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Old 08-07-2006, 06:31 AM   #22
pneumaphile
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Default Re: Permissiveness or GBD?

Quote:
Originally Posted by candle
Quote:
As for can you be permissive and punitive at the same time, yep, I've seen it and here's what it looks like:
Mom (from couch): Don't. Don't do that, please. Honey, stop. Quit it. Please stop! . . .(repeat ad nauseum anywhere from 10 minutes to several weeks). . .Stop. STOP! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (finally gets off the couch, grabs kid roughly by the arm, smacks).
Amy, for practical purposes, could you also show what GBD looks like in the same situation?
Um, well, it depends on what you want the kid to stop doing! LOL! Crystal or Joanne or any number of people would probably be better able to answer, but here's my stab at it. . .how about the kid is jumping on furniture, for example

Mom (moving out of her seat and toward child): Oops, that's dangerous! (taking child's hand and leading to playroom) we jump in here on the (cushion, old mattress, mini-tramp, whatever).

or. . .

Mom (from couch): you need to sit on furniture.
(if behavior continues): Do you my help to sit on the furniture?
(moving from the couch toward helping child with gentle hands): Furniture is for sitting. I'm helping you sit. (And then I'd probably start a game or something to redirect them to an acceptable activity, tickle, put on some music, get out some blocks, whatever)

or. . .I think there are about a million ways to be gentle with your child, understand where he is developmentally, and give grace for his behavior while still firmly enforcing limits.
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