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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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Old 06-10-2012, 09:20 PM   #1
OrangeHope
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Default Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

I have known for a while now that our church is pro spanking but this is the first sermon that I have heard our pastor mention spanking.
I just looked at their website and today's video of the sermon isn't up yet so I can't address you guys to his exact words and I'm pretty tired right now but the pastor said something along the lines of:"...it's like spanking, some people say 'Oh, I'll never spank my child!' but you got to stand firm."
I'm not too sure if he said "but you got to stand firm." like I said I'm so tired right now and I'll be looking for the video when they put it online but it was pretty obvious he's encouraging parents to spank.

So I'm thinking of writing him a letter explaining to him why I don't think spanking is biblical, I'll be using Crystals website to guide me but I'm wondering what you guys think I should write in my letter?
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Old 06-10-2012, 09:52 PM   #2
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Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor


It depends on exactly what he said, exactly what you feel are the problems with it, and exactly what topic you want to address.

Like, if he just said, "spanking's cool" then I'd probably roll my eyes, sputter a lot, complain a bunch to DH, and let it go.

But if he said, "As Christians you *must* spank", then I would be addressing it. You know?
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Old 06-10-2012, 09:57 PM   #3
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Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

if he did make a statement to that effect I might challenge him based on the idea that God could have stood firm about man and sin but instead he sacrificed himself to extend us grace--knowing that we couldn't handle the burden ourselves
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Old 06-10-2012, 10:52 PM   #4
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*subbing because I'm going through a similar issue*

Sent from my mobile device. Forgive me for typos!
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Old 06-11-2012, 02:48 AM   #5
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Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArmsOfLove View Post
if he did make a statement to that effect I might challenge him based on the idea that God could have stood firm about man and sin but instead he sacrificed himself to extend us grace--knowing that we couldn't handle the burden ourselves
What Crystal said.
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Old 06-11-2012, 03:42 AM   #6
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Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

I am subbing because I am wrestling with something similar.
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Old 06-11-2012, 08:41 AM   #7
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Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

We faced that same situation a few years ago and wrote to our pastor. Although he still believes that spanking is biblical, his response was very gracious and it sparked my blog. This is the letter that we sent.
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Old 06-11-2012, 07:11 PM   #8
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Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

Thanks ladies!! I just checked their website and the sermon is up so I'm wondering if I'm allowed to post a link to the video?
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Old 06-11-2012, 08:58 PM   #9
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Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

Can you make it a non-clickable link? If it's a life link, I will edit it and make it not live (clickable). Post it in the advanced box and uncheck the box which says, "Parse links."
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Old 06-12-2012, 07:26 AM   #10
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Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

Link!
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Old 06-12-2012, 02:28 PM   #11
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Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

O.k here it is I hope I am posting this alright...



I broke the link up.

The spanking part is very short so if you'd like forward it to around 52 minute mark.
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Old 06-12-2012, 03:25 PM   #12
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Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

It's such a short comment, I'm not sure I'd bother addressing it.

If you wanted to, you might want to focus on the, "Hey, I've studied the scriptures and what I see there is liberty to parent without spanking (since the liberty thing is his topic) and the Proverbs are not straight-up commandments. So please, consider that you have thoughtful Christian parents in your audience who may have studied the scriptures carefully and come to a different conclusion about spanking."
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Old 06-12-2012, 03:38 PM   #13
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Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

Thanks Kiara.I! I did think of letting it go since it was such a short comment but our church is a VERY big church and lots of parents were listening to this sermon and probably those who didn't spank before might consider starting since according to the pastor it's biblical to do so
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Old 06-12-2012, 03:48 PM   #14
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Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

Well the thing is, he's probably not going to preach a retraction. So, what are you hoping to accomplish? It can't be unsaid. He's not going to track down everyone there and tell them actually he was mistaken. You'd be lucky if he *admits* he was mistaken, frankly.

Mostly, I expect, what you want to accomplish is that he stops, thinks about it, checks his ideas, and then *in the future* maybe doesn't say that. But for this time? There's nothing to be done about it.

So whatever you decide to do, remember that you are trying to win him over so that next time doesn't happen. Going in with guns blazing to tell him he's wrong probably won't accomplish that, you know? Keep your end view in mind.
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