the family investigated for home schooling on Saturday!
Mike: Reminds me of the social services case I had in Alab ama where a
mother was hotlined for allowing her children to read books in the
back of the van while she drove around town.
From MDT:
A friend said, "MY child is being a light in a dark place, but I
guess SOME children are not able to do that."
Mike: With that much condescension that lady probably fogs up her
own glasses.
From Michelle Nichols:
A woman asked a home school friend of mine, "If you don't send your
children to school, who is going to teach them their morals?"
Mike: Yeah, like the moral necessity of beating up other kids on the
playground if we are to believe another comment we read.
From Barb Palmer:
Our girls' friends from the neighborhood ask, "If you are home
schooled, who teaches you?"
From the Austin family:
A friend said, "Won't your children miss the experience of the goods
and bads of dating people from other cultural and religious
backgrounds?"
From Char Brady:
A mother f rom my daughter's former public school class said, "If you
were more involved in your child's education, then you wouldn't have
to home school." :hunh
From MDT:
An acquaintance asked, "How can you possibly give them enough
one-on-one time?" :hunh :scratch
Mike (stolen from MDT): I guess the kids would get more one-on-one
time in a classroom of 30.
From "Ozchick":
A friend asked me what we were going to do during a public school
snow day. I replied that we were going ahead with school. The friend
replied, "That's silly. Why make your kids work since no one will be
around to grade their papers?" Not to be outdone, that same friend
heard me describe how I was teaching my children baking from the
Colonial period. A recent project was making a cake from
scratch. She replied, "Where can I buy a box of scratch,
I've never heard of it?"
From Nancy Persaud
(although this comment is not within the rules of the contest as
Nancy recognized , it is too good to pass up): From a 5th grade
geography textbook, "Maps are smaller than the areas they represent."
From Dana Estes:
A friend said, "I could NEVER home school my children. I can't
imagine spending that much time with them." She is a public school
teacher.
~~~~~~~~
"Learning... should be a joy and full of excitement. It is life's greatest
adventure; it is an illustrated excursion into the mind of noble and learned
men, not a conducted tour through a jail." -- Taylor Caldwell, English novelist
The Dumbest Thing YOU Ever Heard, Part 1 By Mike Farris
My recent column requesting "dumb statements" people had made
regarding home schooling yielded a bumper crop of lols (laugh out
loud) and a few rofls rolling on the floor laughing). I got a
great number of wonderful entries -- far too many to publish.
Today's column is the first of two. Here are half of the top
entries, this week's winners, and my comments interspersed. Here
come the comments.
From Kara Becker:
Our realtor learned we were home schooling. She commented about
the lack of social development that would result, but tried to still
be positive by adding, "Even though they couldn't be realtors, thank
goodness that there are lot of jobs out there which don't require
people skills."
Mike: Thank you, Dale Carnegie (author of "How to Win Friends and
Influence People").
From the Austin family:
A stranger said, "Don't you think your children are being deprived of
the thrill of buying school supplies at Wal-Mart when everyone else
does?"
From Angela Blackman:
A friend who is a paralegal at a very busy law firm said, "How can
you ever t hink you can keep up with having four kids at home?
Don't they just run you off your feet? I'd be exhausted by the end
of the day."
Mike: It is a proven fact that assisting two lawyers is the
equivalent of having six kids or else tending a dozen snakes --
depending on the age of the lawyer.
From Pamela Minerd:
My father asked, "Will I have to bail you out of jail for this?"
From MDT:
My neighbor was picking my brain about getting the public school to
challenge her first grader. She was concerned because my first
grader was already reading while her son of the same age was just
learning the sounds of letters. Nonetheless she challenged my home
schooling saying my son would still miss out. "It's important for
him socially too. He needs to be offered drugs so he can turn them
down." :hunh
From Marci Zinn:
A family member said, "You are just doing this for yourself so you
won't have to buy the kids any school clothes."< br>Mike: Working 8+ hours a
day for 12+ years just smacks of selfishness
if you ask me.
From MDT:
A friend asked, "Do you use books?" :shrug
From Rose Mary Coffey:
When my husband told his mother that we were going to home school,
she replied, "What makes Rose Mary think she has the right to teach
my grandchildren?"
