I can't believe a mother said this about her own children!!!

[purplerose]

I was talking to my neighbor (A) today, who is a Christian, btw, and she has 4 children. She was telling me about how our other neighber(b), also a Christian (who is also AP/babywearer/natural childbirth instructor/bf'er), who has 5 kids and wants more. I told neighbor A that I thought it was great that neighbor B wanted to have more kids. Neighbor A started going on and on about how much money they cost, what a burnden they are.......blah blah blah. She said she told Neighbor B to really really think about what she's doing before she has more!!!!!!!!! :eek I told Neighbor A that some people want big families and money isn't a concern, that kids don't need to have all the material things.........they need parents who love and care for them. And she was like "yeah, well, that's a bunch of crap and looking back now, I wish I would've only had two kids and not four!" :td :cry How sad! It just made me so sad for her children. The sad thing is that I really think she meant it. She says she can't wait for the youngest to get into school so she can "get her life back". Just sad sad sad!! :banghead Why do people have children if they don't want them and feel that they are nothing but a burden!!!!!!!!!!!! :shrug

[ArmsOfLove]

I am so sad for that woman and her children :( I wonder if her marriage is in trouble and she's blaming the children?

[motherwqsalways4]

it's sad for the children :cry
I also feel bad because so many women would love to have only one or maybe more and they would love to be in her position.

We need more neighbor B's in our christian walk. I wished I would had one!

[Leslie]

And she was like "yeah, well, that's a bunch of c--p and looking back now, I wish I would've only had two kids and not four!"

Why do people have children if they don't want them and feel that they are nothing but a burden!!!!!!!!!!!! :shrug


And why do people think they have an obligation to make sure everyone else has the same stinky attitude about their kids that they do?? If neighbor B is happy and wants more kids, then why should neighbor A try to spoil that for her?? :mad

[booboo]

I can't believe someone would say that at all! Your "own life" is dedicated to raising children now! Yes, I'd like more "me time" every now and then. And sometimes I'm on the computer when I should be cleaning house. Okay every time I'm on the computer I should be cleaning house. :O

But I think, I'm #5 of 6 kids myself. Whether or not my parents regret "having me" is another issue.

My 2nd child is a real handful and I learned I was pregnant with her when dd #1 was just a year old. No regrets there and I'd like at least one more if it's God's Will, or more if God wants. I think of my life as His, and I feel blessed with my two girls, even with the news that my oldest is a special needs child. (still going through the tests to find out exactly but definitely something is up) They are not burdens; on the contrary all that me time I get in can be more of the burden. I need to pray to be less selfish and think more of others.

What an honor to be called to be a servant to children, just as Christ came to serve and welcomed every child who came to Him! :smile

[GodisGood]

She sounds like she's going through something deeper. Maybe dh isn't supportive or she isn't getting enough defuse time. Sounds like she needs a lot of supportive prayers.

[herbalwriter]

WHenever I hear people talk about getting their lives back when their children are gone, I think of my 90 year old grandmother in a nursing home. Now she really has all the "me time" she wants, and I know she'd trade it all in a heartbeat to be a young mom raising kids again. It's not wise to wish away our current circumstances, because someday we will long for these days again, and we shouldn't squander our precious time grumbling and waiting with the "as soon as ____ happens, I will have my life to myself." I don't think we really want our lives totally to ourselves! that's what my grandmother has, and she is very unhappy. I think neighbor A (that was the complaining one, right?) needs to redeem the time!

[tree_hugger]

That is so sad. :bheart Like the others have said, there must be some big issues happening for her to feel that way about her children. :(

[mamaKristin]

that is so sad...for her and her kids. :sad2 I wonder what has made her think that way, and I hope that one day (really soon) that her heart will be changed towards her family.

[This Busy Mom]

That sounds like she is very depressed. Somethings definitely going on deeper.

[KingsDaughter76]

So sad! Prayers for that mom!

[hsgbdmama]

It's not wise to wish away our current circumstances, because someday we will long for these days again, and we shouldn't squander our precious time grumbling and waiting with the "as soon as ____ happens, I will have my life to myself."

That is EXACTLY what I remind myself of when I don't feel like doing something (when I'm feeling selfish and inconvienenced :( ) ...

... there's going to be a time when he won't need me to cover him back up in the middle of the night
... there's going to be a time when he won't want me to come see what he did
... there's going to be a time when he won't want me to help him with _____________.
... there's going to be a time when he won't ask me to read him a story.
... there's going to be a time when he won't want to hold my hand anymore. :hissyfit

When I remind myself of these things, I stop feeling selfish and inconvenienced, and put on my attitude of servanthood. :praise Now I'm more than happy to help!!!

:heart

[herbalwriter]

What a wonderful attitude, Jodi B.! :) It made me tear up to read your lines...so true. When ds was going through a really needy time, and I was getting impatient with having to nurse him back to sleep constantly, I told myself that someday I would long to be able to solve all of his problems with a simple nursing session. That was when he was about 7 months. (He's 10 months now.)

[DebraBaker]

I have eight children and my youngest is finishing Kindergarten and will be going into first grade in the fall.

I get to finally go to college.

I can understand enjoying some of the freedoms that come with having children grow up a little but I could never understand the negative attitudes toward children, especially from people who already had large families. I remember being pregnant and getting a lot of "better you than me" comments from these (Christian) people. I'd get a lot of negativity.

I knew Julianna was going to be my last and I'm not pining away for another baby like I did before I had Julianna but I made a point of *enjoying* every stage of her life especially because she was my last. Perhaps because I love her and want to be her mommy but also when she moves into the next more independent stages of her life I have something to enjoy without her (getting my education and eventually having my career)

I really do not understand parents who make y comments in front of their children. I have done this with my boys a couple of times and way slayed with warrented guilt. What does it do to a child to hear their mother verbally tear them apart??

:banghead This seems to be so accepted in many circles :doh :hissyfit anyway you do have the ap gentle neighbor to balance the other.

Debra Baker