So... The "HALT" thing...

Blue-EyedLady · 10-12-2010, 08:18 PM

What do you "do" with it? Is it just a convenient excuse to explain away bad behavior? Because, really, aren't toddlers either hungry, angry, loney, or tired all of the time?

AmyDoll · 10-12-2010, 08:27 PM

Yea - so you deal with the underlying *cause* and hopefully correct the behavior?

So Toddler is all melty over a toy... "Honey, you're hungry. Mama has your snack & your sippy cup here." (scoop & move & feed) Tantrum all done.
Or you can reflect Angry feelings - mirror his BIG angry feelings & bring him back down to OK .
Lonely, "You were all alone in your room & wondering where Mama was - I'm here!"
Tired, "Shhh... baby, you are tired... come here, Mama will nurse you & you can go night night"

It's not an *excuse* - it's just the WHY behind the behavior & you can deal with those why's easily.

HALT is a good place to begin verbalizing & addressing your toddler's needs - but bc their communication skill is so un-refined

toddlers have a tough time expressing themselves outside of HALT & their frustration level is high bc of their lack of communication skill. If you can tune in & verbalize *for* your toddler (I'm thinking of toddler play & toddler-on-toddler aggression

) you can begin the process of teaching communication & recognizing feelings in themselves AND in others.

saturnfire16 · 10-12-2010, 09:35 PM

I don't really think of the acronym much, but thinking about the underlying causes helps me go from:

"This kid is doing this just to me off and she just needs to knock it off. There is NO reason for this type of behavior. JUST STOP!"

to:

"This kid has a need that is not being met. How can I help meet it? Better yet, how can I help her learn to express it more appropriately, and how can I be more aware of the early signs of this need so we don't get to the meltdown point?"

Amber · 10-12-2010, 09:52 PM

HALT even comes in handy when your kids have passed the toddler stage.

My dh tried to get the boys (6 & 4yrs) to clean up tonight...problem was he was trying this about 5 minutes before we were going to sit down for a late dinner. The boys were hungry and in no mood to clean up. I reminded dh of the time and that it clean up would go better after dinner. Sure enough, after dinner they cleaned up just fine.

cro · 10-12-2010, 10:03 PM

HALT works for grownups too.

Why am I yelling so much and being Mean Mommy? Oh, 'cuz I'm Tired! Once I can acknowledge that, I can remedy the situation by taking a nap (or at least a rest) and the day usu gets better.

Tasmanian Saint · 10-13-2010, 02:52 AM

I like to think of it in terms of 'heading off' trouble - who knows how many meltdowns were prevented today because my kids got regular snacks and meals

In a recent thread people were talking about catching children when they're just getting angry and redirecting them (to hit a cushion, for example), but that's a trick I am yet to learn... I'm not a very tuned-in Mummy - I'm so blessed to have read about AP because I'm not one of those who would have found it by herself by 'listening to my instincts'... sorry, babbling

Blue-EyedLady · 10-13-2010, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cro

HALT works for grownups too.

Why am I yelling so much and being Mean Mommy? Oh, 'cuz I'm Tired! Once I can acknowledge that, I can remedy the situation by taking a nap (or at least a rest) and the day usu gets better.

Oh, I *never* do that!

raining_kisses · 10-13-2010, 08:39 AM

never heard of the acronym. whats the "a" stand for?

Maggirayne · 10-13-2010, 08:59 AM

Angry.

Yeah, I need to watch me closely for HALT all.the.time.

WingsOfTheMorning · 10-13-2010, 09:50 AM

Like the PP's said, I use it either to head off things (making sure she has her snacks and naps and some mama snuggles) or to try to verbalize for her and fix what's wrong.

If anger is the cause, often I just need to verbalize and maybe help her w/ what's frustrating her or hold her for a minute until she's okay again. But if one of the others is the cause, then I need to address that or she's just going to meltdown again in a few minutes. Or she may not even be able to move past the current problem.

Blue-EyedLady · 10-13-2010, 02:26 PM

Ok, so what do you do when the problem is HALT, but you cannot "fix" the problem? For example, the kid is tired, but won't sleep, or hungry, but there's no food.

AmyDoll · 10-13-2010, 04:16 PM

I usually distract from the issue or change the scenary... put the kid in the stroller & go for a walk is my usual answer. I had a rain cover for my toddlers stroller.
And I stash food EVERYWHERE to avoid the no food issue.

Joyanne · 10-14-2010, 07:28 AM

In our home I assess the HALT (and yes I use it on myself as well!) and then try to fix it, but I also try to correct the behavior as well. For example is my child is screaming and being rude because he is tired, I might say "I understand you are tired, but you may not scream and be rude. Let's go lie down for a while."

