A heart change

[SandKsmama]

I've realized this week that even with all my struggles with GBD, that I truly have had a heart change towards my children and discipline. I was at my best friend's house this week and she was telling me about an ongoing discipline issue with her daughter - and she kept repeating "but I WILL be in control in my home...I *have* to have control, or this house will be in chaos."

And I realized that 2 years ago, I sounded exactly like that. I may have given "lip service" to reaching my children's heart, but in reality, I wanted the *control*. I also realized that my heart towards my children has changed. I don't see them any longer as objects to be controlled, but rather as fellow humans *desperately* in need of God's grace, just like me, who mess up and fail, just like me. I want to disciple them - to lead them to the cross, rather than just "fix" their behavior.

Yeah! :-)
Amanda

[mom2threePKs]

:amen :amen and :amen

I have to agree wiht you completely! That has been the biggest change for me as well. I can't describe the difference in my relationship with my oldest daughter. We still have our spats but more often than not I am able to diffuse the situation before it gets out of hand. Why? Because i am not nearly as interested in controling and winning. I am much more compassionate and kind to her.

It is truly, truly, truly the most beautiful concrete expression of God's Grace in my life!

Thanks for putting your expereince into words. My in laws are coming over for dinner tonight which is fine it just means a day that is very task oriented. This is a great mind set to have with my kiddos while I am trying to get the cooking and shopping done!

Magan

[amytech]

Amanda,
I could have written your post years ago. I agree so much-when I gave up the them-vs.me and I MUST win attitude, things changed dramatically.
The heart attitude is the key. I have learned so much about different personalities and their needs since being open to GBD. If I was still in my mode of rules, winning and "training" in a negative sense, I would have missed out on what my children each need. They are all different and have different needs from me. God made them that way!! They are not here on this earth to be like me!Thanks for posting! :)

[ArmsOfLove]

Amanda--that is so beautiful. Thank you :heart

It's really hard to give up that need for control because the opposite is, as your friend pointed out, chaos--and no one wants that! But when you view it as internal/self control and you control the one you're intended to--or, rather, ask the Holy Spirit to produce that fruit in your life, then things get really good :)

[MomToDM]

Very well said, I'm still working on changing my attitude towards control. :grin

[Maggie]

Amanda, that's so wonderful!!! :heart That's why I'm so glad that God led us to gentle discipline! I have a major tendency to want to control people and my surroundings. :( And I think that if I were punitive, it would just be so horrible for the kids. So, :ptl Thanks be to God!!!

[asher]

What an inspiring thought! Thank you!

Tina

[mrsramjet]

you don't realize how you used to think until you hear someone else and think :eek that's not me anymore!

isn't it cool????? :peace