Mike: It's in the same clause of the Constitution which gives
grandmas the right to feed cookies and candy to the grandkids an
hour before being sent home for dinner. :lol
From the Karoutsos Family:
My six year old son was very fidgety in the dentist's chair.
Afterwards the dentist spoke to me and told me of his fidgetiness
and said, "Your son did not sit still. It is possibly due to the
fact that you home school him."
Mike: I guess he thought that dentistry was so boring he would branch
out into child psychology.
From Pam Hynes:
I told an old friend from high school how my son was able to progress
i n each subject at his own rate. She earnestly replied, "What if he
learns it all before he finishes high school?" :think
From the Austin family:
A female public school teacher said, "Your son will turn out to be
much too feminine or gay because you home school him. Being with
his mother so much is not good for boys."
Mike: I guess that spending ages 5 through 12 with female public
school teachers would be better.
From Laurie Winkelmann:
I took my daughter to a podiatrist who specialized in treating
plantar warts. I asked how children contracted these warts. He
told me that they often come from locker rooms or swimming pools.
When I told him that since we home school it wouldn't be a locker
room, but we do take a swimming class, he replied, "Yup, home
schooling, that certainly explains it."
Mike: Sounds like someone needs to breath a little fresh air between
foot examinations.
From Dawn Howey:
A Christian friend, " God didn't homeschool Jesus, He sent Him away
to school."
Mike: I think the friend needs to be sent away to Sunday School.
From Susan Shay:
"Won't they miss out on learning a lot of important stuff? I mean,
how will they ever learn to stand in line?" (Similar statements
were made to Gita Schmitz and Kathi Kearney. All three get tapes.)
Mike: Thank goodness for the rigorous standards of Goals 2000.
From Tracy Pina:
An acquaintance said, "Every kid has to get beat up a few times in
public school or they won't be able to cope in the real world."
Mike: Sticks and stones will break my bones or else I won't be well
rounded.
From Clarence and Barbara Hawkins:
A home school family in our town took their school days off in the
middle of the week to match the father's job schedule. Some nosey
neighbors had the family investigated for home schooling on Saturday!
Mike: Reminds me of the social services case I had in Alab ama where a
mother was hotlined for allowing her children to read books in the
back of the van while she drove around town.
From MDT:
A friend said, "MY child is being a light in a dark place, but I
guess SOME children are not able to do that."
Mike: With that much condescension that lady probably fogs up her
own glasses.
From Michelle Nichols:
A woman asked a home school friend of mine, "If you don't send your
children to school, who is going to teach them their morals?"
Mike: Yeah, like the moral necessity of beating up other kids on the
playground if we are to believe another comment we read.
From Barb Palmer:
Our girls' friends from the neighborhood ask, "If you are home
schooled, who teaches you?"
From the Austin family:
A friend said, "Won't your children miss the experience of the goods
and bads of dating people from other cultural and religious
backgrounds?"
From Char Brady:
A mother f rom my daughter's former public school class said, "If you
were more involved in your child's education, then you wouldn't have
to home school." :hunh
From MDT:
An acquaintance asked, "How can you possibly give them enough
one-on-one time?" :hunh :scratch
Mike (stolen from MDT): I guess the kids would get more one-on-one
time in a classroom of 30.
From "Ozchick":
A friend asked me what we were going to do during a public school
snow day. I replied that we were going ahead with school. The friend
replied, "That's silly. Why make your kids work since no one will be
around to grade their papers?" Not to be outdone, that same friend
heard me describe how I was teaching my children baking from the
Colonial period. A recent project was making a cake from
scratch. She replied, "Where can I buy a box of scratch,
I've never heard of it?"
From Nancy Persaud
(although this comment is not within the rules of the contest as
Nancy recognized , it is too good to pass up): From a 5th grade
geography textbook, "Maps are smaller than the areas they represent."
From Dana Estes:
A friend said, "I could NEVER home school my children. I can't
imagine spending that much time with them." She is a public school
teacher.
~~~~~~~~
"Learning... should be a joy and full of excitement. It is life's greatest
adventure; it is an illustrated excursion into the mind of noble and learned
men, not a conducted tour through a jail." -- Taylor Caldwell, English novelist