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Old 07-12-2023, 05:41 PM   #1
marbles
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Default new pups, one of the kids hates them

We got puppies three weeks ago, not tiny ones but around 3 and 7 months. It's really unfortunate but at the same time (literally the day we got them), I tore a calf muscle and couldn't walk. Or move really, I was in a lot of pain and still 3+ weeks later can't walk normally. So that meant a lot of the dog care fell on the kids. They helped take the dogs outside, it had to be very often, and feed them. My husband took time off work but having one adult not only out but need to be cared for plus shelter puppies who weren't house trained was a lot. So one of the kids isn't a dog person already (they got a kitten with their own money) and now hates them. These are good dogs, I'm not a dog person and they are good dogs. They're house trained now, I've been training them in basic obedience, they're sweet and want to be around, they don't run away or bite or bark at nothing. They're very good. But they don't see it that way. So what can we do? We've already taken almost all dog care off them (for a while we just asked that they let the dogs out in the morning because this person was first awake) now it's just an occasional ask, they scoop the litter box and keep the cats fed so we really don't ask anything more than that. The dogs aren't allowed upstairs or in the basement, they're kennel trained so they can be put away if they get too worked up or need to sleep. What else can we do? I really think that if they participate in training, the relationship will improve. The dogs will begin to respect them more. They puppies don't really lick me because I don't like it, they listen to me and come back to me and do what I say. But the kid doesn't want to be involved. They say all kinds of nasty things about the dogs, like how we should get rid of them or they should fall into a hole or be eaten by something. I'm not sure what to do. We can't get rid of them, and everyone else likes them. I tried to explain that we wouldn't get rid of their cat because one person didn't like them, and I told them that we could work together to minimize whatever was really bothering them. But when I asked to pinpoint one or two things that were the most egregious, I was told "everything" "that they're here" "I don't want them anywhere near me". Part of the reason is that the kitten loves to play with the puppies but the dogs get a little too excited sometimes and make the kitten run away. He's never been hurt by them, and he always comes back to pounce on them or catch a tail or something. The kitten really enjoys playing with the dogs, he has the run of the house and can easily escape them and the dogs have learned very quickly not the mess with any of the other cats. What else can we do?

eta, I want to be clear in case it comes across like I'm too defensive of them. The dogs have never hurt anyone. They chewed up one shoe and one remote. We've had a dog before that we got rid of because it bit a kid. We do not tolerate certain behaviors and if these dogs became aggressive there would be an immediate change. They really are good dogs.
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Last edited by marbles; 07-12-2023 at 05:45 PM.
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Old 07-12-2023, 08:07 PM   #2
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Default Re: new pups, one of the kids hates them

Is the child allergic to dogs but doesn't realize that is what the problem is?
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Old 07-12-2023, 08:57 PM   #3
marbles
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Default Re: new pups, one of the kids hates them

I don't see any signs of that.
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Old 07-13-2023, 06:08 AM   #4
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Default Re: new pups, one of the kids hates them

I hope you are able to find a peaceful solution.

I'm not a dog person at all, but we have a "good dog". I end up doing most of the work for the dog because the actual dog lovers (my kids) are not interested in the work. We've had a break from the dog, and they miss her so much and are promising to take care of her. They are old enough to be in charge.

I'm glad the kitty likes playing with the dogs. I never worry about cats being able to defend themselves with dogs!

............

Is change difficult for this child? It's a pretty big adjustment to have two new dogs.
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Old 07-13-2023, 07:54 AM   #5
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Default Re: new pups, one of the kids hates them

Quote:
Originally Posted by ECingMama View Post
Is the child allergic to dogs but doesn't realize that is what the problem is?
This was my first thought. It took untill I was an adult, off of my major allergen and on constant allergy meds before I realized that the reason I don't like dogs is that I have an allergic reaction to them.

Growing up I just didn't like dogs and didn't like people who had dogs and could not articulate it better than that.

Honistly that is still my gut reaction but I now recognize that if I take extra allergy meds and completely strip and shower after an interaction I am general ok. But go over to someone house with a dog and then go do something afterwards (or ride in a car that a dog rids in) with them I am more short tempered, more aggravated and just have a harder time managing myself.

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Old 07-13-2023, 08:18 AM   #6
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Default Re: new pups, one of the kids hates them

Change is hard for them, yes. It just usually doesn't get so much worse after this amount of time. I really expected once the worst part was over (they are much less needy now and I can take care of them) that they would start to settle into this new reality. I figured they would just kinda ignore the dogs for a while and then that would be that. Maybe they just need more time, I just don't like there to be such bad feelings and seem to not do anything about it.
I am allergic to dogs, to a lot of things, I have some severe allergies as well. I really don't see anything at all that suggests they are too. It's possible, but they've been around dogs a lot and never had any issues. This is the first time there's been such a negative reaction to animals besides that time we watched our turtle catch one of the fish we bought it lol
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Old 07-13-2023, 05:18 PM   #7
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Default Re: new pups, one of the kids hates them

The fact that the kitten likes to play with the puppies might be important... maybe? Perhaps they feel they are getting left behind by their pet in some way?
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Old 07-14-2023, 06:04 PM   #8
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Default Re: new pups, one of the kids hates them

I just had a thought, and wanted to throw out the possibility of sensory issues? Particularly sensitivity to sounds.

I love dogs, broadly, and I can hang out with friends' dogs generally without issue, but sharing space with dogs for any extended period of time is a whole 'nother thing. It's not rational, but I cannot escape it either: they just make so so so many sounds, with their mouths, SO MUCH. No other animal matches that, for me. Cats are a breeze. Unless I am feeling 100% regulated, though, dog sounds make me want to crawl out of my skin to get away... because otherwise I start feeling ragey *at* the dog (and I know that's not fair). Basically misophonia, and dogs are one of my top triggers, but when I was younger and didn't know how to regulate, it just expressed itself as extreme irritation with the dog's general existence.
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Old 07-14-2023, 11:07 PM   #9
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Default Re: new pups, one of the kids hates them

That's an idea, thank you! I'll try to watch for patterns.
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