ETLDTD Week 3, day 5 -- 7/18/8 (friday and weekend)

[tempus vernum]

Week three

Attitude shift - Harnessing the Power of Free will
Reason; the only person you can make change is yourself
Discipline skill: choices
Value: COmmitment

Review the challenge p 262 and 263 - how are you doing? What changes do you want to make?

CHeck the reading for the week
*p 45 to 46 Power of Free will
*p 57 and 58
*Ch 5
Did you read this? If yes, re-read what you need review and set some goals for today

Let's celebrate our successes and work on our challenges. A cord of 3 strands is not easily broken.

Only 2 people expressed opinions on continuing the challenge for a week to discuss the extra challenges - I share that opinon so we will continue the challenge an extra week

praying today is a GREAT day

[tempus vernum]

My goals for the weekend is to
*be the person I WANT to be It could be easy or hard because we have a BUSY weekend ahead
*Reprint my cheat sheets and read them (they got soaked when Savana dumped water on my book) after adding "try it now" bullet points from the end of the chapters on the 7 discipline skills
*treat dh assertively and kindly

praying for each and every one of you as we make these changes together

Will come back to state my goals, but wanted to comment on this:

Originally Posted by SonshineMama

Can I comment that the "I want" part is also passive? "You need to go and have a rest now." Maybe instead of "Okay?" YOu could say "let's go." One thing I find that helps so much is transitions. "IN five minutes, it's rest time. FInish up what you are doing. I'll set the timer so I don't forget" Then at time state your DIRECTIVE. WHen I was retraining myself in this, I would often say "Oops. . .by saying okay I made it sound like you had a choice - what ai Meant was. . . ." and restate the directive in a firm way.

I say "I want" all the time too! I'm finding that being assertive is requiring that I change at a deep level. My family always half-joked that I was "bossy" and I think I've tried very hard to not wear that label. So hard, that I think I have swung to the opposite end of the spectrum. It feels wrong (like I'm being a drill sargent) to command my kids, even though I know that that is my job.

[Amber]

I'm still here, still working at the challenge

My goals for today:
- reconnect with Cole
- recognize *my* choices
- catch up on my reading

So has anyone come up with a good way to get their dh's to stop being passive and move towards being more assertive with the kids? My dh is sooooo passive in his wording of things. It drives me bonkers because the kids don't respond to it very well. I know he is trying to be "nice", but it is so confusing to the kids when he asks "Cole, why don't you come help me clear the table" and Cole says "No" then he changes it to "No, Cole. You need to come help."

[The Tickle Momster]

subbing

Still haven't read the chapter.

[MamaMansa]

I am mostly finished with my notecards. This started as a quest to pull quotes from the book, and as I worked on it, I decided I also wanted to take notes on the key concepts and techniques she uses (along with the quoted examples). It ended up taking a little longer than I anticipated, but I now feel like I can put these on a ring, and easily review them without having to constantly pull out the book.

If anyone still wants them, please PM me with email address so I have requests all in one place.

I already got PM's from:

Mummy2boys
Myrtle
Schnooky
SonshineMama
Praise

I will try to send them out this weekend.

*Edited to update list

Originally Posted by SonshineMama

Can I comment that the "I want" part is also passive? "You need to go and have a rest now." Maybe instead of "Okay?" YOu could say "let's go." One thing I find that helps so much is transitions. "IN five minutes, it's rest time. FInish up what you are doing. I'll set the timer so I don't forget" Then at time state your DIRECTIVE. WHen I was retraining myself in this, I would often say "Oops. . .by saying okay I made it sound like you had a choice - what ai Meant was. . . ." and restate the directive in a firm way.

I always thought to myself that saying "I want" was a nice way to command. I can see how it's better not to say it. I'll try to make a concious effort on this today and maybe try the transistions as well (if I remember), I have a timer now.

I am I had a baby checkup at the hospital today and I took the kids they were so good! Ketia walked with the pram from the carpark to the hospital (unlike last time when she ran away), and she sat on the seat or on the floor next to the pram while we were waiting for the appointment, I had a packet of chips for them to share, Ata sat in the pram. And we read some books and watched the Pope's plane take off on the TV. And then when I went into the appointment they both played with the toys in the doctors office and then they BOTH packed up when they were told, and we walked calmly back to the car and came home!

[The Tickle Momster]

[Amber]

Days like that keep you going in during the hard times

[tempus vernum]

week 4, day 1

[KLin]

I am still around. Oral surgery and pain killers have lost a few days.
I am reading all chapters. I am on Chapter 8. I need to read everything. I will catch up to the normal challenge asap.