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Old 01-03-2009, 12:02 AM   #1
ArmsOfLove
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Default dh and I very excited about this year & a ???

the twins are going to be 4 and are so much easier (well, not easy, they are incredibly hard work--but easier than they were 6 months ago ). So we're looking around at our house and going :/ and I'm so grateful we have done as much work as we have . . . but we have a long way to go :P But we're talking about it together.

Mostly we want to SLOW DOWN our lives--even more. Just chill. Enjoy.

If you were to look at this year as truly a new beginning what would you focus on?
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Old 01-03-2009, 01:31 AM   #2
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Default Re: dh and I very excited about this year & a ???

That is kind of what we are doing. A new beginning. We signed our new lease on the 31st, and moving in here feels like a new start. It is hard for me to pick one word to describe what we are going to focus on. Maybe after I have all this typed out I will think of one.

Mainly our focuses will be family. Of coarse. That is always first. But the home, finances, homeschooling and parenting. I guess just balancing it all and actually really doing what we want to do.

Here it is.....Were focusing on BEING THE PEOPLE WE WANT TO BE! Being the GBD mom I want to be, the homeschooler I want to be. Being in the financial situation I want....and not letting anything (even my own laziness, excuses, etc...) get in the way of that.

We have big goals for this year!!!
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Old 01-03-2009, 02:06 AM   #3
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Default Re: dh and I very excited about this year & a ???

My goal for this year has grown out of what I did a few days ago. I usually find myself either rushing from activity to activity (even at home), or completely vegetating in front of the computer or with a book, kind of all-or-nothing. A few days back, I decided to do some housework, do some fun projects, and do them slowly and conciously. I would drink tea while I was baking, or today I stopped and sewed a stuffed toy back together for my 5yo - things I would never do in my rush-through-the-work-to-get-to-the-computer mindset. I hold myself back from practically running around the house, listen to music, sing to myself, or recite poetry.

I think I had a skewed view of what recreation was for me - I was so exhausted by my life, I thought the only rest I would get would be in oblivion. Was I wrong! These days of slow, patient, meandering activity have felt so rich and loooooong, like I'm living twice as many hours in my day. I've gotten so much done, too, but I'm taking care it's not all work! If I know that I'm mixing dishes and cleaning cupboards with sewing a new blind (like I did today) I don't just rush through the "work" and collapse on the couch.

I have found I'm much more patient with the kids, because they're not really interrupting my relaxation time - when I'm on the computer, I'm annoyed and frustrated when they want juice. If I'm standing in the living room, wondering what that picture would look like on that wall, getting juice is no big deal. I'm so relaxed and I'm having fun! The real test will be when we start homeschooling again on Monday, my husband goes to work, and I'm teaching kindergarten again. I know there will be a landslide of force of habit behind me, chasing me to the couch and being absorbed in my books. I really want to hang on to this, though.
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Old 01-03-2009, 02:25 AM   #4
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Default Re: dh and I very excited about this year & a ???

Quote:
Originally Posted by jojola
My goal for this year has grown out of what I did a few days ago. I usually find myself either rushing from activity to activity (even at home), or completely vegetating in front of the computer or with a book, kind of all-or-nothing. A few days back, I decided to do some housework, do some fun projects, and do them slowly and conciously. I would drink tea while I was baking, or today I stopped and sewed a stuffed toy back together for my 5yo - things I would never do in my rush-through-the-work-to-get-to-the-computer mindset. I hold myself back from practically running around the house, listen to music, sing to myself, or recite poetry.

I think I had a skewed view of what recreation was for me - I was so exhausted by my life, I thought the only rest I would get would be in oblivion. Was I wrong! These days of slow, patient, meandering activity have felt so rich and loooooong, like I'm living twice as many hours in my day. I've gotten so much done, too, but I'm taking care it's not all work! If I know that I'm mixing dishes and cleaning cupboards with sewing a new blind (like I did today) I don't just rush through the "work" and collapse on the couch.

I have found I'm much more patient with the kids, because they're not really interrupting my relaxation time - when I'm on the computer, I'm annoyed and frustrated when they want juice. If I'm standing in the living room, wondering what that picture would look like on that wall, getting juice is no big deal. I'm so relaxed and I'm having fun! The real test will be when we start homeschooling again on Monday, my husband goes to work, and I'm teaching kindergarten again. I know there will be a landslide of force of habit behind me, chasing me to the couch and being absorbed in my books. I really want to hang on to this, though.
This should SO be my goal!!! I could have writen this exact post. I can especially relate to the bolded part.
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Old 01-03-2009, 04:55 AM   #5
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Default Re: dh and I very excited about this year & a ???

