How can I teach him to do things on his own?

[Radosny Matka]

This could also belong on Little Explorers, but anyway... How can I teach my almost 4 year old to do things by himself? He does little for himself. He still won't even take off his socks, never mind pants, shirts, shoes. :rolleyes He at least is starting to help me pull up and down his pants at potty time. He is more than capable of doing it, he just wants me to do it for him. I guess I have always just done it, but now how do I teach him to do some of these things himself?

[ArmsOfLove]

I'd start by saying you realize he can do them and you want him to--and make it all positive. You can do them together so you do them for you while he does them for him; you can get him involved with helping do stuff for the baby; you can put on a song and have him race the song; you can be his cheerleader while he's doing them :)

[lmgeenw]

My four year old is the same way. She never even went through toddler "do it myself" stage. Sometimes it helps to make a game of it and see how fast she can do it. We have a rule in our house that we don't go outside or to the store or anything until we are dressed with shoes and coat on. It only took once of her missing out on something to realize that she needed to get dressed the next time I asked her. On days when we aren't going anywhere, I just let her stay in her pajamas. It isn't worth the battle. The last couple weeks my daughter has been getting dressed, and putting her own coat and shoes on everyday because she loves to play outside now that it is warm.
I also taught her how to put her coat down on the floor upside down to get it on and she loves to do this and see if she can get her hood on too.

[prayerbear]

Is he doing it because of his younger brother?

maybe he either just expects it because you do things for baby or maybe he wants you to do it because of baby??

In which case I think trying to do it with him and chatting while you do it may be helpful so he finds that time with you as he learns and then you can begin to use your voice as a motivator while your near him.

Kinda making him like your buddy but you have to start with him and then move outward.

perhaps

[godsgracegiven]

ds was a little past four when he started getting himself dressed and going through the "do it myself" stage. So maybe, for some it is normal.???? Dh was the one who got him to start dressing himself. One day dh was dressing him and asked ds if he thought he could put his sock on. So ds tried and he did it, he was so thrilled that he did it, he has been doing it since. But even though he does know how to do it he does ask for help form time to time. :)

[akmyilee]

We use a timer, you have to be careful with this one but Kyle thinks that it is fun to win....as in beat the timer completing a task, I also, ALWAYS give him a really long time to do said task so that he can do it in his own time. If he doesn't get it done by the time the timer goes off, I say "oh darn" timer won and help him finish the said task, usually it is getting dressed and I have him like 10 minutes to put on a shirt and pants. hth