practicing street/parking lot safety Updated at end..

[milkmommy]

 Not sure if this is best here ur under another forum.. DD needs a refresher course.. We've had two big incidents that are telling me we really need to re address these rules formally. First was last week as we were leaving the liabary she broke from me and darted out into the parking area where a LOT of cars are pulling in and out I grabbed her pretty quickly brought her back todld her the rules and we did it correctly.. Then today she broke again and ran in the schools parking lot (pretty empty) didn't stop when I called her (as I was running) and made it clear across the lot and across the street than connects the preschool with another Elementary school and park.    . WHen I stopped her and scolded her about the rules she signs walk and says hold hands  but then giggles and trying to run off again. Now I get shes 3 and I have the biggest responsiblity in keping her safe but there wa a time that she would hold my hand and she let go shes stop untill I was holding her hand again and If I said stop or halt or stand still (whatever) she listened. Soo how do I go about reteaching how d o I do so safely?

Deanna

[Tulip_Plus_3]

Bring a stroller.  Tell her if she breaks from you she has to sit in the stroller.  That incentive alone will probably do the trick. 

Before you leave/as you're driving/when you get there remind her of the rules (I'm sure you already do this!).  And be willing, should she break from you, to turn around & go back home.  Even if it means missing a doctor's appointment or something. 

Go for walks in your neighborhood (or wherever) where she has to hold your hand.  Talk about safety, talk about getting hurt if a car were to hit her, talk about holding hands while you cross the street.  Maybe I'm sick & demented, but at the age & mental level my kids are at if we were to go walking and see a little animal that had been hit by a car, I don't think I'm above showing it to them and talking about what happened.  I wouldn't dwell on it, but this is something that is SOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo important to me!  When I'm walking I have three little ones to hold on to.  If one breaks from me I couldn't get free from the other two fast enough to snatch the first one from the path of an oncoming car. 

[milkmommy]

Bring a stroller.  Tell her if she breaks from you she has to sit in the stroller.  That incentive alone will probably do the trick.

We don't own one jst a small umbrella one that she can escape from faster than I can force her down  and I'm not talking were out a lot I mean were walking from the door to the car like 30 feet, most of the time she does fine but twice lately shes broken away and ran,  having her sit in a stroller for two seconds isn't going to deter her 

Before you leave/as you're driving/when you get there remind her of the rules (I'm sure you already do this!).  And be willing, should she break from you, to turn around & go back home.  Even if it means missing a doctor's appointment or something.

We do the rules things and that certaintly helps but the problems happen when were about to go home anyways. Again I'm talking the few seconds it takes walking up to the car. there was a time that she seemed to understand this is a parking lot I need to stop but over time she gotten more brave 

Go for walks in your neighborhood (or wherever) where she has to hold your hand.  Talk about safety, talk about getting hurt if a car were to hit her, talk about holding hands while you cross the street.  Maybe I'm sick & demented, but at the age & mental level my kids are at if we were to go walking and see a little animal that had been hit by a car, I don't think I'm above showing it to them and talking about what happened.  I wouldn't dwell on it, but this is something that is SOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo important to me!  When I'm walking I have three little ones to hold on to.  If one breaks from me I couldn't get free from the other two fast enough to snatch the first one from the path of an oncoming car.

  I like this I wont go looking for road kill but I like the walk thing I'm also thinking of bringing DH with my when we pick up Cecilia from school so we can talk about and practice parking lot safety. Any games or other things we can do to  reinforce the rules?

Deanna

[apmommy]

tulip_plus_3...good advice.  Talk about safety even when it is not 'an issue' at that moment.   

[Tengokujin]

Don't know if this will help--but does she have anywhere that she can run regularly freely?  My DS is younger than your DD, but we found a big difference when he had regular opportunities to walk and run without holding hands.  Then the times when safety was an issue he didn't have as much of a stored impulse to RUN!  

We live overlooking a big grassy flood plain with a bike path through it.  The fields have been great for him, plus walking along the bike path has given us many opportunities to practice looking ahead, staying to one side, holding mommy's hand, etc.  

When I see other children with their parents walking and holding hands and in general being "safe"(a big word with us!) I do point it out to him.  I also point out to him how Daddy is "safe" and walks on the edge of the street, waits away from the road, etc.  

It sure is nerve-wracking.

[milkmommy]

 A tiny update.. First off I owe Tulip_Plus_3 an applogy I realize my last post sounded like I was shooting down everything you said  . I was just frustrated but I realize I didn't really ask the right question. Just so you know I'm not above using strollers slings leashes ect if thats what it takes to enforce safety  at the same time though I want to work on teaching safety and thats really my question, so sorry for being all snappy 
 Anyways I've been going over the rules everytime we enter or exist a car or enter a street or parking lot. Like at school I'm pointing out that were in a parking lot that there are cars around and the painted lines ect of the parking lot and that the rules are she needs to hold my hand and walk with mommy and if were ever seperated she needs to stop and say Mommy hold my hand. We also talked about needing to stop at the street again rules about never crossing withoutholding mommy's hand we talked about looking to see if cars were comming and if it was safe to cross and about walking holding hands. She did really well  ans I'm blessed to have a friend who totally appreciated and understood me taking the time to talk and teach even if it meant it took longer to get from point A and 25 feet away to point B.   . I'll countinue talking about safety with her, I also need to work with her on her stopping if I call for her to do so, I'm thinking maybe some red light green light type games 

Deanna

[Tulip_Plus_3]

Oh, don't sweat it, Deanna!  No need to apologize!   

As for games to play, any game like Stop & Go, Red Light/Green Light, or Freeze, or Statue, will be a good game to play.  Anything that entails the child having to stop on command will get the message across subliminally.  That kind of game combined with gentle talks from you & DH about safety should be the refresher she needs. 

In order to show my kids that I am deadly serious about safety I have actually picked one or two up & tucked them under my arms, screaming & writhing, and marched to the car (praying all the while that #3 does not start wandering off).  In public.  With people watching.     This enrages my kids (as it would just about any self-respecting preschool age kid), but by golly they are certainly compliant for a long time afterwards.  I have also gone so far as to chase down a darter, drag him or her back to where they originially broke from me, and force them to walk back to the car holding my hand.  Actually, it's more like me holding their hand/wrist and semi-dragging them along as if they were a stubborn donkey.  Not the most fun activity, and certainly ear piercing because they scream bloody murder, but I really have to be very firm in this regard.  As I was telling my mom recently, since I've chosen not to spank my words have to be backed up with my actions, my words have to mean something.  I won't tolerate any funny business when it comes to parking lots or walking on the street.  I turn into Mean Mommy in a flash if they start acting up.    

I know this probably makes me sound like a meanie, and certainly not a gentle mommy.  Really I am very gentle.  I just have to put that aside when my kids' safety is at risk, and when you're a triplet mommy ya gotta do what ya gotta do...  Any battle I lose is a lesson learned by the other two who are observing the entire scene, therefore when I determine that a battle is on I make sure that I do not lose.