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Old 07-03-2008, 07:30 AM   #1
tempus vernum
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Default ETLDTD - week one, day 4 -- 7/3/8

Read pp 51 to 65 - introduction to the 7 basic discipline skills and the section on composure.

Practice the power of perception throughout the day. p 42 or use the cheat sheets.

Work hard on maintaining a balanced perception of your children and everything around you.

Thoughts? Comments?
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Old 07-03-2008, 07:34 AM   #2
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Default Re: ETLDTD - week one, day 4 -- 7/3/8

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Old 07-03-2008, 07:45 AM   #3
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Default Re: ETLDTD - week one, day 4 -- 7/3/8

:coffee subbing
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Old 07-03-2008, 07:49 AM   #4
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Default Re: ETLDTD - week one, day 4 -- 7/3/8

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Old 07-03-2008, 10:06 AM   #5
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Default Re: ETLDTD - week one, day 4 -- 7/3/8

Okay, I am back.

Things were heading south but I paused and said "what I focus on, I get more of" it took a bit but we got back on track It wasn't pretty but it also didn't result in all out meltdowns. More importantly, I found myself thinking "who is this person who has taken over my body?"

I told Mama Mansa yesterday, I am not a yelling screaming fool when it comes to parenting but my internal raging and screaming is the problem. I don't yell as much as I do in my head. I want to stop the internal. ANd I am

It's liberating. I was thinking independence day tomorrow has new meaning for me

DH is joining me in this challenge He is starting soon I am very excited to have him join me
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Old 07-03-2008, 11:32 AM   #6
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Default Re: ETLDTD - week one, day 4 -- 7/3/8

How did you convince your DH to do this with you? My DH does not like reading unless it's something related to his job at work. I'll have to see if I can find this book on tape.

We are having a relatively calm morning. No meltdowns.....yet......so no opportunity to practice. I guess that's a good thing.

I'm not a screamer either, and struggle alot with internal yelling and anger. Especially in the last few days, I have been telling myself, "this moment is as it is" and that seems to help alot. I am a "fixer" by nature, and need to practice stepping back and letting others resolve their issues (as long as no one is getting hurt). Their solutions are often different than mine, and I'm trying to remind myself that's OK. I love the part in the book that talks about wanting to be special or "right." I'm working on letting go of that, and trying to see the opportunities to connect.
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Old 07-03-2008, 11:49 AM   #7
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Default Re: ETLDTD - week one, day 4 -- 7/3/8

We leave in a couple of hours to go visit my ILs for the 4th. In a way this challenge will be easier for me to do at their house because I usually parent better in public.

Quote:
I told Mama Mansa yesterday, I am not a yelling screaming fool when it comes to parenting but my internal raging and screaming is the problem. I don't yell as much as I do in my head. I want to stop the internal. ANd I am jaw dropping
I am so glad that people can't see what is going on internally when my kids are acting up, because I am the same way too These past couple of days I have been repeating to myself "this moment is what it is" and that has really helped me move past my anger and the "shoulds" (as in my child should be doing/not be doing this or that). I have been focusing more on what I can do to change the dynamic.

I will see you all on Monday.
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Old 07-03-2008, 12:51 PM   #8
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Default Re: ETLDTD - week one, day 4 -- 7/3/8

Well, I'm at least listening to the words coming out and the words in my head. I really wanted to tell Camille that she was making me mad. I decided I needed to accept that the moment was what it was. Not sure how much it helped at that time. Ididn't want to let go.

It was a tough morning all around. I resorted to turning on the TV for about an hour and a half.

TJ is in rare form today. He came down grunting at us. He so needs a morning do over. :/

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Old 07-03-2008, 03:30 PM   #9
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Default Re: ETLDTD - week one, day 4 -- 7/3/8

Laura, I don't know if I convinced or if me offering to get this book on CD for him "because it is SO awesome" (I had already told him that you were LOVING it and how you think all new parents need it ). He said "well, I can read ya know!" and I said "ooh, will you do the challenge then?" ANd he said "sure".

Amber, I hope you have a wonderful holiday and that you enjoy your time with your inlaws.

Michelle, it's okay to say "I feel angry when you __________" I say it alot I struggling with letting thigns go too.

When we need a morning do over, I make it silly and we all pile in my bed and snore loudly and roll around on each other it seems to lighten things up.
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Old 07-04-2008, 12:39 AM   #10
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Default Re: ETLDTD - week one, day 4 -- 7/3/8

im already oving the YOU COULD DO THIS ___________ statements its working. you could tidy up the toys while i get you arink and then its all done!
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Old 07-04-2008, 03:29 AM   #11
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Default Re: ETLDTD - week one, day 4 -- 7/3/8

Unfortunately I keep forgetting all the things I'm supposed to be saying to myself.

I was ready for a full on meltdown at the shops today and was trying to prepare in my head what I was going to say. One of the big department stores over here has a big toy sale where you can layby till christmas, we went to put some toys on layby, while I was at the layby counter she was looking at some toys on a shelf and didn't see what I was doing, so when I appeared next to her with an empty trolley she started to cry. I picked her up and said "You're sad because you thought we were taking the toys today. Mummy has to leave them here so she can pay for them and then you can get them for christmas". She didn't scream or throw a tantrum but she kept saying in a really sad voice that she wanted them back and kept pointing at the counter and was wanting to go over and get them. I ended up buying her a el cheapo Dora phone because I felt so sorry for her dunno if that was the right thing to do or not. But I didn't cave in when she wanted a lollipop as well. I told her she had a choice she could have the Dora phone or the lollipop (so hoping she'd say the lollipop cos it was only 50cents!!), but she wanted both so I decided she could have the Dora phone and I can't remember what I did or what I said but she was about to scream and then she stopped...

Well at least I tried, even if i ended up using bribery
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Old 07-04-2008, 05:06 AM   #12
tempus vernum
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Default Re: ETLDTD - week one, day 4 -- 7/3/8

Lula - awesome

Louise, it's a learning curve - don't be hard on yourself. I have done the same thing ((((((((((hug)))))))))
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Old 07-04-2008, 05:07 AM   #13
tempus vernum
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Default Re: ETLDTD - week one, day 4 -- 7/3/8

click here for week one, day 5
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Old 07-06-2008, 05:06 PM   #14
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