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Old 07-20-2006, 04:17 AM   #1
monkeylicious
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Default ETLDTD - Week One, Thursday

From Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky A. Bailey:

Week One

ATTITUDE SHIFT: Harnessing the Power of Perception
REASON: To own your own upset.
DISCIPLINE SKILL: Composure
VALUE: Integrity

* Remind yourself, "whomever is in charge of my feelings is in charge of me." Take back your power by owning your own upset. to own your own upset, say to yourself, "each day, each hour, every moment, i choose the sounds i want to hear, the sights i want to see, and the actions i want to focus on."

COMPOSURE: Living the values you want your child to develop.
* when you are upset, say to yourself, " i am willing to see this situation differently." then, use one of the Seven Powers for Self Control on yourself before you use one of the Seven Basic Discipline Skills with your child. remember, discipline yourself first, and your children second.
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Old 07-20-2006, 04:22 AM   #2
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Default Re: ETLDTD - Week One, Thursday

i find it hard to not see the things i don't want to! but i guess i don't have to focus just because i can't help seeing!

hope everyone has a good day, with no need to practice! but when the opportunities to practice come up, i pray that we take those moments to learn and to ingrain these thoughts/scripts in our minds!
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Old 07-20-2006, 06:39 AM   #3
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Default Re: ETLDTD - Week One, Thursday

praying for a good day, and that we all get a small chance to practice.
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Old 07-20-2006, 07:36 AM   #4
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Default Re: ETLDTD - Week One, Thursday

* Remind yourself, "whomever is in charge of my feelings is in charge of me." Take back your power by owning your own upset. to own your own upset, say to yourself, "each day, each hour, every moment, i choose the sounds i want to hear, the sights i want to see, and the actions i want to focus on."


I am in chagre of the way I feel and the way I react
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Old 07-20-2006, 07:39 AM   #5
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Default Re: ETLDTD - Week One, Thursday

We have an hour drive to my MW, a visit there, a doc's appt for the birth prescriptions, and the hour drive home. In this heat , I'm that God will give me the patience to own my own feelings and keep my composure!
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Old 07-20-2006, 08:31 AM   #6
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Default Re: ETLDTD - Week One, Thursday

Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlebirth
We have an hour drive to my MW, a visit there, a doc's appt for the birth prescriptions, and the hour drive home. In this heat , I'm that God will give me the patience to own my own feelings and keep my composure!


We are doing pretty well this week in spite of the tremendous amount of stress going on. in our lives - 2 sick kids - one possible whooping cough, one on steroids after getting chemo in the spinal tap and in his port (which means he's spunky and hurting all at the same time - go figure!). I haven't lost it yet -- only by God's grace I know

I noticed people asking for mental scripts in Wednesdays post -- at least this is how I understood this - that people wanted thing to say in their heads to calm themselves. I say to myself a lot "It is what it is and I can't do anything to change it. " I think I just changed the words from the book but don't remember where I got that. I also say to myself "my anger is only going to make this worse" while I am taking LOTS of deep breaths. I personally think each person will have to figure out what to say to themselves through trial and error. I also think deep breaths is important.

Hope and pray everyone does well today and that this challenge changes our lives
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Old 07-20-2006, 08:38 AM   #7
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Default Re: ETLDTD - Week One, Thursday

Thanks, SonshineMama, for the wise words

You're such an encouragement-a testimony of how God can be strong through us when we're feeling very, very stressed
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Old 07-20-2006, 09:45 AM   #8
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Default Re: ETLDTD - Week One, Thursday

i had to choose to be calm in the next moment today but after i regained my composure i was more willing to help dd through her emotions (rather than just let her cry for a couple of minutes until she got over it herself. so... i guess i did okay, just disappointed in myself for losing my calm in the first place. (but i'll get better! )

also in regards to scripts... i think someone was asking about how to access them in the heat of the moment. i think just practicing them (in your head, or in a journal... think writing sentences-like Bart in the Simpson's opening) would be helpful. it's just a matter of getting them ingrained in our minds, so that we don't have to stop to think (at least not for long) to spit out what we want to say (instead of our old habitual scripts) or maybe, if you carry a journal/notebook (i carry a small one in my purse to write down whatever i need, but also quotes, verses, even quotes from here!) you could put the script in there and be able to know right where it is and get to it quickly.
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Old 07-20-2006, 09:47 AM   #9
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Default Re: ETLDTD - Week One, Thursday



Just wanted to let you know I'm here. Haven't had much time to post anything worth reading about the subject--only been posting small stuff lately--but I'm here and reading!
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Old 07-20-2006, 09:56 AM   #10
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Default Re: ETLDTD - Week One, Thursday

I need to get that book...
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Old 07-20-2006, 11:06 AM   #11
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Default Re: ETLDTD - Week One, Thursday

* Remind yourself, "whomever is in charge of my feelings is in charge of me." Take back your power by owning your own upset. to own your own upset, say to yourself, "each day, each hour, every moment, i choose the sounds i want to hear, the sights i want to see, and the actions i want to focus on."

I read this before I took my shower this morning. When I got out of the shower, whew, again I was actually talking out loud with some pretend argument (what if I get pregnant, want a VBAC and my aunt who is a doctor tries to talk me out of it? Not even a REAL argument). I remembered to look around me to see what I wanted to hear and see. I saw the embroidery on my homemade curtains that I made out of antique pillowcases. I felt my wet hair. I focused on the water as I brushed my teeth.


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Old 07-20-2006, 05:26 PM   #12
monkeylicious
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Default Re: ETLDTD - Week One, Thursday

Quote:
Originally Posted by raisa

When I got out of the shower, whew, again I was actually talking out loud with some pretend argument
i do this all of the time in the car... only usually not future oriented, but past, or as if telling someone else about a just past event!

i did much better with dd this afternoon, but dh was home by the time she got up from her nap so that helped! I just have to learn to tune out dh and his interaction with dd... that's what can get under my skin in no time flat!
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Old 07-20-2006, 05:35 PM   #13
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Default Re: ETLDTD - Week One, Thursday

Quote:
"my anger is only going to make this worse"
Oh this is so true....but how often I forget it
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