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June 20, 2007

Some thoughts

by flowermama

It breaks my heart that so many Christian parents believe that they have to spank their children so very often. So many believe they have to break their child's will, that they must have first-time happy obedience at just about any cost. So many believe that discipline = spanking, so if you hear them say they needed to "discipline" their child, you know they meant spank.

But I want to know why?! Children are not animals who need to be broken. Not to mention that using harsh ways of training animals is not good or healthy for animals either. The fact is, there are so many ways to discipline our children -- there are so many ways to help children learn.

They can learn without spanking. They can learn without being purposefully hurt in any way. Pain is not necessary for someone to learn something. We adults learn things *all the time* without having pain associated with it. If you watch, you'll notice that your children do, too. There are times when each of us learns from painful situations via natural consequences, but life has so much pain in it already, why add to that on purpose when it's fully unnecessary?

We all make mistakes. I yell at my kids sometimes. I say mean things sometimes. I'm *no better* than any other parent. When I say that children don't need to have us do something to them that is purposefully painful in order for them to learn, I'm talking to myself as well. Sadly, hurtful words can be even more harmful than a quick spank.

But being hurtful in word or deed is wrong. It does not express the love we as Christians must show to others, including our children. When we make mistakes we must ask God's forgiveness and seek His help to change, apologize to our children, make amends, and move on. Our children need to know that mamas make mistakes, too, and we are all humans beings in need of God's grace.

Posted by flowermama at June 20, 2007 03:02 AM


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