Sibling's Response to Crying Baby - Spin Off

[cornflower]

In a recent thread, Elizabeth (elcollins) shared an anecdote about watching an Ezzo-friends children. She shared this:

my girls exploded. "THE BABY IS CRYING!" called the then four yo and the 7yo had already run down the hall to comfort the baby. They made it very clear that CIO was 'not acceptable'. [The baby's] big brother and sister didn't even move a muscle. Big sister said "mom just lets her cry" but didn't look away from the TV.


Stories about children's reactions to crying babies have always caught my eye. Dr. Sears talks about one of his preteen/teenage sons comforting the baby before Martha could even get there. The first time I read about that, I was so pleased by this "un-intentional" advantage of attachment parenting: The advantage of showing our children how to care for others who are in need. :)

I had never before examined the flip-side of this. Elizabeth's story made me realize the potential damage being done to siblings' empathy barometers in Ezzo families. Ezzo parents, like most Christian parents, try to teach their children to love and serve others... but isn't the very nature of Ezzo parenting modeling the exact opposite? Or, at the very least, modeling that a human being must be of a certain age before they are worthy of being loved and served?

Yet another thing for me to be sad about when I see Ezzo families IRL. Of course, this also gives me one more concrete item to pray for these families, too. :heart

[Cindy]

That is an excellent point!

My daughter was almost 5 years old when my son was born. I realised that she would be watching and learning from me as I cared for her little brother... how's that for pressure? :eek

[erinee]

I knew I was doing some right when Zach was 4 and got to his crying baby sister before me and gently stroked her head and sang "I'll Love You Forever" to her. Sad that some parents may not get to see moments like that, because they're teaching their kids to ignore each other's needs. :(

[DebraBaker]

My older children have been very nurturing of the younger ones.

Even when my firstborn was a shade under two when baby 2 came into our family I heard Jennifer crying in our bedroom and by the time I got to the hallway Jessica had picked her up and was in the process of carrying her in to me.

I had to tell Jessica that she was too young to safely pick up and carry Jennifer but it made my heart glad that her heart was to respond to her crying.

With Julianna, Jeanette is very proud that she was the third person to get to hold Julianna (me first, dh second, Jeanette third) About the only people I trust my children with is my other children.

In fact, with their approval (of course) if anything should happen to dh and me the children will have custody of one another.

db

[Katherine]

There is nothing that wraps itself around my heart like seeing my children loving on each other! (Of course, I have boys, so it usually ends in a wrestling match.. :lol)

It's an amazing amount of power, isn't it? Our kids imitate our actions.. for better or worse. So if we hit and yell, so do they. On the other hand, teaching them compassion and gentleness is often accomplished by just doing it ourselves. :hearts I find that encouraging.

[Miss Priss]

:tu
Good point.
It thrills me all over to see these things in my children. I remember my first, who was 22 months at the time, lying on the floor and pulling up her shirt to nurse her 3 month old sister who had just started to fuss.
With the current baby, all three of his sisters are attentive to him... this past week he started reaching for them to pick him up like he reaches for me and his Dad. :hearts

[2TMama]

Yes, it's touching to see children respond like this.

[Allison]

THat's so true. My older son will run into my younger son's room when he wakes from a nap if my hands are, say, cutting raw meat or in the sink washing dishes, while I wash up quickly. He goes in and talks in a baby voice and tells him that mommy is coming and asks if he's had a nice nap. If Alex is crying for any other reason, while I comfort him, Drew will also try to comfort him. They are 25 months apart and Drew's been doing that since the day we brought Alex home from the hospital.

[mom2_AthruZ]

Both of our girls are very attentive to Emily. Just this morning I was switching the laundry and Emily started to cry. I was hurrying and then I heard her stop and turned to find my 9yo holding her and talking sweetly to her. I am si glad to have learned about AP and GBD so that both can be passed on and bless any grandchildren I might onr day have. :hearts

[CelticJourney]

Changing the subject - where were those cute ticker-tape things like readingmama used when mine were babies? I nurse dd1 for thee years until dd2 was born and then nursed her two and a half years! I think I know how all of you felt that lost thousands of posts! Not significant in the real world, but gee....


Ok, back to original programing

[LikeADimMirror]

my girls exploded. "THE BABY IS CRYING!" called the then four yo and the 7yo had already run down the hall to comfort the baby. They made it very clear that CIO was 'not acceptable'. [The baby's] big brother and sister didn't even move a muscle. Big sister said "mom just lets her cry" but didn't look away from the TV.

Oh how sad that the sister didn't respond. :( My older kids always respond when they hear my baby crying, my 3-year old yells "quick! the baby is crying" and runs to get me and my oldest will go and talk to the baby and try to comfort/entertain him.

[MamaBeth]

When Logan was a newborn, Sarah had just turned 4 the month before. When he started crying, Sarah reached over and held his hand singing the song from the Disney Tarzan movie "Come stop your crying, it will be alright, just take my hand, hold it tight, I will protect you...."

[haak]

I loved it when my 21 month old would yell, "Nurse!" when her little sister started to cry. I said, "Honey you are smarter than some adults when it comes to babies!"