I really want to respond to this and answer Crystal's question fully, but I'm finding that the words are coming hard this morning. Maybe it's still too early.

I think in many ways for us this year *will* be a new beginning. Dh has to find another job, we're welcoming our third son into the world and in the midst of all that, we might be facing downsizing, moving out of state, drastically changing the way we live and spend, etc.

In the midst of all the possible transition and chaos that *could* happen, I really feel that my focus has to be on slowing down too. *Really* enjoying the interactions with my dc. Like Jojola said, not rushing through just to get to the next thing or to my computer time I want to focus on the relationships in our family, spending focused time with my dc and dh.

I'd love to be able to build in some nurturing rituals for myself into our day too --- reading, writing, crafting, etc, but I tend to overwhelm myself with expectations, so I'm trying not to do that.

So, I guess slowing down and just enjoying the gifts God has blessed me with is my top goal. I think for me to be able to do that, though, some more organization and decluttering has to take place --- I just don't want to lose my focus by concentrating on the tasks and not the people.

My overriding thought/feeling for this year is peace. I think I want to find a way to more often consciously experience God's peace --- in my own mind, in my relationships, in my home.
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Old 01-03-2009, 05:40 AM   #6
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Default Re: dh and I very excited about this year & a ???

Naturally nixing any outside commitments that aren't essential will help tremendously. The boys aren't involved in any sports or extracurriculars until summer because we have such a busy fall that we need winter and early spring to recoup each year.

As much as I value activities for the kids I was relieved that my oldest didn't want to do basketball or baseball this winter/spring.
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Old 01-03-2009, 05:47 AM   #7
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Default Re: dh and I very excited about this year & a ???

I am focusing on keeping the unwanted out of our home. . . like some dollar store toys never even got into the house after Christmas And some of the stuff that did is getting tossed today

I am focusing on my children doing more housework -- they already do a lot but they are starting weekly kitchen clean up after dinner (wipe table and counters, do dishes, load dishwasher). Once that is routine, I will have them take on another task. S is going to start working more on unloading the dishwasher and putting her clothes away.

I am focusing on making sure our spaces in our home are cozy for everyone not just me

I am making the effort to rotate toys again

I am needing to continue my decluttering effort as its and ongoing process. I am thinking that I want to make a monthly list rather than weekly because it gets better every time a declutter and I think I am down to needing to to monthly and seasonal declutter rather than daily or weekly

I need to do the majority of my errands w/o the kids. It's just too stressful for me to take them shopping. *I* am the one that gets overwhelmed and I need to accept that and just do it when dh is home

From a spiritual standpoint, I am listening to the New Testament on audio in 40 days -- I forgot to start it though as I have had a pretty rough week this week! SO I am starting today. I am doing NONE of this "Oh, I forgot. . . try next year!" I am also going to try to journal ONE THING that pops out from me after I listen. I am going to listen while I clean. In fact, I am going to go log off after this post and do that

I am convinced that I want to keep my kids close to me because I am watching time run out. . . . I want to cherish every moment and praise God that I have 3 healthy, happy children I am so thankful for my family and that we are going into the new year with my dh being employed

As far as slowing down, we do pretty well at avoiding the rat race so slow down isn't one of my priorities but I have it in the back of my head that it should never get too busy again. For us, this means prioritizing what we do during the week (two things max) and being flexible on the weekends And not doing so much during the day either (staying home 3 days a week).

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Old 01-03-2009, 07:11 AM   #8
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Default Re: dh and I very excited about this year & a ???

Since we just settled on our new home on the 30th this year really is a new beginning! The house actually has less square footage than our last place, but more usable space for storage. It is an older home so the space is used well but it's compact. The yard is bigger and more suitable to our needs so I'm looking forward to adding a great deal more outdoor time to our days. We have a blank slate right now so we can talk about moving all our stuff from storage and choose where it will go or if it will even stay.

I'm focused on organization and simplification. Those are my themes. I've been thinking a lot about the choices my grandparents made, and I've been adopting some of their modest aspirations as my own. I keep telling Dh, "Small is the new big."

Practically speaking I plan on rotating toys and seasonal wardrobes. One of the three bedrooms will be the homeschool/sensory room (it would be considered the master, so it has the large closet for our materials). There is a well established garden in the back yard and I'm hoping our allergies can tolerate working together in there! I'll have space for a vegetable garden. Dh will be close to work so there will be more family time, and he has a place to work on his hobby now. I'm hoping we can get a great start and maintain it.
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Old 01-03-2009, 07:21 AM   #9
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Default Re: dh and I very excited about this year & a ???

