Learninggentleness
09-18-2005, 10:28 AM
I am having a hard time going to my church with my nursing baby girl. I am the only one I know of at church who wears a sling, breastfeeds on demand, and basically follows attachment parenting. I know there are probably others there who do this also, but I just don't know who they are. My daughter can't stay calm in church (she's only five months...I wouldn't expect her to stay calm anyway) , especially when there will be sudden noises (the organ, the whole congregation belting out a hymn, or just the sudden laughter of the crowd at something the pastor may have said, etc.). She gets tired, so I sometimes have nursed her to sleep in my sling and then sit outside on benches with my husband. But, then I have many people who are outside staring at me off and on the whole time :hissyfit. I don't want to go to church to be some sort of spectacle. I am a very private person with a tendency towards being an introvert.
I know that there are those who would say that I can be an example to others at church but honestly I'm not at that point yet. I am somewhat new to attachment parenting myself, I'm going through a lot of personal issues, and there is just too much on my plate to be an "example" to others. I hope that doesn't sound selfish...it's just how I feel right now. My husband and son went to church without me :( because I didn't feel comfortable going.
By the way, the nursing room is not something that is appealing to me at all: the women who nurse in there often talk amongst themselves or act in a nervous/uncomfortable manner towards the other women. AND, we can't even listen to the message being preached because either the Mom's are talking too much so I can't hear it, someone doesn't know how to turn it on (some mysterious button on a random phone in the room has the capacity to play the message for us but most don't know what button to press, including me), or the sound is coming in horribly.
I can't leave my daughter in the nursery - she can't handle being away from me for very long, she will need to nurse and/or sleep and obviously needs me to help her with both, they don't have a paging system to let me know she needs me, and she doesn't use a pacifier or bottles.
I am at a loss as to what to do about all this :shrug :sa I want to go to church, but it's hard for me when I do. And even if I am outside listening to the message, I am very distracted by the going's on outside (people milling around, noises, Amber needing my attention, etc.) and sometimes I can't even hear what's being said. I feel very disconnected from everything going on in the sanctuary as well.
I know that there are those who would say that I can be an example to others at church but honestly I'm not at that point yet. I am somewhat new to attachment parenting myself, I'm going through a lot of personal issues, and there is just too much on my plate to be an "example" to others. I hope that doesn't sound selfish...it's just how I feel right now. My husband and son went to church without me :( because I didn't feel comfortable going.
By the way, the nursing room is not something that is appealing to me at all: the women who nurse in there often talk amongst themselves or act in a nervous/uncomfortable manner towards the other women. AND, we can't even listen to the message being preached because either the Mom's are talking too much so I can't hear it, someone doesn't know how to turn it on (some mysterious button on a random phone in the room has the capacity to play the message for us but most don't know what button to press, including me), or the sound is coming in horribly.
I can't leave my daughter in the nursery - she can't handle being away from me for very long, she will need to nurse and/or sleep and obviously needs me to help her with both, they don't have a paging system to let me know she needs me, and she doesn't use a pacifier or bottles.
I am at a loss as to what to do about all this :shrug :sa I want to go to church, but it's hard for me when I do. And even if I am outside listening to the message, I am very distracted by the going's on outside (people milling around, noises, Amber needing my attention, etc.) and sometimes I can't even hear what's being said. I feel very disconnected from everything going on in the sanctuary as well.