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April 17, 2006
Two Friends
by Punkie
Ecc 4:9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
So far, one of the most amazing things that I have discovered as a mom is the indescribable joy that comes when you see part of your children's character form before your eyes. When my children were born, I had so many questions about what they would be like, how they'd interact, and what they'd become. When I see little glimpses of the people that they are becoming, it is so humbling.
Recently my son came up with the phrase that I used for the title of this entry - "Two friends." It probably doesn't seem like rocket science or anything, but when my then 3-year-old said it, I had one of those humbling experiences that I referenced above 
When he goes to bed each night, he likes to talk about what the next day will bring. One night he told me that in the morning the sun would come up, and then he would get up, and then he would open my 1-year-old's door, and then "two friends" would go downstairs, and "two friends" would play with toys.
I can't even describe the joy that fills my heart when I see my kids together and I see that they are FRIENDS. Although all 3 of my pregnancies have been planned, I immediately panicked when I became pregnant with my daughter. I felt overcome with guilt that my son would be robbed of his time with me because I was having another child so soon. I was due on the same day with both of them, but 2 years apart. I was so afraid that they'd resent each other. I spent my entire pregnancy feeling bad for taking my time away from my son, and as soon as my daughter was born, it switched to guilt that she would never get to be an "only" and that she'd never have the one-on-one time that my son was able to have.
As I see them play together now, I realize what an amazing blessing they are to each other. They can make each other laugh more than anyone else can. They learn things from each other that I don't know that I could ever teach them. Every time they dance, sing, tickle, read together, or play, they teach me something as well.
So if anyone out there reading this is pregnant and feeling anxious about bringing a sibling into the life of your child, I hope that my experience can be an encouragement to you. When I was pregnant, all that I could find were stories of horrible rivalry and kids who hated each other. I wish that I could've heard the other side during my pregnancy
2/24/06
Posted by Punkie at April 17, 2006 03:56 PM
Comments
Don't know how I missed this before, but I have to send big thank you hugs for such beautiful encouragement. God knew exactly what I needed to hear in your words and experiences, and you really brought such peace and comfort to my heart by sharing something so sweet and special in your life. Thank you, mama. :)
Posted by: Kym at April 17, 2006 10:05 PM
Does fostering count?:)
I'm a foster to adopt mom. Which means we foster children with the intent of adopting them if the birth parents are not able to provide a stable enviroment for them.
Last year we were given Cheyenne who was scarcely 2 weeks old. We went the whole year without ever being contacted about a 2nd child. We were only a few weeks away from finailizing her adoption when we got the call for 2nd child.
I heard the worker asking 'Did we have room for a newborn?' 'Were we interested?' 'Could we help?' We heard bone chilling phrases such as 'born addicted' and 'Complications'.
Many times in the past months we'd had this discusion. Everytime we did, we believed we'd be 'stealing' something from Cheyenne if we were to accept another child, especially another infant while Cheyenne was still less then a year old herself.
When we got the call, Cheyenne had just turned 13 months, and all our 'plans and thoughts' went out the window! We felt in our hearts we could not turn this baby away no matter what the risk, sacrafice or outcome might be.
A month later I must say that it has been the MOST rewarding experience for us. Cheyenne, who always appeared jealous of attention I showed to other children; welcomed Josslyn into the family with open arms! She's not only taught me a few lessons about compassion and caring, she's also taught me about 'jumping to conclussions'.
We stand in amazement at Cheyenne's ability to reach beyond herself, to extend compassion freely, to share completely, and to love and accept Josslyn unconditionally! We realize now we were not 'stealing' anything from Cheyenne. Instead God was and is using both girls to bless our lives beyond our wildest dreams.
Posted by: Donna.Sheeds at May 22, 2006 07:52 PM