Now he/she might continue screaming (something like "I don't WANT TO LIE DOWN" ) I say 'Well it's time for a nap anyway' and proceed to put them down for one anyway. (if there is kicking and hitting, I correct that 'I understand you are upset, but we do not hit or kick' and I will hold their hands or feet if needed to stop that action before they hurt me or someone else.

In Christ,
Joy

mamajane · 10-14-2010, 08:01 AM

As kids get older, I've noticed that they don't always appreciate having their feelings "blamed on" being hungry or tired. My 8yo dd esp doesn't like it, she really wants her feelings validated, so I think I need to just silently acknowledge the hunger/tiredness contributor and just try to be better at the basics, bedtime and food.

AmyDoll · 10-14-2010, 08:32 AM

OOO that's interesting mamajane! My mom still carries a granola bar in her purse for me when we spend the day together. Or if I get cranky says, "Honey you need a coke - let's go get you one."

10-12-2010, 08:18 PM	#1
Blue-EyedLady Rose Garden The Lion Cub Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Northern Arizona Posts: 10,798	So... The "HALT" thing... What do you "do" with it? Is it just a convenient excuse to explain away bad behavior? Because, really, aren't toddlers either hungry, angry, loney, or tired all of the time? __________________ Mama to The Engineer (7 yo) "When I grow up, I'm going to build Highway 100!" The Imaginative Adventurer (4.5 yo) "I'm going to rescue you!" and The Lion Cub (1 yo)- Smart, cute, strong, and unstoppable! Sister to BlessedBlue forever Co-Founder and Lead Writer at Food Allergies On Ice

10-12-2010, 08:27 PM	#2
AmyDoll Deactivated Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: State of Grace Posts: 11,062	Re: So... The "HALT" thing... Yea - so you deal with the underlying cause and hopefully correct the behavior? So Toddler is all melty over a toy... "Honey, you're hungry. Mama has your snack & your sippy cup here." (scoop & move & feed) Tantrum all done. Or you can reflect Angry feelings - mirror his BIG angry feelings & bring him back down to OK . Lonely, "You were all alone in your room & wondering where Mama was - I'm here!" Tired, "Shhh... baby, you are tired... come here, Mama will nurse you & you can go night night" It's not an excuse - it's just the WHY behind the behavior & you can deal with those why's easily. HALT is a good place to begin verbalizing & addressing your toddler's needs - but bc their communication skill is so un-refined toddlers have a tough time expressing themselves outside of HALT & their frustration level is high bc of their lack of communication skill. If you can tune in & verbalize for your toddler (I'm thinking of toddler play & toddler-on-toddler aggression ) you can begin the process of teaching communication & recognizing feelings in themselves AND in others.

10-12-2010, 09:35 PM	#3
saturnfire16 Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: North Eastern CA Posts: 9,119	Re: So... The "HALT" thing... I don't really think of the acronym much, but thinking about the underlying causes helps me go from: "This kid is doing this just to me off and she just needs to knock it off. There is NO reason for this type of behavior. JUST STOP!" to: "This kid has a need that is not being met. How can I help meet it? Better yet, how can I help her learn to express it more appropriately, and how can I be more aware of the early signs of this need so we don't get to the meltdown point?" __________________ ~Emily INTJ, Type 4 Wife to D Mama to: E 12/05 L 7/08 Z 12/10 A 6/14 and J in heaven 2/10 Torah Keeping, Unschooling Family My blog on unschooling and family life: Peace On Dark Nights.

10-12-2010, 09:52 PM	#4
Amber Rose Garden Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: The rainy side of Washington. Posts: 18,232	Re: So... The "HALT" thing... HALT even comes in handy when your kids have passed the toddler stage. My dh tried to get the boys (6 & 4yrs) to clean up tonight...problem was he was trying this about 5 minutes before we were going to sit down for a late dinner. The boys were hungry and in no mood to clean up. I reminded dh of the time and that it clean up would go better after dinner. Sure enough, after dinner they cleaned up just fine. __________________ Amber ISFJ Wife to my wonderful DH And keeper of the boys Big M (6/03) Forever ours Dec 2012 C (6/04), Little M (10/05) Forever ours Dec 2012 K (5/06) Missing our foster daughter Miss A

10-12-2010, 10:03 PM	#5
cro Rose Garden Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 7,779	Re: So... The "HALT" thing... HALT works for grownups too. Why am I yelling so much and being Mean Mommy? Oh, 'cuz I'm Tired! Once I can acknowledge that, I can remedy the situation by taking a nap (or at least a rest) and the day usu gets better. __________________ ISTJ, DYT 4/2 mama to: M ~ born in Russia 8/31/02; adopted 7/21/04 J ~ born in America 3/20/05; natural bio surprise E ~ born in America 12/08/08; natural bio miracle

