Co- sleeping and step parents

[Dana Joy]

i gradually moved dd and ds ages 8 and 6 out of my room when i got together with dh, it just did not feel right at the time to have them sleeping in the same room as a non biologically related man. they did great- they like sleeping with each other- i cuddle them to sleep, but every once in a while they talk about missing sleeping with me and say they wish they were Jesse for that reason. one time when shae, the baby and i were away for a cheer event kevi slept with dh and loved it. last night dd asked to sleep with us, and this is the first time dh has heard that she wanted too. ( i just never thought to bring it up) he told me he thought it would be ok once or twice a week- (there is no where else for dh and i to have intimacy if we let it happen too much- remember there are 7 kids that live with us).
so do you think it is ok? my gut says yes, but i have some friends that think it is a horrible idea for dd- (ds they think is fine) my friends think that because i have never been hurt as a child i just don't see the danger, but they have, (one by her stepdad with mom in the room) so they are more aware they say. any thoughts?

[Joanne]

Personally, no. I would not initiate co sleeping with a step parent given the age of the children.

[DogwoodMama]

I agree with Joanne.

I think with kids that age, maybe you could plan a special sleepover with *them*, in their room, if they want you to sleep with them... maybe sleeping bags on the floor, play games or read stories? Perhaps you could spend the first part of the night with them (and have your youngest with you) then return to your own bed?

[expatmom]

Yeah, I agree & was going to suggest what BetsyPage suggested. How about special sleepovers in their own room, or after a special movie night?

[phathui5]

You're there too right? (It's not just him and them?) If they're sleeping with the two of you, I don't see anything wrong with it. It might be worse to leave them out because them you've got more of the "He's not your real dad" thing happening.

[Dana Joy]

You're there too right? (It's not just him and them?) If they're sleeping with the two of you, I don't see anything wrong with it. It might be worse to leave them out because them you've got more of the "He's not your real dad" thing happening.

thats kinda another thing that worries me i don't want them saying- we got to cuddle mom all night until he came along. right now they seem to "blame" the baby (not in a bad way - just they don't want to be awakened at night)
if we did it i would always be there- they may not even really be on the bed- the matress is on the floor with a crib mattress next to it (in theory for baby bit he rarely lays there), so they would probably end up on the floor by our heads.
oh and i like all of the other ideas too- i guess i'll have to get out of my comfort zone for the kids sake- i cannot sleep anywhere but my own bed, but i should cope once or twice a week for them