Our goal for the year is big, but it NEEDS to be done:
Stabilizing, Simplifying and Strengthening
That is broke down to the following concepts:

#1 Stabilize our family. I need to enforce the idea that our children are OURS, no matter how long the courts take to legally finalize. I have been repeatedly assured that the children aren't going anywhere, even the paternal relatives want me to have the children. Sadly, Bmoms foolishness and my fear of children's services being a broken system, keeps me from feeling at peace and secure.

#2in the words of my doctor...Take better care of myself, so I can continue to take good care of my children.
aka. weight, blood pressure, cholesterol and anxiety level

#3 help dh find peace. He grew up in an angry alcoholic home, so he doesn't have a lot of patience, tact or creativity to even deal with the little stuff. Compounded by HATING his job, he just never seems happy with anything. Jobs are so scarce right now, I hurt deeply just thinking about him looking for anything else. This should have been the IDEAL job. The work itself and the fellow employees really are great. The owner is another story, but not for this thread.

#4 for our home: declutter, disaster-proof, organize and generally make it more comfortable and functional

#5 Prioritize and limit activities. I don't think we do that many extra activities, but some how they still become overwelming and conflicting schedules.

as I said, BIG goals, but all worth the work.
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Old 01-03-2009, 07:30 AM   #10
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Default Re: dh and I very excited about this year & a ???

My plan is to organize my house to make it livable and a restful place for my family.
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Old 01-03-2009, 07:40 AM   #11
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Default Re: dh and I very excited about this year & a ???

This is such a nice thread to read Everyone has such great goals
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Old 01-03-2009, 07:46 AM   #12
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Default Re: dh and I very excited about this year & a ???

We're going to minorly remodel our house - like painting and new fixtures and such. Our landlord said he'd pay if it we didn't go all crazy.

Lord willing, we're going to become parents again and then I'll become a SAHM

Also, I really want to focus myself on getting healthy and figuring out how to not be tired and stressed all the time. I have some ideas, but my OCDness decided that I can't start implementing them until Monday
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Old 01-03-2009, 07:54 AM   #13
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Default Re: dh and I very excited about this year & a ???

we are decluttering further - there's always *stuff* that needs to go, and I'm embarrassed when I look around and realize just how much we've gathered over the years. While dh and I both tend to be packrats, we both feel called now to bless others with things instead of hoarding them.
Last year we gave away 3 cars, and that got rid of a lot of the clutter in dh's garage/shop yard High mileage, needed work, weren't worth it to us to repair - and yet fixer-uppers have blessed 3 different families now. That feels much better than watching the cars sit there and rot
Jaden has so many discarded toys, so much stuff. Literally about 13 big bags of clothes and toys that he's outgrown. The plan is to take at least one bag each weekend, sort through it, donate what can be donated and dispose of the rest.
We want to include him in the donating part, because I want to try to get him to know from an early age that when you're done with something you pass it on, not just let it clutter and take over your life and all your storage space
We also have to clean out the garage - we have two couches in there and that is after getting rid of one
The more I get rid of the better I feel, so I want to keep going down that path this year.

I've also decided that my work hours need to be seriously reduced - no more 14 hour days trying to cram everything in. That's a leap of faith for me since I'm self-employed, and cutting down to 8 hour days means taking fewer jobs But I'm trying to match my work hours to dh's, and take weekends off this year. After all, it's no good to WAHM if I'm not around for the family I'm staying home for. I could really use some in this area, though.

I really, really, really miss doing more needlework, tatting, and knitting. I'm going to try to use some of that time I'm not working to dig into the crafts that I desperately crave doing. That's my drug of choice - sitting down with lots of fabric and fiber spread out around me and choosing what to play with. It's so relaxing and calming and I need it.

With that being said, it's the weekend - and so I'm off to declutter a bag of stuff, straighten up with dh's help, take down the tree...and go sit and craft!
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Old 01-03-2009, 08:03 AM   #14
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Default Re: dh and I very excited about this year & a ???

For us t is about reconnecting as a family after last year being about taking care of me being pregnant. We want to refocus on homeschooling and doing lots of fun "together" family activities.

I have a few other goals around the house...
more decluttering
plant a small garden
repaint the walls upstairs
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Old 01-03-2009, 08:11 AM   #15
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Default Re: dh and I very excited about this year & a ???

Our goals for this will be to simplify everything we can: toys, furniture, clothes, and plan to spend more quality time together. A big part of that will be to turn media off (says the woman on the computer while her kids watch tv ) Being more intentional about our lives instead of just moving from one moment to the next.

Wow, this thread has been inspiring! I'm now off the computer to go spend some time with my kids
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