10-13-2010, 02:52 AM	#6
Tasmanian Saint Rose Trellis Go Team Lioness! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: This side of the black stump Posts: 2,428	Re: So... The "HALT" thing... I like to think of it in terms of 'heading off' trouble - who knows how many meltdowns were prevented today because my kids got regular snacks and meals In a recent thread people were talking about catching children when they're just getting angry and redirecting them (to hit a cushion, for example), but that's a trick I am yet to learn... I'm not a very tuned-in Mummy - I'm so blessed to have read about AP because I'm not one of those who would have found it by herself by 'listening to my instincts'... sorry, babbling __________________ Our blossoms: DS "Little Bear" Apr '07 - The negotiator DD "Miss Muffett" Nov '08 "Don't tell Daddy..." DS "Mouse" Jan '12 "I Soup Baby, Man of steel! " Myth Busting over at Dare to Disciple "Believe in yourself. Trust your instincts. Unless your instincts are terrible." Vitruvius, The LEGO Movie.

10-13-2010, 08:39 AM	#8
raining_kisses Deactivated ..a little child, born yesterday, A thing on mother's milk and kisses fed... ~"Hymn to Mercury" Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: where the stars at night are big and bright Posts: 9,038	Re: So... The "HALT" thing... never heard of the acronym. whats the "a" stand for?

10-13-2010, 08:59 AM	#9
Maggirayne Rose Garden Standing for gentleness and honesty Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Looking for Hope Posts: 12,027	Re: So... The "HALT" thing... Angry. Yeah, I need to watch me closely for HALT all.the.time. __________________ Maggi, Tw irler of the Umbrella of Silliness Mama to two sweet littles and 3 angels 12/4/11 10/7/13 12/8/13 Grace is not a destination, it's a journey. I first learned to show grace to my child that was not shown to me, then I learned to accept it for myself, and only recently have I been able to have grace for others more. ~Sweetpeasmommy A

10-13-2010, 09:50 AM	#10
WingsOfTheMorning Deactivated Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 4,560	Re: So... The "HALT" thing... Like the PP's said, I use it either to head off things (making sure she has her snacks and naps and some mama snuggles) or to try to verbalize for her and fix what's wrong. If anger is the cause, often I just need to verbalize and maybe help her w/ what's frustrating her or hold her for a minute until she's okay again. But if one of the others is the cause, then I need to address that or she's just going to meltdown again in a few minutes. Or she may not even be able to move past the current problem.

10-13-2010, 02:26 PM	#11
Blue-EyedLady Rose Garden The Lion Cub Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Northern Arizona Posts: 10,798	Re: So... The "HALT" thing... Ok, so what do you do when the problem is HALT, but you cannot "fix" the problem? For example, the kid is tired, but won't sleep, or hungry, but there's no food. __________________ Mama to The Engineer (7 yo) "When I grow up, I'm going to build Highway 100!" The Imaginative Adventurer (4.5 yo) "I'm going to rescue you!" and The Lion Cub (1 yo)- Smart, cute, strong, and unstoppable! Sister to BlessedBlue forever Co-Founder and Lead Writer at Food Allergies On Ice

10-13-2010, 04:16 PM	#12
AmyDoll Deactivated Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: State of Grace Posts: 11,062	Re: So... The "HALT" thing... I usually distract from the issue or change the scenary... put the kid in the stroller & go for a walk is my usual answer. I had a rain cover for my toddlers stroller. And I stash food EVERYWHERE to avoid the no food issue.

10-14-2010, 07:28 AM	#13
Joyanne Deactivated Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 279	Re: So... The "HALT" thing... In our home I assess the HALT (and yes I use it on myself as well!) and then try to fix it, but I also try to correct the behavior as well. For example is my child is screaming and being rude because he is tired, I might say "I understand you are tired, but you may not scream and be rude. Let's go lie down for a while." Now he/she might continue screaming (something like "I don't WANT TO LIE DOWN" ) I say 'Well it's time for a nap anyway' and proceed to put them down for one anyway. (if there is kicking and hitting, I correct that 'I understand you are upset, but we do not hit or kick' and I will hold their hands or feet if needed to stop that action before they hurt me or someone else. In Christ, Joy Last edited by Joyanne; 10-14-2010 at 07:32 AM.

10-14-2010, 08:01 AM	#14
mamajane Rose Garden Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,675	Re: So... The "HALT" thing... As kids get older, I've noticed that they don't always appreciate having their feelings "blamed on" being hungry or tired. My 8yo dd esp doesn't like it, she really wants her feelings validated, so I think I need to just silently acknowledge the hunger/tiredness contributor and just try to be better at the basics, bedtime and food. __________________ ISFP Ds 15 DDs 13, 10,and 7

10-14-2010, 08:32 AM	#15
AmyDoll Deactivated Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: State of Grace Posts: 11,062	Re: So... The "HALT" thing... OOO that's interesting mamajane! My mom still carries a granola bar in her purse for me when we spend the day together. Or if I get cranky says, "Honey you need a coke - let's go get you one."

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