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Old 06-14-2007, 01:28 AM   #1
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Default Collected Comfort Corner Comments

These comments about Comfort Corners have been collected from various past GD threads (or were threads themselves). Please note that each new section has an in front of it.

Also see this thread for more information about comfort corners: http://www.gentlechristianmothers.co...d.php?t=114302 .

And this thread about "Why not time outs?"
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.co...d.php?t=114884

To get this sticky started, here are some helpful quotes about comfort/cuddle corners by ArmsOfLove from the other sticky:

Quote:
Basically, a comfort corner is any space that is in the living space but not central--I've seen them in corners, under stairs, at the end of a couch in a family room, in a room off of the main space, etc. Some people with little room will designate a chair or area to be the comfort space. In an actual comfort corner you can have your child(ren) help with interior design. Include things like pillows, child sized chairs, books, tapes and headphones, stuffed animals--the things that bring comfort to them and will help them relax.

When my kids get obnoxious or stuck in some negative behavior, uncooperative, etc., then I would say to them, 'Hey, take a break in the comfort corner.' If they resist then I use the Five Steps and helping means I go there with them--cuddle, read to them, sing to them, etc. The one big rule is that the poor behavior is never discussed in the comfort corner.

The child can come out when they think they are ready to rejoin the group and be cooperative/respectful/whatever. If they misjudge then they get to go back until they are ready.
Quote:
The real purpose of the CC is to realize that people who are acting bad are doing so because they feel bad so when you give them a chance to pull themselves together in an environment that helps them feel better they can return to things and act better.
Quote:
Think of the CC as a child version of a coffee break.
Quote:
The CC is a life skill--it's taking a break and regaining your composure, recharging, changing your attitude--it's not time out
Quote:
. . . if I come over and you've been having a bad day and not behaving well (maybe grousing or yelling at the kids, not doing your responsibilities around the house, etc) which would you prefer me to do:

1) 'I'm disgusted at the way you've been behaving today. Your children deserve better than this. What kind of a mother do you think you are? You need to go into your room for 30 minutes (1 minute per year ) and really think about how bad you are. I will come and get you in 1/2 hour and then I will be nice to you.'

or

2) 'Wow, you're having a bad day. How about I watch the kids for a bit and you go get a cup of coffee and take a break Come back when you're feeling better and if you want to talk about what's going on we can do it then.'
Quote by AOL from another thread:

Quote:
The CC is different from a TO in a few important ways:

presence of comfort objects
child determines how long they stay
not isolated
goal to learn how to regroup, feel good, calm down

I'm not opposed to pure "take a break" times, but if there is a time limit or a "wait for me" or isolation then it's not teaching a true life skill
Here's a beautiful poem by GranolanRainbows about comfort corners:
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.co...d.php?t=356202

Quote:
Comfort Corner
When I’m feeling Great Big Feelings and I need to get away,
I sit down in my Comfort Corner and take a break from play.
Sometimes I go alone or sometimes mama comes along,
To read a quiet story or sing a peaceful song.
I breathe in happy, helpful thoughts, and blow out all the mad,
God’s arms of love surrounding me, until I’m not so sad.
And when I’m feeling in control of what I’ll say or do,
I’ll say “Goodbye!” to my Comfort Corner and say “Hello!” to you.
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Title: It's Hard To Say (Comfort Corner)
Post by: Mom Of Two Girls on March 19, 2005, 09:55:29 AM
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Who loves the comfort corner more. Me or Rebecca.

We had a very hard, very out of control morning. I picked up Rebecca and sat in our chair. She asked to cuddle in it all by herself. I gave her a pillow and afghan. She got snuggled up and we read books together. Between books, Rebecca told me she was feeling sad and why. I told her I was feeling sad, too and why. So sweet. She said "mommy, I'm feeling a little better now. But I'm still sad. I need to stay here for a little while longer."

Our house is more settled now. This just so much more effective than a time out.

