Must we co-sleep to be AP?

[Gentle Journey]

We co-sleep for around the first two months. Then, when baby is waking less and I'm feeling more rested, we start by putting baby down in thier crib, but then coming into our bed at the first feeding. Then, around 4 months, they usually go to one feeding and they do the whole night in their crib. If they start waking again a lot, we usually go back to just bringing them at the first feed. This works well for us. Even now, if my 20 month old has a bad night and is crying, we bring him in or if he wakes at like 6am or something. DD comes in our room sometimes, and that's ok. We don't cry it out and there's never been much protest. This is just what works for us and everyone is happy. Are we wrong?

[mamaKristin]

I vote no...you aren't wrong. AP (in my opinion) is doing what is best for your child...and family. If you need to sleep apart for everyone to get good rest, then that's what you do. If everyone is happy, then you are doing well.

[Wonder Woman]

no...the whole philosophy behind AP is meeting the needs of everyone in your family. My dear IRL gentle AP mama friend never sosleeps full-time past about 6 weeks. But,her dc are always welcome in her bed anytime. And she has firmly attached, delightful kiddos!

[greenemama]

where everyone sleeps best is where everyone should sleep. that's what most AP mamas believe. :grin

have confidence, mama! :tu

[Soliloquy]

Nope!!! :tu

[Soliloquy]

I just wanted to add,

If a parent is not comfortable with the idea of bedsharing, remember the key is close proximity and responsiveness to the infant's nighttime needs.

this is from http://attachmentparenting.org/idealsleep.shtml

You are responding to your family's needs. You don't need to worry about a label or whether you're doing anything "right." :tu

[Gentle Journey]

Ok, yay! I feel so much better. I felt like I was somehow failing my kids by not co-sleeping. Now if I can just figure out how to get him to fall asleep on his own..........

[GodisGood]

Nope! You're doing great! :tu

[Gentle Journey]

:)

[BeckaBlue]

I agree w/ pp's, until about december or so we were doing the same thing! (now it's just easier for nik to sleep w/ us FT) girls still sleep in their beds, but can come in if needed/wanted

[TheSweetLife]

I agree with everyone else too.

We don't co-sleep either, in fact it is very rare that dd will fall asleep in our bed at all, even if we try to put her in there with us, she thinks its play time or just whines until we put her back in her crib.

When she was really little we would co-sleep sometimes or I just had her bassinett right next to my side of the bed so when she started to wake up I could just nurse her and then put her back in her bassinett.

[DogwoodMama]

I don't think anyone should co-sleep out of guilt or the desire to be more "AP"... I think you should seek to find what works for your family while being reponsive to the child's needs. :) (Not speaking to anyone in particular, just my general thoughts)

[Radosny Matka]

Absolutely not! AP is different for every family. I didn't cosleep with my first, but he was definately AP'd. :grin

[RealLifeMama]

I do not think it is necessarily a necessity to be AP, and mostly agree with what others have said.
I wouldn't do anything for the sake of a label.
However, I know for us, it was a necessity to facilitate attachment with my daughter, if that makes sense.
I found that the things like co-sleeping, cue feeding and babywearing and such were important to me to help me become a responsive parent and have effective communication.

To me, what you were doing is pretty much cosleeping for all practical purposes, though.
Even if it weren't I wouldn't think you weren't AP, and really that is just a label anyway. I am just saying that to me it is more then just being what is right for your child, it is doing what will facilitate the connection. I hate to see people belittle the tenents of AP because they are important. I wouldn't have had the same type of relationship with my children had I not done most of those things. Does that make any sense to anyone, LOL? Maybe someone else can say it better. :rolleyes at myself and my lack of communication skills.

Anyway, it sounds like you are a responsive parent and I am sure your sleeping arrangements are just fine!

[Gentle Journey]

Thanks:)

[MomToDM]

I think if it works for your family and you are responding to her consistently then that is what is best for your family. That is what AP is about, its not really a list of dos and don'ts, KWIM? JMO