Can a child be overscheduled??

[WI Mama05]

As some may know, I just spent a week with my B&SIL and their 4 (almost 5) mo baby boy. They are doing BabyWise :banghead. I've never spent a huge amount of time with them before, but I'm wondering if you can over schedule a baby?

Reason I'm asking is b/c their son NEVER seemed happy for ANY length of time. He was on the "eat, play, sleep" schedule constantly :no2. There was rarely any room for him to just be by himself and breathe. Either he was eating or sleeping or someone was holding him playing with him (read: in his face).

I don't know if it's just differences in kids, but my DD usually had downtime for herself. She wasn't scheduled - she wouldn't go for that :D. She pretty much gave us her cues and we did what we needed to, KWIM?

Can they be overscheduling him? :shrug

Oh, and the CIO - Oh My Goodness!!!!! They started this when he was 5 weeks old! He STILL cries himself to sleep EVERY TIME! It's so :bheart! I had nowhere to go and I seriously think it affected me by the end of the week. I felt somewhat detatched from things from listening to all the crying - does that make sense?

Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble... :grin

[Aerynne]

:bheart How sad! I think kids absolutely need time just to be themselves. Of course you have to go by the baby's cues (which babywise is not even remotely about). That must have been hard to watch/hear. :banghead

[Tulip_Plus_3]

I had my kids on the eat, play, sleep schedule from Day 1 (with extra feedings/nursings thrown in, of course!). It was a gentle schedule, but nevertheless I had to stick to it religiously. My kids rarely ever cried. I don't think the crying your little nephew is doing is related to the schedule. It is probably related to being overstimulated. I was very careful not to overstimulate my babies. They had a good mix of mommy time, toys & floor gym time, and sit & look at the world time (aka "downtime"). If they fell asleep before their scheduled naptime it was no big deal to me, I never tried to keep them awake just to hit an arbitrary go-to-sleep time. That's nuts.

(Lest anyone get the wrong idea, I *NEVER* let my kids CIOI! They were always nursed down for naps & bedtime, and/or held during naps & the first part of their nightsleep. I also co-slept with them.)

[Katigre]

Yeah, i think babies need some downtime on their own just like everyone else. But i distinctly remember a portion of Ezzo talking about the glories of 'playpen time' to make the baby independent and play alone? Since they're so gung-ho about the rest of his stuff i'm surprised they're not implementing that too.

[Dizzy Blond]

I felt somewhat detatched from things from listening to all the crying - does that make sense?

Your B & SIL are also detached. And so is your nephew. :bheart That's a big reason he's not happy. He doesn't know that he'll get love and nourishment when he needs it.

I do think he needs some quiet time to himself, but the only time he does get it is when he's hungry but being ignored.

[hsgbdmama]

:bheart How awful! Yes, he is overscheduled and at times overstimulated, poor thing. He gets no control over his little world -- primarily the play time -- he should be able to be on the floor or in a playpen just playing without having someone constantly in his face, plus he should have some say when he is done. With him being completely at the mercy of **their** schedule, he cannot really count on them to truly meet his needs.

Tulip -- with triplets, ITTTTTTTU :mrgreen that you need to be on some sort of schedule (in order to maintain sanity in your home), but you also use common sense and are attuned to your dc's needs. :hug The Ezzo stuff is very parent-centered :td, which is completely different than your situation.

[Irene]

Yeah, i think babies need some downtime on their own just like everyone else. But i distinctly remember a portion of Ezzo talking about the glories of 'playpen time' to make the baby independent and play alone? Since they're so gung-ho about the rest of his stuff i'm surprised they're not implementing that too.
yeah that was my thought too... hes so big on independance and they need to be alone in playpen time and highchair time and couch time for mom and dad etc etc blah blah blah...

i do think they can be overscheduled and overstimulated.... and that could be why hes so unhappy, and also detached :bheart he could also be high needs :shrug Ezzo doesnt ever acknowledge that though :(

[WI Mama05]

I've never read any Ezzo in full, so I didn't know that about the playpen time. They are the kind of parents that watch the clock all the time. "oh you're fussing, let me see, you CAN'T be tired yet, you haven't been up long enough. You just ate 2.5 hrs ago, so you CAN'T be hungry..... :banghead" It's frustrating.

[Irene]

oh i see... yeah he could definitly be fussy if hes hungry or tired and they arent putting him to bed or feeding him... poor little guy :(

[Radosny Matka]

I only met one family who followed babywise to the T. I really am not sure how to describe the child - lifeless maybe. He was 18 months old and had no spark at all. It was so sad. :cry

My sister started using CIO with her dd at 3 months. :cry At 20 months, she still cries to sleep.

[joyfulmomof2]

:pray :bheart :banghead

[Wholly Mama]

My sister started using CIO with her dd at 3 months. :cry At 20 months, she still cries to sleep.


Isn't it interesting...
You know how all of these "methods" speak of sleep associations? Well, I guess if you teach a child to associate sleep with crying, "they'll be crying themselves to sleep until they go to college..." (instead of nursing, that is)

How sad for that baby. :no2

[Carrie in PA]

:cry :bheart

Ezzo is soooo harmful!!!!!!! Whatever good anybody gets out of that book (if there IS anything good!) doesn't even come close to making up for the damage done! Poor little baby! :cry

[Lois]

this is interesting cause when I was in HS and College I would rock myself to sleep...yeah crazy...but it really soothed me and helped my body relax and I came to find out later that I was not the only one with "self rocking" habits and that's it's linked to not being rocked or moved enough as a baby!! Explains alot cause my older sister and I were born close together so I am sure I was on my own alot and my mom did not do babywearing so I am guess that I didn't get that much motion and ALSO I have a flat part of the back of my head still and my guess is that it's because I was on my back alot!