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Title: I made one!! (CC)
Post by: phermion on March 21, 2005, 02:15:26 PM
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We have a Comfort Corner!! We decided to use my large upholstered rocking chair instead of the large fluffy palet I had been leaning toward....anyway - it has snuggly pillows and throw blankets - and it's tucked out of the way in the den. (And I don't have to worry about the dog laying on it ) The perfect spot to cuddle up and have some comfort time.
My oldest has been using it today - first he was sitting at his desk with his head down and his siblings wouldn't leave him alone. He told me loudly that he just needed to be alone and could I help him? He was desperate. I smiled SO BIG. I told him I had just the place for what he needed and led him to the chair and covered him with a blanket. He smiled and spent about 15 minutes there. Dh thought he was in time out or something and asked me if ds could get up yet?? I said - Sweetie, I didn't make him sit there. :P He is having some down time so he feels better. He can get up whenever he feels ready. Dh thought that was just a wonderful idea! I explained what it was, etc. and he was so impressed. I didn't tell him where I got the idea tho, cause he think's I'm involved with some kind of hippie cult. (Dh isn't on board yet with the whole GD thing yet, so I am showing by example as I learn. )
Later, I was getting frustrated and stated that I was and Ds said (quite sympathetically, I might add) that maybe I could use the Comfort Corner for a while.
I wish I hadn't waited so long to do this...it's wonderful!

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Title: comfort corner success!
Post by: joyfulmomsie on September 05, 2005, 10:31:38 AM
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One day when my 4yo dd was in a good mood, we got around to making our "comfort corner". We chose the top bunk of her bunk beds, because she loves to climb up there. I explained that this is her own special place she can go when she's feeling sad or upset, or if she just needs to be by herself for awhile (esp if little brother is wrecking her stuff.)
The other night, supper was late and she hadn't had a nap that day, so the poor child was a mess. She was being mean to her little brother, and she was so cranky that she didn't want to go to her special place. She howled and cried. Before, I would have sent her to her room and told her that if she couldn't be quiet that I would have to shut the door . This time, I got her favorite dolls, and I crawled up there with her and held her, kissed her, and talked softly to her. She calmed down quickly, and then she decided that she would read to her dolls until supper was ready. At supper, she was cheerful and well-behaved. What a difference!

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Title: It Worked!
Post by: kklibrarian on March 24, 2005, 10:39:21 AM
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Ok, I'm sure this is going to give all of you a big chuckle at the naivete of a newbie, but I'm so happy that we've had a success with trying a gentler method of getting our dd to cooperate. I used to be a frequent user of face-in-the corner "time outs" with her. I never felt like it worked out real well because of her personality -- very determined and quick tempered, like me -- and because I was using it as a punitive kind of thing because I was angry. Yesterday, she was having a lot of difficulties following repeated instructions and was using alot of argumentative talk when I would try and correct her, so instead of "time-out" I put her in a thoughtful spot until she could feel better and modify her behavior. Unlike with the time-outs, I didn't isolate her from me, and she got back in control much faster and offered me a genuine apology without prompting. I'm just so happy this worked, and how well it worked is truly amazing.

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Title: We did comfort corner right finally!!! Yeah!
Post by: LoveToReadMommy on April 15, 2005, 04:47:46 PM
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I've been trying to reconnect with my girls and really apply the concepts of GBD. With help of this forum (where would I be without you all?!) it has come to my attention that we were using our comfort corner punatively. After getting the book "I Love You Rituals" by Becky Bailey I did one of the rituals/songs with the girls for the comfort corner. I adapted some of the words, but not many. They LOVED it. dd#2 (4yo on Monday) keeps asking me to sing it to her. She'll pretend to be angry so she can go there. (I also placed a teddy bear there to hug) dd#1 (6yo in a few weeks) isn't as excited about the song, but really appreciates that I'll sit with her and talk or tell stories instead of lecturing her. She said, "Aren't you going to talk about it?" I said, "No, I am here to help comfort you."

I am finally accomplishing something, teaching them to comfort! It feels so good to make the connection!!! Praise God!!!

One more brag, dd#2 brought me a teddy bear today when I was a little ticked about something, and said, "I brought this to comfort you." Isn't that great?

Last edited by flowermama; 12-21-2012 at 11:41 AM.
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