Biblical defense for NOT spanking?

I have been fortunate enough to meet a couple who surprisingly shares many of the same views that i do on parenting (breastfeeding, cosleeping, holistic health, babywearing, etc.). It has been so wonderful talking and learning from them. They are strong Christians and incredibly knowledgeable..have done a lot of reading and research to get to where they are now. I just found out last night that they are strict enforcers of using "the rod." They have a ton of biblical support to back themselves up and I didn't really have much of a response. Anyone have any books/articles/personal opinions that really address the issue of spanking from a biblical perspective? Not just so that I can defend my viewpoint, but so taht I can decide what I believe is the best thing. My daughter is only 2 so I am just beginning down the road of discipline. I would like to get a solid foundation of what I believe and WHY so that I can start implementing the basics and be more prepared when I really start needing to use discipline with her.

I greatly appreciate it. I have been gone from this site for a while due to family health problems and it was sooo refreshing to get back on here today!

thanks again!

[Can Dance]

how about... do unto others as you would have them do unto you?
or.... to the least of these you do to me.
or.........we don't hit, hitting hurts.

again, pretty basic. I feel pretty sorry for them that they feel its biblically necessary to hit their child. Jesus took our punishment for us and that leaves us with discipline: learning the appropriate behaviour. seems like a no brainer to me.

but then again, I also have a moral convinction that violence is never acceptable, especially with a bigger person hitting a smaller one.

Thanks for your response. I really appreciate you taking the time to write. As someone who has been abused, I never believe that violence is the right answer either. I just hold that belief more from my own experience and examples of those around me, than from really researching it though. I was just looking through the articles and it looks like there are some good ones that I'm going to have to sit down and read when I have time later tonight. If anyone has anything they want to add, I would LOVE to hear it! They are very convinced in the "rod" scriptures advocating spanking. I have never really studied those so I would love to hear some opinions. (I'm going to read the articles too, but the more advice/opinions/experience that I have to form my conclusion, the better! )

I really appreciate your time and help!!!

[heidisue]

do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (not other control).
the scripture that says it's god's kindness that leads us to repentence.
the words of christ concerning children, let the little children come unto me etc and it would be better to tie a milestone 'round your neck than to cause a little one to stumble (which i believe hitting them does).
where we are told that vengence is the lord's, punishment has no place in a christian home.

just some thoughts.

[mamaKristin]

Crystal's site has some great info on it, and she has biblical support for not spanking. http://aolff.com/?page_id=9
There is one place to start.

[canadiyank]

Yeah, check out Crystal's site.

Frankly, I don't think the Bible say to or not to spank. I think it says to discipline, and that's going to look different for every family. Based on the Scriptures others have shown, along with personal convictions and experience, we use GBD for our family. Do I think GBD is the right and best method? Of course! Do I wish every family would use it, sure! But really, that's not going to happen.

But as far as *not* spanking, I don't know that that can be proved. But, I can prove it doesn't say *to* spank...it says to discipline. Even if you take that "literally" to be physical punishment, nowhere does it say to spank, and if you are using a hand, or a spoon, or a whip, or whatnot, you're not being Biblical. You really need a shebet to continually beat the back of your foolish adolescent child. *That's* being literal.

So, spankers or "rod"-users are not being literal. And then, if they're *interpreting* Scripture to use their form of non-literal discipline, why can't I use my form of non-literal discipline?

[NewCovenantMama]

There's a really good study on this subject here, which you might want to show to your friends.

http://www.angelfire.com/md2/moodyfa...nclusions.html



Emma

[katiekind]

to that link. The author is a conservative Christian mom and former Ezzo contact mom. She did a very careful, detailed study and changed her views.

A conservative Christian author, Clay Clarkson, takes apart the spanking/rod argument in his book, "Heartfelt Discipline". He's a former spanker, and has a ministry in conservative Christian homeschooling circles where he formerly advocated spanking and no longer does, having taken a second look both at its effectiveness in his family and at the rod verses themselves.

Christians who believe in the rod verses often REALLY believe strongly about it. Of course they have it all worked out and nailed down, because in our culture, spankers feel pretty defensive about it.

Just remember when you read those verses how much "reading into it" you have to do in order to see spanking a two year old in them. When you read them, picture how old the person might be who is getting the rod applied to them. Picture what sort of crime they might have committed. Think about what degree of literality is necessary, and think about what wisdom principle might be being communicated. Think about how "proverbs" convey truth--do they convey precise instructions and God's commands or do they convey general truths and general wisdom by means of colorful, sometimes exaggerated, picture language?

I haven't really studied this -- but one of my friends (who actually DOES spank by the way), has done some study on Jewish traditions. She told me that, traditionally, it was unusual for Jewish parents to spank or hit their children, and they didn't spank small children. If there was physical punishment, it was usually for older -- as in almost adult -- teenagers. This is compatible with some things Crystal has written as well.

From what I've heard about the Middle Eastern cultures in which the Bible was written -- their approach to childrearing would be viewed as permissive by Dobson and the Ezzos and Pearls. Especially when it comes to small children.

When we read the Scriptures, I think it's good to understand the cultural context. Otherwise, we run the risk of thinking our culture's Puritanical, "beat the devil out of 'em" historical approach to discipline is what's being advocated.

I agree with Canadiyank that the Bible doesn't seem to give definite instructions one way or the other.

I haven't looked at Crystal's sight but her book, Biblical Parenting has a whole chapter on "the rod"