[KarenBoo]

My husband recently learned that his childhood friend (CF) is dying. It's a case of lifelong drug/alcohol abuse and poor lifestyle choices.

DH recently drove halfway across the country to see what he could do to help. He called me last night to tell me that things are just horrible, and I'm seeking advice from people who might understand what benefits might be available to CF. DH will be working with CF's older brother along with one other friend, and they are going to see what they can do. They are all there for this week and have a week to do as much as they can.

Facts:

CF went to the ER and was given 6 months to live (liver and kidneys messed up.) While he was in the hospital for 3 days, he made the poor decision to try to walk to the bathroom, and he fell and broke his shoulder. Doctor said it would take 6 months to heal, but also said CF would not make it 6 months. BUT, CH is now at home trying to care for himself, but he can not even walk. (He could barely walk even before the broken shoulder.) So yes, he is at home with no way to go to to the bathroom, and yes, he is just going where he sits. DH said that CF looks shockingly awful, and it's pretty clear that he's dying. (I am unclear if they discharged him or if he left AMA, because how could they discharge someone like that??)

CF has enough money to pay for his apartment, but has no insurance, and I think not much money.

CF needs to be living in some form of assisted living or hospice. I do not know what is available in these situations, or the process of getting someone the help they need.

Where do they start? Will a personal injury attorney be helpful? They aren't looking for some big windfall of money - just some care during the end of his life.

These are the things they know to do:

1) Call the hospital and speak to the patient advocate to see what they say about how to get him some help.

(Is there some other department to speak to? Social services?)

2) Get power of attorney and medical power of attorney done for CF's older brother.

3) Get a DNR in place if desired, or figure out wishes of CF and get that in place.

4) Hire a PI attorney to handle the broken shoulder case.
5) Get the brother added to bank accounts so brother can handle finances.

If anyone knows of any other services to try to obtain or things to do in this case, we are all ears.

They are also going to try to clean up CF's apartment, which is a biological hazard situation. I am very concerned for the health of everyone doing that work. They know they want to be safe, but I think they don't know what equipment to use to keep them safe. Like, are gloves and N95 masks enough? (I'm thinking mold, bugs, urine, feces, drugs, blood, who knows what else??!!) Because the apartment looks like a terrible episode of hoarders, according to DH. I am encouraging them to hire that out to professionals, but I don't think they are going to do that.

Thank you for any advice!!